Diary of a self-isolator – week 68

A light-hearted look at a few memories and the situation over the last seven days in our house.

Sunday 27/06/2021 – Day 465

A bit of a strange day yesterday. It started off with light rain and very grey skies, so I intended to spend the day in the Repair shop catching up on some projects I was doing, (in reality, it was work that Mrs H had sneaked in there)  But one phone call changed all that. By 12.30 we were ferrying some of the family to the local paintballing centre a couple of miles away as the sun also finally made an appearance.  Paint balling for the great uninitiated is basically getting dressed up in camouflage overalls, being presented with a gun that fires paint balls and being let loose in the woods to fire at your enemies, i.e. the rest of your family. When said family is found, you then let loose with a bombardment of paint bombs which -depending on which part of the body they are distributed – can cause bruising. Not the sort of pastime for old uns like Mrs H and I.

This was Hatton’s idea of a birthday treat for himself and his friends, but his Mum Gemma, wanted to be a ‘cool mum’, which of course meant that she had to join in the fun and games. We were told later that she hid in a bush for the duration and came back with the overalls cleaner than when she had put them on.

While all this was going on, Mrs H and I went off to a couple of nearby garden centres, that just happened to serve a nice hot lunch. This was followed by a continuous wiping of hands with gel, and a good look around the plants. So, while Gemma was hiding in bushes in an attempt to escape her bruises and blushes, I had my own lucky escape, and only spent £25. Result!

We arrived home in time to watch a very brave Wales side get thumped by Denmark. Wales are now on their way home and our commiserations to them. Whilst supping a couple of Banks’s best bitter I also watched the 20/20 cricket with England v Sri Lanka. Bit of a no contest really as England were already leading 2 – 0, they thrashed the visitors again making it a 3 -0 victory.

It is fifty-four years ago  since a transformation in the way people obtained and used cash happened, the world’s first ATM was turned into gold for celebrations of its fiftieth anniversary. The brainchild of Scottish inventor Shepherd-Barron, the first ATM (automated teller machine) was opened on June 27, 1967, at a branch of Barclays bank in Enfield, north London, the first of six cash dispensers commissioned by the bank. English actor Reg Varney who starred in the British TV comedy show “On The Buses”, was the first person to withdraw cash from the new machine.

The Queen showed her true courage and great strength on this day in 2012 when ‘The Belfast Handshake’ took place, the first historic encounter between the Queen and the former IRA commander, Sinn Féin’s Martin McGuinness, who went on to become Northern Ireland’s deputy first minister. (Prince Philip’s uncle, Lord Mountbatten, the Queen’s second cousin, was assassinated by the IRA who blew up his fishing boat in County Sligo in 1979.)

Today in 2014 Health and Safety showed its true ridiculous colours when Staff at Dartmoor prison had offered sun cream to inmates who had managed to climb on to a rooftop during sunny weather the previous week, the Ministry of Justice confirmed. They said that the offer of sun cream was a standard procedure, as part of the jail’s ‘duty of care’ that was in line with health and safety rules. It’s a wonder they didn’t send them cold beers , should they get a dry throat.

And final on this day in 2014 The mummified body of Anne Leitrim, who was in her 70s, was discovered in her flat in Bournemouth, where she had lain undiscovered for six years. Her remains were finally found when bailiffs visited the property to collect unpaid debts. How could that possibly happen in a so-called ‘civilised society?’.

There were 14,562 new cases reported today with 11 deaths registered.

Monday 28/06/2021 – Day 466

Welcome to the great British Summer, it is raining cats and dogs outside, the good news is that I have finally fixed that infernal leak on the Garden room. It’s took three months and a lot of patience, but it seems that it’s finally sorted.

I spent most of the day in the Repair shop yesterday, I was working on Mrs H’s latest Pinocchio list which – like his nose – grows daily.

I was washing my hands this morning when I began to remember the soaps from when I was a mere youngster. No, not Crossroads or Coronation street, but the soaps we used to wash with back then. I have to admit that I only use soap once a day, mostly in the mornings. Other times we have liquid hand soaps and gels, I wouldn’t dream of washing myself in the shower with anything else but shower gel’

But it seems that good old-fashioned soap is making a comeback on the supermarket shelves. Barred soap sales are now growing faster than both liquid soaps and shower products, with almost 70 million pounds of sales in the last year in the UK alone. Today’s best seller by far is the popular Dove soap. Not much to look at, just a white bar of soap. But consumers like the shape and smell of it, which leads to record sales.

It’s a far cry from the horrible green carbolic soap I used as a child and usually had to wrestle from my brother’s grip, as we were forced to bathe together to save hot water.

There were of course some lovely soaps available back then. Soaps like Knight’s Castile, Palmolive, Lifebuoy, Camay, Lux, Bristows lanolin toilet soap. Lux, Cadum pink, Sunlight, Wright’s Coal Tar soap, Pears, Imperial leather, Shield and Zest. How many of those ring a bell with you?

