"really" making new friends!
Watch this postIs it just me, or am I missing something?? I have tried joining several groups~ (U3A, National Trust, RSPB, walking groups, etc, etc)~ and good though they all are in their own ways, I have made no "real "friends'.
I am fairly sociable and outgoing and reasonable intelligent, so I Can communicate well ~BUT~ ~ The groups all meet at the appropriate times and places, the individual activities are participated in, the session ends, and we all go home! Try as I might, Nobody wants to pursue the "acquaintances"~ (I use that word rather than the word "friend")~ outside of these groups, even though I have suggested to some of the folks I Seem to get on with that we might meet outside the group for a coffee, or anything else. They all scuttle off like frightened rabbits and don't appear to want to take it any further. I have noticed that most of the folks seem to come in twos or threes, so already Know others with whom they have closer/longer friendships.
One lady actually said, "~I don't need to make any more new friends, I have enough already". Think it just about sums it up! So ~ ~ this mythical idea that joining groups allay loneliness to me seems the exact Opposite!
I feel more lonely and isolated at the end of the sessions than before I went in! It's "goodbye, see you next month", and everyone is gone!
Any suggestions? Does anyone have similar experiences??
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Pat 🙂
so lonely in savannah should be my handle
How do these old posts keep getting regurgitated, it seems that there are too many sub categories on this site, maybe admin should delete the vast majority of them, we can`t go through all of them to find someone to chat to, What do you think?
Nice of you to reply, I`m in complete agreement with you, trying to find latest posts etc are a nightmare, plus my laptop seems to find a different layout on the forum page. I think they lose a lot of users because they can`t navigate round the site. Have you managed to find many people to chat with since you joined, I find I might get a message back then it all goes quiet and that is a pity
because a lot of people come on to this site because they are lonely and need someone to talk to. How does anybody ever get people on to a group chat I can`t imagine,Thanks again for reply hope to chat again with you sometime.
Life and feel there is still so much more to do during my Autumn years . Reflecting on have I done enough is there another episode in life to encounter . Is this normal to think on this at my age. I still work and was actually on a customers roof only last week installing a new solar concept of mine . It’s strange how the mind is willing but the body is not ,mere I’m in an old life crises ( smile ) do others on here feel the same .
Keep well.
It hasn't helped that my best mate died pre pandemic, he didn't even make 60 and his partner died of cancer during the pandemic, Generally they're either in poor health themselves, or have aged parents who have needs.
There was me thinking it would be like and episode of the last of the summer wine, getting out doing things, getting out and about and having a good time, but not any more
But hey ho
Some comments about being bored, luckily I tend never to feel bored as I have lots of hobbies and interests.
I can’t much comment on why groups don’t take it to a proper friendship, all I can think is people must be a bit clicky perhaps.
Good vibes to all!
Probably all my own fault, I used to go to the gym three or four times a week, to get some exercise and a bit of social interaction, but work got really busy and I stopped going
Being a gregarious and outgoing sort of fella, as and when I do speak on the phone, the caller is lucky to get away in less than and hour, even cold callers, well they're paying for the call
At the weekends if we go into town and / or to the local market or even Tescos, I will literally speak to everyone and everyone it drives my family up thew wall
There's probably more people than me affected this way ?
I think you're so brave for going to these meetings alone in the first place, I am far too shy to walk into a room or try to meet up with strangers, and as my partner died very suddenly last year I find it is very lonely especially at weekends - I work until 10pm Mon -Fri so that keeps me occupied as I don't drive so don't get home till late with the woeful bus service provided.I'd never have the confidence you obviously have to keep trying new groups.
Anyway, take care and hopefully one of these meetings will have someone who wants to be a proper friend rather than just a member going there to fill an hour or so in,
When we go back to Brum for a visit, no matter what pub we pop into there's someone to have a laugh and a chat with. God, I miss my home town.
I have found the same problem that you have… Sometimes these groups are a little clicky... and those clicks are really hard to break or get into… And sometimes people just join them for the day that they all meet and then prefer to go their separate ways after.
I would suggest you try a church. However don't expect to be greeted warmly right away, as many churches have become more closed off to newcomers. Another unfortunate symptom of our social dilemma today.
Another suggestion is to try volunteer work. It's rewarding and a good icebreaker for meeting others who may be actually looking for friends too.
I encourage you to be kind to someone. If you hear music at the grocery store, dance to it. You would be amazed at the laughs you might get, and that's a good thing to bring smiles wherever you go.
Just some suggestions.
Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.
If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.
If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.
Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.
If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.
If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.
Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.
If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.
If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.
Also there is a local branch of the National Pensioners Association (Now called "Active") which meets every week in a nearby hall, I have made friends there and had outings, coach holidays and met with them outside of the"Club" Folk I have been able to phone and chat with in these times. It takes a bit of effort, but pays off in the end!.
Things occur by happenstance, I usually only contribute on speakers corner, I was idly browsing when I saw your comment. Until you team up, chat to Silversurfers, they are a great and varied bunch.
I had to stop bowling because of the covid restrictions-2020 was a tough year, wasn't it?
Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.
If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.
If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.