Modern or Traditional
Watch this postOne of my children has completely cut me off because I do not fit into her (and her siblings) definition of family - in that I am not part of their daily lives. She has even gone so far as to stop me meeting my new grandson. This caused me to give serious consideration of what "family" means these days but also to the concept of grand-parenting. Following discussions with my other two children, my own siblings and friends - I recognised that I did / do not fit into the traditional role of a grand-parent that my parents and a number of my friends fit into. While I love my children and grand-children dearly I cannot imagine fitting into the traditional on-call role of a grand-parent - I am not looking forward to retiring and spending as much time with them as I can; I am not looking forward to being an on-call babysitter / child minder; I am not looking forward to dropping around everyday for a cup of tea; and I really don't want to move back to England, having lived in the sunshine for so many years, to perform that role. Could I do it in order to become part of the "family" and spend time with my family? Yes I could but I would be utterly miserable! I have been travelling the world for 50 years and I cannot imagine stopping. Does this make me a bad person / grand-parent?
I want to spend more time with my children / grand-children than I have in recent years but I also want to live! Should I sacrifice my own happiness to fit into the traditional role? I should say at this time that I am single, a huge motor racing and sports fan (an F1 / motor racing marshal); love golf and travel; and had always imagined my retirement to include visiting all of the global F1 events; playing golf (getting my handicap down); visiting all of the major opera houses and wine regions of the world; and as many major sporting events as I can. Does that make me a selfish b*****d? What I would like to do - because my family do figure prominently in my retirement thoughts - is settle in the South of France, near an airport within short / cheap flying distance of the UK, and to create a base for my children and grand-children to spend their holidays with me. I can then drive to many of the places I have n't seen, playing golf en route, but also have a means of getting back to the UK quickly if my children need me to cover for them or to provide support.
There's my story but would love to know what this community thinks - are you traditional grand-parents or are you modern (selfish?) grand-parents? Oh - and do you spell grand-parents / grandparents with or without the hyphen???? In my defence, I am following the subject lead. 😀
Log in to comment
You need to be logged in to interact with Silversurfers. Please use the button below if you already have an account.
LoginNot a member?
You need to be a member to interact with Silversurfers. Joining is free and simple to do. Click the button below to join today!
JoinCommunity Terms & Conditions
Content standards
These content standards apply to any and all material which you contribute to our site (contributions), and to any interactive services associated with it.
You must comply with the spirit of the following standards as well as the letter. The standards apply to each part of any contribution as well as to its whole.
Contributions must:
be accurate (where they state facts); be genuinely held (where they state opinions); and comply with applicable law in the UK and in any country from which they are posted.
Contributions must not:
contain any material which is defamatory of any person; or contain any material which is obscene, offensive, hateful or inflammatory; or promote sexually explicit material; or promote violence; promote discrimination based on race, sex, religion, nationality, disability, sexual orientation or age; or infringe any copyright, database right or trade mark of any other person; or be likely to deceive any person; or be made in breach of any legal duty owed to a third party, such as a contractual duty or a duty of confidence; or promote any illegal activity; or be threatening, abuse or invade another’s privacy, or cause annoyance, inconvenience or needless anxiety; or be likely to harass, upset, embarrass, alarm or annoy any other person; or be used to impersonate any person, or to misrepresent your identity or affiliation with any person; or give the impression that they emanate from us, if this is not the case; or advocate, promote or assist any unlawful act such as (by way of example only) copyright infringement or computer misuse.
Nurturing a safe environment
Our Silversurfers community is designed to foster friendships, based on trust, honesty, integrity and loyalty and is underpinned by these values.
We don't tolerate swearing, and reserve the right to remove any posts which we feel may offend others... let's keep it friendly!
Your plans for a 'family home in the sun', accessible to your UK based children & grandchildren, sounds good to me. It's the quality of the time spent with them not the the length or frequency that matters.
As they get older perhaps they will have similar interests and could learn how to play golf or appreciate a trip to F1.
Good luck.