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Adult Grandchildren

I posted on this last year, commenting on the fact that my adult grandchildren very rarely say thank you when I send them a cheque for £20 on their birthday and Christmas. I decided this year just to send them Christmas cards, with the exception of one of them who is at University and not earning. This one has never said "Thank You". As soon as she is earning I will stop sending her a cheque.


I feel a mean old bag but it adds up to lot of money. These days it need not cost them anything or very little. A text or phone call would have been enough.


What do other grandparents think?


Created By on 02/01/2019

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PeggyT9
5th May 2021 00:42:41 (Last activity: 5th May 2021 07:54:45)
0
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REspect is also earned. Don't wait until she is earning dollars. Grandparents are for teaching and setting examples. There are some circumstances where we allow people in our life to not conform to the norms of our society. Depends on your values. My family bible has always been "The little REd Hen". If you have a disabled child or gc, or any special kind of circumstances that would prevent them from being able to thank you continue to be generous.
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 5th May 2021 07:54:45
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Yogafan
2nd Jun 2019 05:59:12 (Last activity: 5th May 2021 00:37:38)
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Its your grandchildren who are mean,by not thanking you.Last year I stopped sending my son and his girlfriend presents.I had been sending them Xmas,Birthday and Easter presents and never got a thankyou.I had also not received anything,not even a card.I know you don't give to receive but my thoughts are,why should you invest time and money into someone,when they're not with you.Its very unbalanced.
I am working full time.Buying someone presents is time consuming,can be expensive,and due to my son living in another country,the postage was horrendous.I would message my son to ask him to let me know when the parcel arrived.He did'nt.I had to chase him up to check.Then when it came to the occasion,he would never thank me.I thought I had brought him up much better than that,and that in itself is disappointing.It was'nt costing him anything to message me on Facebook or whatever.
My advice is to save your money.If people can't be bothered to at the very least thankyou,then they are not worthy of a gift.
Response from PeggyT9 made on 5th May 2021 00:37:38
Agree. Life is short, take good care of yourself.
PeggyT9
5th May 2021 00:36:05
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Don't buy into "this is the way of the world" Keep you self respects, be around people including family that treasure you for who you are. To allow people to not respect you is feeding the resentment that you will feel and lose sleep over if you allow to continue. No words just actions. IMO say nothing to the family, just do what you need to do to set your boundaries and they will soon know that you can not be taken advantage of.
PeggyT9
5th May 2021 00:32:29
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Sounds like many of us have had enough of adult grandchildren who are not appreciative or respective of the senior generation. I have been sending $ to an adult granddaughter who is taking classes in college, not working recently due to covid, however will return to part time work soon, h opefully. I received a 1 line text when I sent her a bd gift card. Other monies I receive nothing, no text, no card, no email. A family visit recently and she said she had to do homework, always an excuse to not show at a family gathering. So, Time to be my own best friend and not allow myself to be treated that way any longer. No more $$ for anything until she decides that I am a person, with feelings, and definitely expect respect.
I see posts that the parents are to blame for this kind of behavior in their children. Well if we continue to be the softie grandparents we are continuing that pattern. I have known forever that I need to take care of myself in regard to being around people that do not like or respect me. Lose much less sleep now. Families are those we choose not necessarily our biological family. 🙂
LynnC21
20th Jul 2019 16:47:00
0
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I thought it was just my grandchildren who are ungrateful but it would appear it's quite the norm. Saying that, a little bit of gratitude would go a long way, and I would never have treated my grandparents the way my grandchildren treat me. They have this attitude like you owe them. But unfortunately this is the way the world is going.
NannyNatasha
14th Jan 2019 16:44:35
1
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I completly agree and so do my friends in my computer, we all grandchildren can be a bit thoughtless in thanking grandparents for gifts, maybe its because they get too much??
CaroleAH
7th Jan 2019 11:35:03
0
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No reason why you should have, but sometimes sharing a burden can help and give you a different perspective on things.
CaroleAH
7th Jan 2019 10:01:07
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Sorry to hear that, Lochinvar - very sad situation.
ecarg
6th Jan 2019 08:54:00
2
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I think your'e quite right,many years ago my elderly Aunt stopped sending cash to my son but continued gifting my daughter as she wrote thanhyou letters and he didn't..
CaroleAH
3rd Jan 2019 14:50:38
1
Thanks for voting!
I don't think you are mean at all. I always told my children that if they couldn't be bothered to thank people for gifts then the gifts would soon stop! As you say, these days an email or a text costs nothing but a few minutes to send. In my family, which is quite large, we have stopped buying presents for siblings, nieces and nephews and their children as it got so expensive and just buy for our own children and as I've only one grandchild, who always thanks me, it's not too bad.

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