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Items to put a smile on your face

Optimism is going after Moby Dick in a rowboat. Confidence is bringing the tartar sauce.


Created By on 05/09/2020

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WhiteCrow
4 hours ago
0
Thanks for voting!
CHRISTMAS CAKE RECIPE
INGREDIENTS

1 Cup of water
8 oz dried fruit
1 tblsp salt
Lemon juice
1 tsp baking powder
8 oz Sugar
1 Bottle of whisky

4 large eggs
1 lb of dried fruit
8 oz butter
8 oz of flour

METHOD
Sample the whisky to check for quality

Take a large bowl. Check whisky again. To be sure it is of the highest
quality, pour one level cup and drink, repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer, beat 2 oz of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one tsp of sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whisky is still OK, cry another tup.

Turn off the mixerer, break two bowls and add to the eggs and chuck in the fruit.

Mix on the turner. If the fruit gets stuck in the bloody beaters, pry it loose with a screwdriver.

Sample the whisky again to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two sups of calt or something, Who cares? Check the whisky.

Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table or spoon of sugar or something, Whatever you can find.

Grease the oven turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turnerer. Throw the bowl out the window, check the whisky again and go to bed.........
Singularity
22nd Mar 2022 14:18:15 (Last activity: 23rd Mar 2022 13:27:28)
0
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My wife pestered me to accompany her to our local community centre to watch a performance of a reputable ‘faith healer’. I went along with her, as you do. What a waste of time. Even the chap next to me in a wheelchair got up and walked out.
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 22nd Mar 2022 14:25:06
Hi Singularity,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

Response from Singularity made on 23rd Mar 2022 13:27:28 > @Sally - Silversurfer's Editor
Thanks for the welcome. HAND.
Milkyway
4th Oct 2021 08:36:44
0
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I took my car for its MOT yesterday & the mechanic asked if I was staying or coming back later.
I had the day off, so I said I would stay & sit in the observation areas.
The mechanic explained, that it might take a bit longer than normal as he had a trainee with him.
It was no bother & he would not charge me full price.

The test was going OK. thumbs up all around.
The mechanic then shouted to the trainee.
“Are the indicators working”
He replied....”YES, no, YES, no, YES”...
Milkyway
3rd Oct 2021 18:55:15
2
Thanks for voting!
Two monkeys in a bathroom...
The first one said: “Oooooh ahhhh ahhhh Ooooo”

The second one said: “ Well, just put some more cold in then”
Rayot
17th Jan 2021 09:59:56
4
Thanks for voting!
Forrest Gump died and went to Heaven.
St. Peter said "Sorry, Forrest, we are really busy just now. You have to answer 3 questions before you can go through the Pearly Gates,

First; you have to say how many days in the weak begin with the letter "T" ?

Second; how many seconds are there in a year ?

Third; what is God`s first name ?"

Forrest Gump thought for a while and said; "Sure, St. Peter. I can answer those questions easily.

The answer to the first question is Today and Tomorrow"

St. Peter said; "That`s not really what I was looking for, but OK I`ll give you that"

Forrest Gump said; "The answer is twelve. The second of January, the second of February, the second of March". "Hold on" St. Peter said "I see where you're coming from, and OK, I`ll give you that one also"

"The third is easy" Forrest Gump said. "His name is Andy"

"Oh, come on" St, Peter said. "How can God´s name be "Andy" ?

"From the song" Forrest Gump said: "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me. Andy says He will love me forever"

"OPEN THE GATES." St. Peter shouted "OPEN THE GATES" RUN, FORREST, RUN"
.
startwigg21
18th Sep 2020 12:23:28 (Last activity: 18th Sep 2020 12:35:08)
0
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Very funny couldnt agree more on both accounts the wine glass especially! I read a book called shine in january and ever since have enjoyed the positive life and try to help others to too. If its hot and feeling grumpy i look at comedians which always works.
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 18th Sep 2020 12:35:08
Hi startwigg21,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

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