View comments by: Most Recent - first / last | Most Popular - first / last | Replies - hide / show

Older grandchildren who never say Thank Your for Christmas or Birthday cheques

I have six grandchildren who no longer live at home with their parents and I very rarely receive a Thank You. It is so easy these days. They could easily pick up the telephone or send an email. I feel like just sending a card.


Do other grandparents always receive a Thank You?


Created By on 16/09/2018

Not a member?

You need to be a member to interact with Silversurfers. Joining is free and simple to do. Click the button below to join today!

CristinaF
18th Apr 2020 18:49:43 (Last activity: 24th Dec 2020 23:00:29)
2
Thanks for voting!
I have a cut off date, after they turn 18 or graduate from high school they get NOTHING from me. sorry if that sounds inappropriate but enough is enough, and if they haven't called me to say hello or anything, then no presents for them.
Response from Jan1952 made on 30th Apr 2020 22:42:07
I do that as well. But the younger ones are ungrateful too.
Response from JC8 made on 24th Nov 2020 21:45:23
And that's my rule too once they are 18 gifts end and I just send cards...but then they have children so the cycle starts again
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 24th Nov 2020 22:20:32 > @JC8
Hi JC8,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

Response from Janis1114 made on 24th Dec 2020 23:00:29 > @Jan1952
I guess that's the way it is. I brought it up to my son and wife but they don't seem to have control over the situation. I was brought up to respect my elders, say thank you and have manners. Today they just think of themselves. Pity.
Janis1114
24th Dec 2020 22:56:31
1
Thanks for voting!
Yes! I've been feeling the same way! I have nine grandkids and three live out of state. They don't call, don't say thank you when I send a card or money. I feel so upset about it. They moved away 7 years ago and although I hear from our son every week or two and our daughter-inlaw texts (after I do) the kids don't call. Wow I just realized your message was dated two years ago! lol
JC8
24th Nov 2020 21:40:24
0
Thanks for voting!
And that's my Christmas sorted this yearI will now be known as many Nan
Airstavros
18th Oct 2020 00:49:27 (Last activity: 24th Nov 2020 21:36:35)
0
Thanks for voting!
No excuse for failing to say thank you. It's so easy these days.
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 18th Oct 2020 08:35:53
Hi Airstavros,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

Response from JC8 made on 24th Nov 2020 21:36:35 > @Sally - Silversurfer's Editor
Thank you I'm just browsing right now until I find my way around
JC8
24th Nov 2020 21:35:00
0
Thanks for voting!
I only receive a Thank you from certain members of the family and occasional phone calls
Airstavros
18th Oct 2020 00:47:02
0
Thanks for voting!
If they disfigured their bodies they will regret it bitterly in a few years' time when tattoos will be unfashionable.
Airstavros
18th Oct 2020 00:44:45
0
Thanks for voting!
Don't send anything if they don't have the courtesy to thank you.
Len45
14th Oct 2020 20:06:40
0
Thanks for voting!
I have to admit mine do, the only gripe I've got is the obsession with tattoo's in there generation
Stellagirl2017
14th Oct 2020 17:31:27
0
Thanks for voting!
I'm not sure I've received a thank you since mine were grown either. It's like they take you for granted.
Fevva
2nd Oct 2020 17:01:46
0
Thanks for voting!
I don't really want a letter - I remember what a chore it was writing them as a child, and for my children when they were little. But I would like a telephone call, email or text message. Giving a present should be as enjoyable as receiving one; after all, it takes a lot of thought and effort to select and send something that you think your grandchildren will like. I had no acknowledgement from my 10 year old granddaughter on her birthday (even though we have talked on Zoom several times) and, frankly, it makes me feel like not giving her a Christmas present. Yes, I know that's petty! I would just like my grandchildren to understand and appreciate how lucky they are instead of taking it all for granted.
Judi2
14th Sep 2020 14:02:33 (Last activity: 14th Sep 2020 14:09:41)
0
Thanks for voting!
I don’t get a thank you from my kids. Lol
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 14th Sep 2020 14:09:41
Hi Judi2,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

AnointedRose
24th Aug 2020 19:35:40 (Last activity: 24th Aug 2020 20:20:10)
0
Thanks for voting!
If it were not for my relationship and dependency upon God, I would take personally the absence of a thank you for gifts. Yet, as grandma's know our granddaughters hearts and as such, know that they want to but feel pressured not to. That's why we have established support groups for Aging grandparents. We are on facebook. I try to maintain contact like the link st judge, our kids will too change their minds.
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 24th Aug 2020 20:20:10
Hi AnointedRose,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

SolentRichard
10th Jul 2020 17:28:12
2
Thanks for voting!
Nope. and when it became apparent I decided to start reducing the value of the gifts.

That made not an iota of difference so, fast forward 4 years and it's now a Christmas and birthday card.

