What’s Going On ‘Ear

What’s Going On ‘Ear

I’m going to have a hearing test, I can have it done for free
There’s a chance I have some hearing loss, but don’t know to what degree

Deafness can be age related, so perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised
There’s research and stats that back this up, something I didn’t realise.

My husband says he has told me things, but of course this I deny
I swear I’ve never heard him, well, come on, really, would I lie

I have trouble with the telly, I turn it up, I turn it down
“Can’t you just leave it where it is”, he mumbles with a frown

Surely it can’t be my fault, that I don’t clearly hear what’s said
Is the standard of diction getting worse, or is it really me instead

The radio annoys me, most presenters just shout and screech
I always thought they trained them to be clearer with their speech

Friends tell me this and tell me that, my response is “what did you say”
I see their lips are moving, but the sound has gone astray

I try quite hard to listen, but when it’s clear that I’ve misheard
I blame it on the background noise, which of course is quite absurd

Sometimes I ask my colleagues to repeat things that they’ve said
But by the time I’ve cottoned on, I’ve already lost the thread.

I go swimming for some exercise, and I’m sure my ears aren’t clogged
But it would be an explanation if they were completely water logged

On occasion I ask phone callers to please repeat what they have said
But when I’m on the third request, the phone line suddenly goes dead

If I don’t hear what people say because they’ve spoken really fast
I politely smile and giggle and hope a question wasn’t asked

I could have excess wax of course, but that might be over optimistic
But it would mean that I wouldn’t become another age related statistic

What do you do if your hearing waves are warped and out of sync
Should I concentrate on lip reading, and just hope that I don’t blink

I often tell my husband “please speak up and stop your mumbling”
But he insists it’s me, not him, and that just starts me grumbling

So maybe I should listen to what my own ears are telling me
And the sooner I get tested, then the clearer things will be

If my test proves I have hearing loss, be it mild, moderate or severe
I might be looking for a hearing aid to dangle on my ear

I haven’t got great eyesight, and I wear glasses to help me see
So I don’t think that a hearing aid should really bother me

My appointment is all sorted, so best ear forward, I am prepared
But I’d like to ‘hear’ the Audiologist say, “madam, your hearing’s not impaired”

© Karen Stoker – 1st March 2016