My Bucket List

My Bucket List

I shouldn’t have put it on my bucket list
A motorbike ride was what I had missed
So I called a friend, known as “Biker Mike”
Just to see what a motorbike ride was like

At first, I was scared ‘cos I prefer to go slow
Trying not to let my nervousness show
“Jump on” he said with a nod of his head
I climbed on the pillion with utter dread

“You won’t go too fast, will you” I said
He grinned at me and then off we sped
With my sphincter very tightly clenched
I hung on for dear life, jaw firmly tensed

The wind howled as my face became frigid
I couldn’t speak, my lips had turned rigid
As we rode on, I felt sure he was speeding
His speedo at forty was surely misleading

My watering eyes could barely make out
The world whizzing by as we rode flat out
Thankfully the journey came to an end
My knees were locked in a permanent bend

Kindly Mike dragged me off the pillion
And stood me up, he is one in a million
“Hot soup or coffee will soon put you right”
He laughingly said to this sorry old sight

Now nicely thawed out and on stable ground
I may try again when summer comes around
Well, the bucket list is now in the bin
Desire’s all gone for a cold motorbike spin.