Grand-parenting

Since moving in with my daughter and her family- the most difficult adjustment is the boundaries that are both clear and unclear - do I just let things go by if discipline is indicated or even if the kids are clearly out of control or do I just grin a bear it? I love my daughter and family intensely but her and my son in law give me mixed messages re my role with the kids. I am doing better but all my years of being a practising psychologist get thrown out the window when this ambiguity exists. I shall prevail lol.

I have six grandchildren who no longer live at home with their parents and I very rarely receive a Thank You. It is so easy these days. They could easily pick up the telephone or send an email. I feel like just sending a card. Do other grandparents always receive a Thank You?

It would be good to communicate with others who have children and grandchildren in Australia. Anyone there?

I was born in 1952 and although Autism and ADHD has been around forever it was never labelled in my day. People just said those children were NAUGHTY. ...So I now have a grandson who has been diagnosed with Autism and ADHD and my granddaughter is in the long process of being assessed. I also have come to believe my daughter, their mother has Autism as well. I have got too much history to write down here but my life got so bad I felt like I didn't have one, that my daughter owned it. I couldn't handle that life anymore I needed to distance myself from her. And so I moved away. Now I have to live without my grandchildren and my daughter as I gave up my tenancy. I'm with my partner and we are happy together but there is a huge void in my life without my little family. I am not without fault and I'm sure I'm on the spectrum somewhere and that's possibly why I up and left because I couldn't stand it anymore...

Lots of us are missing our grandchildren especially if you contribute to their care However, there is another side to this - our usually working sons and daughters have a newfound respect for us and would rather be at work Possibly a generalisation but my daughter now realises that my 10 years at home was not the easy option but following in my own Mother's footsteps it was the right thing to do for our family.

Just had two grandkids to stay for a few days while their parents were away and it was like drawing teeth getting any conversation! The younger one was happy to play a board game with me and wanted to Netflix a series of films but the 15 yr old was glued to her phone and mostly in her bedroom. Any tips - I want a good relationship with her but she was hard work?

My family does not live close by so I talk to the grandchildren via iPad. We get together whenever we can,and the grandchildren are excited and so am I when a visit is imminent. I make each visit fun and there are games to be played -dressing up to be done -books to be read-cakes to be made. I absolutely adore the fun times, is there anyone else out there like me a big child at 💓. I think that childhood is short lived and time as the fun grandma can be over so quickly as the children grow up into teenagers. My plan is to love every moment and give them memories of fun and happy times, and when I am past my best the children will have happy memories of time spent at grandmas.

I posted on this last year, commenting on the fact that my adult grandchildren very rarely say thank you when I send them a cheque for £20 on their birthday and Christmas. I decided this year just to send them Christmas cards, with the exception of one of them who is at University and not earning. This one has never said "Thank You". As soon as she is earning I will stop sending her a cheque. I feel a mean old bag but it adds up to lot of money. These days it need not cost them anything or very little. A text or phone call would have been enough. What do other grandparents think?

Hi fellow Silver Surfers ! I am new here and would like to introduce both myself and my interests ! I am 64 years old and a retired financial adviser (circa 30 years!) I now spend my free time restoring Silver Cross vintage prams. I particularly love the twin prams. It all started with the arrival of my first grandchild some 10 years ago. I was shocked by the both the price of the current models available and the quality. They are just not the same as they once were ! Upon investigation, I discovered that the Silver Cross went out of business in the 1980's. Different manufacturers have bought the right to continue with a limited range but try hard to move away from the "built to last" approach...like so many other products. If you have pram that you are want to re home or have restored, then please contact me as I would love to hear from you, particularly if you have a hardbodied twin pram

One of my children has completely cut me off because I do not fit into her (and her siblings) definition of family - in that I am not part of their daily lives. She has even gone so far as to stop me meeting my new grandson. This caused me to give serious consideration of what "family" means these days but also to the concept of grand-parenting. Following discussions with my other two children, my own siblings and friends - I recognised that I did / do not fit into the traditional role of a grand-parent that my parents and a number of my friends fit into. While I love my children and grand-children dearly I cannot imagine fitting into the traditional on-call role of a grand-parent - I am not looking forward to retiring and spending as much time with them as I can; I am not looking forward to being an on-call babysitter / child minder; I am not looking forward to dropping around everyday for a cup of tea; and I really don't want to move back to England, having lived in the sunshine for so many years, to perform that role. Could I do it in order to become part of the "family" and spend time with my family? Yes I could but I would be utterly miserable! I have been travelling the world for 50 years and I cannot imagine stopping. Does this make me a bad person / grand-parent? I want to spend more time with my children / grand-children than I have in recent years but I also want to live! Should I sacrifice my own happiness to fit into the traditional role? I should say at this time that I am single, a huge motor racing and sports fan (an F1 / motor racing marshal); love golf and travel; and had always imagined my retirement to include visiting all of the global F1 events; playing golf (getting my handicap down); visiting all of the major opera houses and wine regions of the world; and as many major sporting events as I can. Does that make me a selfish b*****d? What I would like to do - because my family do figure prominently in my retirement thoughts - is settle in the South of France, near an airport within short / cheap flying distance of the UK, and to create a base for my children and grand-children to spend their holidays with me. I can then drive to many of the places I have n't seen, playing golf en route, but also have a means of getting back to the UK quickly if my children need me to cover for them or to provide support. There's my story but would love to know what this community thinks - are you traditional grand-parents or are you modern (selfish?) grand-parents? Oh - and do you spell grand-parents / grandparents with or without the hyphen???? In my defence, I am following the subject lead. :D