Tandemonium

Tandemonium

A summer day that started,
Quite simply – rather well
Yet sad to say it landed
Us in a tandem hell.

The framework shone and glistened,
Those saddles truly gleamed.
Our hearts skipped with excitement
As of cycling we both dreamed.

We hired the bike together –
It was a handsome beast;
We’d whizz around the cycle paths
North, south-west then east!

Travelling on the flat paths,
It was so smooth a speed.
Our pedals turned in unison –
Upon that we both agreed.

We worked so well in tandem
On our lovely bike,
But we had a tandem tantrum
When we hit that pesky trike.

It headed straight towards us
An unwavering hell-bent line
We tried to cycle out of its way –
But we just didn’t have the time.

You went whizzing off one way
And I tried to go another
We both fell off into a heap
On top of one another

It ploughed right in-between us
It’s rider seemed hell-bent
We picked ourselves up off the ground
Our clothing torn and rent.

I declared that it was your fault,
Yet you shouted it was mine.
You said I hadn’t pedalled,
Yet you never pushed from behind!

Our tandem was quite ruined,
The trike still tall and proud,
It’s rider rolled off down the lane
Whilst we watched the gathering crowd.

They helped pull out the pedals
From where they shouldn’t be
Plus two sets of handlebars
Wrapped round both our knees.

The moral of this story,
Should you ever ask,
Never ride a tandem
They’re a pain in the …… bottom!