An abundance of silliness- everyone should have a moment of silliness.
Watch this postMy silly Limerick.
An oddly eccentric young Pangolin
Whose favourite pastime was danglin'
And for hours he swung
With his sixteen inch tongue
While strumming away on his mandolin.
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Close the curtains to within an inch
The door needs locking
When people come knocking
But they know that I am a Grinch.
Went to live in tropical Uganda
He began to feel hot
So he found a nice spot
In an ice tub on the verandah
Seemed to grow exceedingly fat
He ate fifty field mices
With hot chilli spices
Then exploded while he sat on the mat.
Nice to keep my funny bone and brain well oiled.
I wonder where all the other limerick writers are hiding?
Took off while looking a bit green
He ascended at high speed
That they put down to his greed
Over his over consumption of beans
I fed some to my pet parrot
He thanked me politely
While his feathers turned slightly
From green to a bright pomegranate
Autumn.
Autumn is here, the leaves have turned brown
They're falling and blowing all over the town
Here in the park a carpet they make
Along comes a man with a broom and a rake
He gathers them up and sets them ablaze
The smoke from the fire spreads out a blue haze.
A flat footed Sasquatch called Big
Who walked with a kind of a jig
After shaving his hair
He looked quite debonair
When he wore his fetching blonde wig.
to a rather large marmalade cat
“My goodness Miss Milly
I know it sounds silly “
But you’ve grown exceedingly fat.
MOW.
Decided on making a stew
A passing explorer
And his buxom wife Norah
Both ended up in the pot too.
Tried calling the tinnitus helpline, no answer, just kept ringing
I have a fear of over-engineered buildings, it’s a complex complex complex
Never trust a train, they have loco motives.
I looked up opaque, the definition wasn’t very
clear
I ate a frozen apple, hard core!
Cooked for hours until he was done
His luminous red glow
Was alarming I know
Except for his lily- white bum
Old Martha was fond of the gin
Tho’ the vicar said it was a sin
One day late at night
The vicar had a fright
When he found her head-first in a bin
“Dear Martha” he said anxiously
Why don’t you come home with me?
I’ll sober you up
With a really nice cup
Of my favourite Darjeeling tea.”
Old Martha opened one eye
And gave out a boozy sigh
“All right your honour
I was nearly a goner
I could do with really nice pie”
“But of course“ said the vicar
“If you stay off the liquor
I’ll make you a really nice stew
With a bath and a bed for two”
“Oh no dear vicar, but what of your ticker?
It would all be too much for you.”
No one will ever hold a torch to my dad.
Because the smell from is bum is so bad.
Whilst his emission of foul gasses.
May well be a turn off to the lasses.
It makes him feel like one of the lads.
learned to play the didgeredoo
Drove his family insane
But he wouldn’t abstain
So they sent him to live in the zoo
A silver-haired lady from Crew
Accidentally swallowed some glue
But try as she might
Her buttocks stayed tight
Not even a fart got through
Took his mother’s cookery book
His unusual dishes
Included small fishes
Who were still attached to a hook.
A bright young sparky called Crocket
Stuck his finger into a light socket
With a blood-curdling cry
He jumped twelve feet high
Then took off down the road like a rocket.
I have one that always comes to mind...
There was an old man from Dundee
Who stood on a cliff to do a wee
The silly fool farted
Before he had started
And blew himself into the sea.
Many years ago I was volunteering at my daughter's school in a class of 9-year-olds, and limericks were the topic of the week - not sure if I should have shared this one but to this day, I know a 31-year-old who still remembers mine! 😀