I do not do gym!

I do not do gym!

C’mon girl, pull your socks up!
And keep your eye upon the ball!
Yells a Hitler like gym mistress
who has no empathy at all.

I’m a thinker, not a doer
not all physical and dim,
how many times do I have to say
“I’m sorry, I don’t do gym!

Send me into English,
let me read some Keats or Browning.
If you insist on a rounders match,
I’m not fielding mate I’m drowning!

I’ll do double History,
timelines are not too grim,
but please will you just listen,
I’ve said I don’t do gym!

You know that when they pick the teams
I’m always odd one out,
I’m getting very desperate now!
Please don’t make me shout!

If you make me try to vault that horse,
my eyes are going to brim,
I’m begging you I’m pleading now please listen,
I don’t do gym!

It’s not good to hear this
teammates cheering one another
whilst I’ve regressed to a 5 yr old
crying for my mother!

I know you say just buckle down
and take it on the chin,
but believe me I can’t do that,
I KNOW I can’t do gym!

And now I know how Boney felt
when he met his Waterloo,
I know my limitations,
I know what I CAN’T do!

I can’t run the 100 metres
and follow with a swim!
So hear me now I’m desperate,
I  DO  NOT  DO  GYM!!

Now years have passed and in that time I’ve swum against the tide
my classmates have all run to fat with backsides broad as wide
whilst I the butt of classroom jokes am still pretty fit and trim…
So stuff that in your medicine ball and waddle to your gym !!!