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Love - what on earth is it?

I have to hold up my hand and admit to never having found love, and I have certainly never been 'in love' so I'm perhaps not best placed to make judgements on something so subjective. I had a number of 'lusty' relationships in the distant past, and more than one partner uttered the words, 'I love you' but I didn't ever feel the need to reciprocate. Are lusty, physical relationships the same as 'love' I wonder, and can we live happy productive lives without ever feeling the need for love?


Created By on 05/06/2016

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[deleted]
5th Jun 2016 16:41:31
3
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[deleted]
Response from syldee555 made on 7th Jun 2016 17:07:01
you have a lot to learn my lad
Hateehc
15th Oct 2016 01:11:25
0
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There is love, I have been in Love twice, problem is, its rarely 50/50. Those I have loved didn't love me the same and those who have loved me a lot I have never felt the same love for them... What a confusing thing love is... However what I wished for is that the 2 people I loved found happiness, when it was over I felt no animosity, very sad for a while, but I wanted them to be happy... Love is a funny thing.
Bria
22nd Jul 2016 19:34:24 (Last activity: 13th Oct 2016 11:45:10)
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Ohh how i wish love would come knocking! only hope i have not left it too late to try again ,being loved and given love gives us all a reason in life... its the most special bond two people can have .
Response from Sunseeker1 made on 25th Jul 2016 22:25:04
It's never too late, my late wife had an aunt who got married and she was almost 90. I do think love changes as you get older and companionship becomes more important than the physical side of a relationship.
Response from beneDictus made on 13th Oct 2016 11:45:10
That`s absolutely true. Genuine feelings of affection between two people tend to mature with age. There is this factor of realism which comes into it, although it would be next to impossible to determine exactly when that occurs. It would be quite different for every couple, i can only suppose. And, for those who truly believe in love, but experience difficulty in actually finding it...i would encourage them never to give up, but keep looking. You will just know if and when you really find it.
Littlegpd
3rd Jul 2016 07:32:51 (Last activity: 27th Jul 2016 20:01:53)
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I am in the same place as you, what is Love, I discovered that that we don't if you're in love or not, your body decides it for you. It's instinctive, subconscious. It really is chemistry, take Prive Charles and Camila, the love affair went on for years, even though they tried somewhat to deny it, and he married Diana, it was doomed to failure, his connection to Camila and vis versa could not be ignored. I've been married twice and never found that level of deep love, I guess some of us just never our other half and find true Love, the kind that lasts a life time, I'm 66 now but still live in hope. I've learnt to live without Love.
Response from celtwitch Original Poster made on 27th Jul 2016 20:01:53
I think that 'Prive' Charles, as you call him, was unable to cope with a beautiful woman and so slunk off to the homely Camilla. Diana was often called 'the most beautiful woman in the world' but, I doubt that wingnut ever saw her as such.
He's not exactly an oil painting himself and neither is Camilla. 'Birds of a feather' as they say.
BMWillie
10th Jun 2016 11:28:37
1
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Love is not subjective it is objective, when the object of your thoughts are focused on making your partner as happy, feeling loved, as valued, as they make you feel, then you are in love with that person.
"If you want to know where your heart is, follow your mind and see where it wanders to"
jeanmark
9th Jun 2016 14:56:38
0
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You are right in stating the word is subjective but I feel sad if you have never felt or known love. To me love is about being with a person who makes you happy in a way nobody else can and that lasts through good times and bad.
syldee555
7th Jun 2016 15:10:30 (Last activity: 9th Jun 2016 07:11:20)
1
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Love is the most powerful thing in the world ..Hope you find it soon
Response from georgesmum made on 7th Jun 2016 16:51:31
Lovely post syldee555........ It would be nice if she found it!
I found it several times in my life but alas I don't seem to be able to hang onto it.....very careless of me, never mind eh!
Response from syldee555 made on 7th Jun 2016 17:04:52
you never know whats round the corner ..good luck
Response from georgesmum made on 7th Jun 2016 17:27:39
I've had my fair share of "love" so I'm not looking for it now but it would be lovely if the originator of this thread could find it....but maybe she isn't searching either!
But I agree with you...it certainly makes the world a little bit more exciting!
Response from celtwitch Original Poster made on 8th Jun 2016 09:17:02
I'm not looking for love now and I don't think I ever was, perhaps I'm just a simple soul who can survive quite happily without 'committing' to another human being?
I have had the occasional 'fling' since my divorce 20 years ago, usually on holiday and it was fun. I would love to be able to tell you that my holiday romances were with 7ft tall, blond Swedish men, but sadly they were mostly 5' 6'' with nostril hair, wearing football shirts and hailing from such exotic places like Accrington, Luton, or Heckmondwike.
I think that Cupid thinks that I'm undeserving of ever finding my Mr Right, and at 68 I doubt that I ever will.
Response from georgesmum made on 8th Jun 2016 15:25:05
I think you're right there..... not everyone needs a "Mr or Ms Right" in their lives to survive and have a happy ever after!
There you are......another conversation topic......" What would be your happy ever after?"
Response from Recycledteenager36 made on 9th Jun 2016 07:11:20
I believe different people have a different definition of love. Though I have to admit I prefer on my own bit no one to hassle me if I need to slob out or if I sit up late watching mind numbing TV to help me sleep. Not looking not wanting but good luck to others tha have found it and enjoyed it
supersarah
6th Jun 2016 14:21:35
1
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the more I read your posts the more I wonder where have you been all your life ?
can't believe you have never been loved. it's nothing to do with lusty relationships

must admit I wonder if you are not 'winding up' the readers of your posts just to get attention. :-)) I'm fascinated..... but also wonder why you don't reply to my
mail. ? the mind boggles.
Recycledteenager36
6th Jun 2016 05:56:43
1
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Hi Celtwitch
I too have never been 'in love' but does it matter, treating people with respect and enjoying who they are is far more realistic as the flame they call love can die very quickly when he is sitting on the bed cutting his toenails.. Seriously relationships can be hard living with another is never easy making adjustments and excepting a loss of freedom is never easy. Do we get wiser as we get older I don't honestly know. To all those out there who have experienced true love may it always survive and may it grow and expand.
bob42
5th Jun 2016 20:13:17
0
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I think a lusty relationship can work quite well without love, but that's all it is - no lust, then no relationship. Real love can withstand all sorts of physical and emotional comings and goings and survive indefinitely. Maybe you have had love but thought it was something else. Anyway, good luck with it - it does as they say 'make the world go round.'
georgesmum
5th Jun 2016 17:17:09
1
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The experts say we all need "love" in our lives but it depends what each of us determines as love. I love my son and grandsons, I love my dog.........I could go on. Having been married twice I think I was in love with each of my husbands but that love didn't sustain.
I think the term "love" is what we want it to be at a given time in our lives....... Oh dear a bit profound for a Sunday afternoon!

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