Items to put a smile on your face ? :O)
Watch this postFirst Day at The Zoo:
A guy starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.
First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does so, a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss, he beats it to death with a spade. Realising his employer won't be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.
Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is attacked by the chimps pelting him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything... He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.
He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts, he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and shovels them into the lions cage because lions eat anything.
Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo.. He wanders up to another lion and says "What's the food like here?” (Wait for it !!!!!)………………
The lion says: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees"
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A woman went to the doctor's office where she was seen by one of the younger doctors.
After about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming as she ran down the hall.
An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story.
After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room.
The older doctor marched down the hallway back to where the young doctor was writing on his clipboard.
"What's the matter with you?" the older doctor demanded.
"Mrs. Terry is 71 years old, has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"
The younger doctor continued writing and without looking up asked,
"And tell me ? , Does she still have the hiccups?"
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Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.
If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.
If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.
As always, you make me smile/laugh. Thank you, you’re a star
Brilliant brilliant joke, love it!!!!
Hope you don’t mind if I copy it and pass it on to all my friends and family.
I think my mum would love it too but she’s not online!
Thanks for the laughter Yod, I look forward to the next one!! 🙂
Much better than my jokes, they’re non existent as I can never the punchline.
Maybe I could take a course in ‘joke telling’.
You could be my teacher! 🙂
I can never REMEMBER the punchline or remember to read my own comments before posting. They may actually make sense but I can’t guarantee anything!!! :-0
You have made my day. Your stories, jokes are brilliant. I’ve laughed my socks off......now my feet are cold!!!!
Just keep ‘em coming, this world needs more laughter and good news.
I’ll have to start a ‘good news’ thread, well I would if I knew how.
Any ideas folks! 🙂
Ok, so I help out at a charity shop and I was running late, which I hate.
I got home quickly changed into a pair of old jeans on the bed. I was walking down the street when I felt something dragging behind me.
I looked down and to my horror I saw a pair of my pants were hanging out of my jeans. I must have taken both off together and forgot about them!
So the moral of the story is: Always check yourself in a full length mirror before leaving home of suffer the consequences!! lol but then life would be boring if we were all perfect! 🙂
Sports of all kinds,but do spend most of my time in front of the TV,
Billy no mates that’s me these days.
So come say hi & chat with me I can’t be the only one in this position.