The Bargain Hunt

The Bargain Hunt

I fancied bargain hunting, so I went to the sales
I pushed and shoved with the best of them, as we grabbed things off the rails
But when I got to the changing rooms, the joy began to pall –
As every lovely bargain was at least one size too small…

So next, I tried on loads of shoes, of the type I’d never wear
I found one single shoe I liked but couldn’t make a pair…

I moved to another department, with everything for the home
I thought there must be something there I really HAD to own
I wandered round and round and sixty minutes fluttered by –
Spent picking up and putting down, breathing many a sigh…

By then, I was getting desperate, so I bought a few cheap bits
Some tea towels adorned with scenic prints, plus some matching oven mitts…

I also bought some vases, (which I doubt I’ll ever use)
But as they were buy-one-get-one free, I thought, what have I got to lose?
I’d now been out for hours and I’d hardly bought a thing –
So I called into a pub near by and had a double gin…

Revived, I made the effort to find my bargain buy
So I went into another shop, but later left it wondering, why…

Ok, I’d bought some items and  yes, I’d spent some money
But if you’d seen the rubbish I’d bought- well, it’s more tragic than it’s funny,
By now I was really fed up and I’d bought a load of trash –
I was was tired, cold and hungry and I’d spent up all my cash…

But now, I’m home and warm again, with a lovely cup of tea
So I think I’ll stick to ‘Bargain Hunt’ on BBC TV!