Alcohol dependency

Hello every one I am a new member also been an alcoholic for thirty years now clean last thirteen.

I understand many members or families loved ones have problems around alcohol leading to possible addiction.

If you are concerned and do need some one to discuss with any issues problems I have a wealth of experience knowledge.

Been through rehab services mental health services out reach services, also want to say have the information guidance and support net works if I can help please do.

I also have supported advising those with alcoholism and it is a difficult every day on going situation.

Even for my self despite being clean you have to remember the WHO World Health Organisation has stated alcoholism a disease which it is.

I also have had insights and encounters from those still drinking still thinking not an alcoholic and use intimidation bullying to continue.

As with any alcoholism the person themselves need to identify the problems can never say stop has to be done with specialist treatment and care.

If you ever said to an alcoholic stop and they did for some reason the body reacts needs that drink withdrawn suddenly heart circulation problems could occur.

Systems of the body are scarred deeply and can react to any of the symptoms of being an alcoholic, including bowel and stomach issues headaches nausea loss of appetite and shakes shivers loss of memory.

Only way is specialist help support advice which I can give any one the facts clear precise information and advice. Understand the distress the pain and the anxiety.

I would always advise to any loved one member who is a alcoholic to discuss with your GP.

There are charities organisations and associations offer a plan an a lot of coping methods strategies which in my opinion are good only way is to go through rehab.

I have been through many of these kept relapsing so used rehab community services. Called CAS Community Alcohol Service your local area will have one.

I will always give the details of any organisations good to use but it the whole point of recovery is to make sure that you can cope with out alcohol.

Since coming off I have to share and admit to you this a long process 18 months to 2years to be clean.

Had to be strong took a lot of strength courage and also I lost many friends doing the process, sorry apologise but it happens.

I can not be with other alcoholics or go the pub or drink with other people. Have no relationships for a long time as alcohol it seems the social way to meet.

Add to that side effects health symptoms have blighted my life yes am clean but has caused me constant pain, aches . Muscle loss memory loss, walking struggling, social personal issues trust.

Hearing loss eyesight loss already had that due to disability now made worse by addiction been told.

Stomach bowel problems on long term meds at one time five in number different types to cope with Dementia Thiamine and drugs meds to get rid of pain unfortunately used cannabis in a teabag to help me reduce pain, again got addicted had to seek help again.

So have that as well experience knowledge of medications drugs used courses funded by NHS local wellbeing services to benefit my own knowledge to educate myself.

On mental health related courses wellbeing medications sleep and much more diet nutrition have got obtained qualifications in those.

All is a worth while experience knowledge to pass on to those who are alcoholic.

Please ask me any thing , new one is the units the confusion on units how much should I be drinking a common question, I will just say the Government says one thing says another.

I will supply the information something I will do have a website but the recent levels have dropped or might have increased, meet so many bewildered.

Talking of website these will help any one to understand anything about alcohol happy to include as well alcoholism.

https://www.alcohol_anonymous.org.uk

https://www.drinkaware.co.uk

The last one has a lot on units and makes it clear easy to understand.

The AA organisation offers meetings where that you attend have a sponsor.

I would consider this mental health charity.

https://www.richmondfellowship.org.uk

Has it own inhouse advisors and addiction specialists all alcoholics have mental health issues. Anxiety depression personality disorders.

Mental health one other good service MIND

https://www.mind.org.uk

All charities might not be in all areas.

One other the Salvation Army has it own rehab addiction teams .

https://www.salvationarmy.org.uk

Please if you need help am here to listen be supportive.

Thank you all

Please take care.

there is an off shoot of AA called ALANON for family of alcoholics.they offer support for those who choose to live with alcoholics

I used to drink too much but then found other ways to spend my time, you have to be honest with yourself.

My husband died last year from alcoholic liver disease, what i know is you struggle to change things if he doesn't want to change his lifestyle. My husband had 4 kids (my stepkids) and wanted to stop but just couldn't. He was a good man with a terrible affliction and no professional help,helped. My life was a struggle but I would have not
been without him for the time i had-20 years
I know it's not helpful but sometimes you have to choose quality over quantity and let people make their own decisions
Sorry to be contravesial and of little help but its just one womans experience. Some times its useful to know you are not the only one experiencing

This is quite a common reaction. If you want to know why and what to do, then read my book 'The Sophisticated Alcoholic'.