Meanwhile, I'm hundreds of pounds better off.
CarrieL7
4th Jul 2020 19:47:50 (Last activity: 4th Jul 2020 21:23:46)
0
Thanks for voting!
"His" grandchildren have visited (we live in a 'destination') and given living demonstrations, sometimes in front of their parents, or if having brought a friend, to show off, of crude, rude, selfish behavior -- not a wink of gratitude, from self-invited mooching house guests! (College graduates). Never sent Grandpa a darn birthday card but that Mamma signed and mailed it for them! No more. Not like I didn't try -- "hints" like sending books about good manners, so I figure why let them abuse me and where TF did they learn how to behave? They never got told about how rude it is to show up "empty handed"? Duh.
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 4th Jul 2020 21:23:46
Hi CarrieL7,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

patmca
1st May 2020 16:22:10
2
Thanks for voting!
Does not bother me at all. We send money to our 4 because we want to and in most cases it is the parents who tell us they got the card not the children. We are good with that. it is our choice and we do not expect thanks. We know how much we mean to them when we meet them so we are happy with that.
SUNROSE
6th Dec 2018 18:43:16 (Last activity: 30th Apr 2020 22:44:09)
7
Thanks for voting!
Dear Topsie
heres a tip I read - send them a card with this written inside
" Here's a little something to buy yourself something nice."
Do not enclose any thing.
You will soon get a reply !
Do not reply.
Response from CaroleAH made on 6th Dec 2018 21:27:48
Wow! Harsh but could be effective! 🙂
Response from Jan1952 made on 30th Apr 2020 22:44:09
LOL
Jan1952
30th Apr 2020 22:41:30
0
Thanks for voting!
My pet peeve!! I don't have grand children, but great nieces and nephew who NEVER send a thank you. I've spoken to my niece ( their mother ) and she now , sometimes, will text me a photo of them with the present, or a thank you. But it's not coming from them ! My husband says I should stop sending them anything. Oh, they are aged 14,12 and almost 8. I wrote thank yous from the age of 7. No excuse. My other great niece and nephew send hand written thank yous and they are great !!! Speaking to others my age, this is now common among the " younger generation ". To me, it shows lack of manners.
Oneoftwo1946
14th Jan 2020 18:39:25
1
Thanks for voting!
If that were happening to me I'd just stop sending them things that need a Thank You! Then if they should mention that you had not sent anything you could just say that you had not received a Thank You note from them for previous gifts so you were concerned that they had not been receiving them.
corringham
11th Oct 2019 13:51:20
0
Thanks for voting!
CaroleAH
24th Jan 2019 11:14:49 (Last activity: 21st May 2019 13:04:00)
4
Thanks for voting!
I'm surprised at the number of comments on this topic from people who don't mind if they don't receive thanks for a gift. I was taught, from a very early age, that I always had to say "thank-you" and, as a result, continue to do so. I don't think that I like this modern trend of not acknowledging gifts!
Response from Amberwood made on 19th May 2019 15:03:31
Hi Carole,
I have chosen this subject to make contact again. I've changed my user name. You know me as Pam, and to be honest I'm not sure which user name I used previously. Pamratty I think??
I do apologise for disappearing from Silver Surfers when I did just as you were going to visit your sister in Surrey. How did it go?
My friend lost her partner in November 2018 in Cobham and I was a bit preoccupied. Her mum also became very poorly and had to be placed in a care home at the same time, she has since passed away. A number of other deaths came swiftly on the heels and I have felt somewhat down at losing friends so quickly.
As a little thought on this subject I don't like the trend of no contact if a gift has been sent. Who started the trend I wonder, and why??
I hope you have been keeping well and have some moreholidaysbooked for 2019.
I hope you will forgive me my very bad manners and dreadful communication all skills. Pam x
Response from CaroleAH made on 21st May 2019 13:04:00
Hi Pam - have replied in private chat messages! 🙂
Page 3 of 4

Community Terms & Conditions

Content standards

These content standards apply to any and all material which you contribute to our site (contributions), and to any interactive services associated with it.

You must comply with the spirit of the following standards as well as the letter. The standards apply to each part of any contribution as well as to its whole.

Contributions must:

be accurate (where they state facts); be genuinely held (where they state opinions); and comply with applicable law in the UK and in any country from which they are posted.

Contributions must not:

contain any material which is defamatory of any person; or contain any material which is obscene, offensive, hateful or inflammatory; or promote sexually explicit material; or promote violence; promote discrimination based on race, sex, religion, nationality, disability, sexual orientation or age; or infringe any copyright, database right or trade mark of any other person; or be likely to deceive any person; or be made in breach of any legal duty owed to a third party, such as a contractual duty or a duty of confidence; or promote any illegal activity; or be threatening, abuse or invade another’s privacy, or cause annoyance, inconvenience or needless anxiety; or be likely to harass, upset, embarrass, alarm or annoy any other person; or be used to impersonate any person, or to misrepresent your identity or affiliation with any person; or give the impression that they emanate from us, if this is not the case; or advocate, promote or assist any unlawful act such as (by way of example only) copyright infringement or computer misuse.

Nurturing a safe environment

Our Silversurfers community is designed to foster friendships, based on trust, honesty, integrity and loyalty and is underpinned by these values.

We don't tolerate swearing, and reserve the right to remove any posts which we feel may offend others... let's keep it friendly!