Very difficult for you, have you tried talking to your GP. He won't talk directly to you because if confidentiality but he might pick up on it if your husband visits him for whatever reason. Your husband's liver might be suffering a little and that could show on a routine blood test.
Other than that you need him to acknowledge that he has a problem.
Do you know why he drinks so much, maybe work related stress

I come from a family of alcoholics. MY father was also a drug addict, as was my eldest daughter. My younger brothers and my mother were all heavy drinkers. Both my sisters drink too much but would never admit to having a problem. My eldest daughter got herself clean and sober for six and half years, before picking up again and I lost her to suicide in January 2015. I have five suicides in my family, my brother drank himself to death at age 54. His organs practically burst out of his body. My grandchildren (four out of six were born with FASD (Foetal Alcohol Syndrome Disorder). This can distort facial features, and the children usually have Special Needs, educational and otherwise. I understand this forum is for over fifties, (I am 67). But I cannot believe how common this disease is in all age groups. My childhood boyfriend has recently informed me that he is alcohol dependant too. This makes me so, so sad. I used to enjoy a drink, but my family members become extremely obnoxious on drink. I've seen homes being smash up, people being battered etc. I wish I had a magic wand to make all this right. I do not see my family now although they live close by (I am in touch with nieces and nephews). I wait until I'm out of the country to have a drink, and then its usually one or two. I couldn't cope with hangovers, but I understand you don't get hangovers once you reach the point of alcohol dependency.

Hi angela I’m having a similar problem but my husband drinks beer evernight.. We are also in our 60’s. & the drinking depresses me & makes me feel like I’m the reason he-drinks. I quick drinking when our children were young but he continued. I’m a retired nurse & also worry about the health effects from the daily alcohol consumption. Not to mention that it doesn’t bring much happiness to our marriage or home life. He has only drinking friends. I have only friend that dont & our social circles is shrinking because of all this. Feeling helpless & alone. Wish I had some good advice to help you with.

Any new posts on here ,all the chats are old

I am a member of CAMRA , but since I have been diagnosed with Diabetes 2 , I have cut back.
How did I get found out, I had been working a beer festival and tried 39 different beers , and had a blood test at my surgery , the result to what would have been a basic health check meant that health check could not be done , so I had see one of practice nurses who then prescribed metformin tablets for the diabetes I have a blood test level of around 6.8%.
I still enjoy the odd beer but not large amounts, the diabetes made me rethink about things due to high sugar levels in alcoholic drinks.

Hi angela.
As a person who lived with a man who was dependent on alcohol all i can advise is......if the person acknowledges that they have an issue with drink you are halfway there......if they dont want to change im afraid you have to find a way to live with it or take the decision to live a seperate life either wuth your husband or not. Best of luck.

I am not a horrible man, far from it I worked with people for people the last 22 years of my working life. Yet I don't get this site at all, people post then you don't see them again. If someone asks for help or a warm blanket to help them through hard times please stay and talk to people.

Dear Angel48...
I am sad that you have posted yet are not replying, there is nothing to feel embarrassed about here, no one will ever know who you really are. Looks like people who have responded are showing out reached hands for you to hold, listen to, talk to.
I hope you are OK???

Dear Hawk2017
I have total respect towards you, firstly for taking it one day at a time, secondly for fronting up on a forum like this... One day at a time, builds to two then on and on, we then look back and the years have passed. Yet we still have to do it one day at a time.

If you ever want a good old chin wag I would welcome it as also followed the path of broken glass, now 26 years.

I was married for over 33 years and my husband and I drank almost every night. Not more than a bottle each! Or socially each night with friends in the pub. We never considered ourselves alcoholics, it was just something we did. We parted about 10 years ago and I lost most of our friends. So I drank at home mostly out of boredom. I hated the lack of control. I cut down slowly, 1 night not drinking 1 night with 2 glasses of wine and sometimes back to the bottle! I now only drink socially and then at the max 2 glasses. I wouldn't class myself as an alcoholic but perhaps I was?????

When you have your home and life around you and have a pattern of things you do it can be hard to motivate yourself. I found it too easy to sit in the evenings and relax over a glass of wine.

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Hello Angel48.
The question is, what happens when your husband does not have a drink for a few days, can he go that long without having a drink. If he does what happens. Has he said to you that he is an alcoholic, thinks he has a problem. I only ask this as you have said above you even tired AA. Did you mean he attended it? If so what happened.
You say you are at your wits end and its making you unwell. May I ask you a complete stranger I know, is it his behavior towards you when he drinks or maybe before he starts his evening drinking. Why do you think he needs to drink.

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Hi, I am so sorry to hear what your going through, I can empathise, I was that person I was drinking a bottle, sometimes 2, of wine nightly, my excuse, I was alone after divorce, I began to feel lifeless, very ill, my body wasn't functioning at all, but I still drank, I have not been to AA or other, I looked at pictures on internet of damaged liver, I saw why I had pain in my liver, I read about the damage the drink was/had done to me, I cut down ....best way rather than cold turkey....till now I have 2 maybe 3 bottles a week...and honestly, I will cut down more, its a slow process, its neccassary if I wanna live a wee bit longer lol,, show him/ask him to look and read, it worked for me, God Bless, I hope it works for you/him x

Sadly I have been there too with my husband and as everyone else says, there isn't a lot you can do. My husband came to his senses eventually, after a nasty shock at the hospital, and he is like a different person but they are the ones that have to want to change. No matter what I tried, nothing had any effect. I often think of the years I wasted. Please feel free to have a private chat with me as I'm really happy to chat