I had a friend as a child who used to hide his money under the soap as none of his family ever used it.

On this day in 1914 Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria and his wife Sophie were killed by a Bosnian Serb nationalist during an official visit to the Bosnian capital of Sarajevo. The killings sparked a chain of events that led to the outbreak of World War I. Then in 1919 exactly five years to the day after Franz Ferdinand’s death, Germany and the Allied Powers signed the Treaty of Versailles, officially marking the end of World War I. Although the armistice, signed on 11th November 1918, ended the actual fighting, it took six months of negotiations at the Paris Peace Conference to conclude the peace treaty.

Also on this day in 2015 The broadcast of the final episode of Top Gear with presenters Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May. Clarkson’s contract was not renewed earlier in the year after an ‘unprovoked physical attack’ on producer, Oisin Tymon at a hotel in North Yorkshire in March 2015. His co-hosts refused to present future shows without him.

A dramatic rise in new cases was recorded today when they rose to 22,628, the highest figure for almost six months. Thankfully, registered deaths don’t seem to be following the trend, there were 3 today.

Tuesday 29/06/2021 – Day 467

It’s a grey old day here in Kidderminster and Shefali informs us that there will be no sign of the sun all week, so we have some hope.

Off to B in a Q today. Mrs H is desperate for a bag of compost. This is because that lovely delicate lady is wonderful in the garden. We keep buying more plants and she keeps finding more places to place some more. I have to say that the garden is looking resplendent with a host of colourful roses and shrubs.

Whilst it was raining yesterday, I refurbished a nest of tables and a wrought iron plantstand. Oh and I gained a few extra brownie points from Mrs H.

My task today is to pick up a new sealed double 1927 glazed unit from near to B & Q, one of our units frosted over some time ago and now we can hardly see through it. So a week ago I measured it and it was 34” x 18”, I thought it was going to cost an arm and a leg. But when I rang yesterday the glazier said it was just £25, that is a good price.

I’ve had to temporarily stop sucking on my favourite Butter mints. The reason for this is that I desperately need to lose weight. I weighed myself on Sunday and I had put on over six pounds. I had realised that my T shirts were getting a bit tight but fobbed it off. But when I saw the pictures of Father’s day that clinched it. So my aim is to get under 12 stone in four weeks. This means cutting out all cakes, biscuits, and my beloved Butter mints, will this suffice? – watch this space.

Mrs H and I were having a heated debate about something and I bravely said

“How can you be so beautiful and stupid at the same time?”

Mrs H replied without looking up.

“God made me beautiful so you’d be attracted to me, he made me stupid so I’d be attracted to you.”

Today in 1801 Britain held its first population census – producing a population figure of 8,800,000. I’ll bet everyone knew each other.

Also today in 1927 For the first time in 200 years, a total eclipse of the sun was seen in Britain. Those at Giggleswick in Yorkshire were able to see a perfect, full eclipse which lasted for less than 1/2 minute

On this day in 2010 The England football team returned home after being knocked out of the second round of the World Cup by Germany. England ultimately lost 4-1, suffering their worst defeat to date in a World Cup finals match. (In 2014 England were eliminated at the group stage of the FIFA World Cup for the first time since 1958, with just two goals scored. It was their worst goal tally since 1950 and the worst World Cup showing in the history of the national team.)

I have to say that if you’re not a lover of Sport then your weeks ahead are going to be dire. Yesterday, the BBC who are always in touch with their viewers hah! Decided to treat us to Wimbledon on both BBC 1 and BBC 2. Meanwhile on ITV there was football – all night, till turned ten o clock when the news finally came on, followed by – yes you’ve guessed it – football highlights! I bet you wish you’d invested in Now Tv or Netflix now don’t you?

Having said that, Mrs H and I have just binge watched the excellent drama called ‘Time’, starring Sean Bean (Sharpe),. A moral tale that really is well worth a watch.

Once again new cases came in at 20,325, but registered deaths rose to 23.

Wednesday 29/06/2021 – Day 468

Another grey overcast day, but at least it’s going to be a dry day, having said that, we haven’t had much rain for a few days now.

I always hated Wednesday as a child, it was the day when all the shops shut  at lunchtime for half day, and everywhere became like a ghost town. There were no exceptions, every shop in the town closed its doors at 1.00pm. You came out of school and there was nowhere to buy sweets should you be lucky enough to have any money. We would always hang around the shop during the day. The large canopy which stretched about nine feet out above the window kept us shaded from the hot summer sun, and in the winter kept us all dry. Besides there was always the odd shopper who would want help carrying those spuds or groceries home.

It was like the whole world had closed down. The normally busy area was as quiet as a mouse. The  only good thing about Wednesdays was the fact that my mum always made bread pudding on that day. I have no idea why it was always a Wednesday, perhaps because after the mayhem of washing on a Monday and ironing on a Tuesday a Wednesday was the first quiet day of the week. I don’t suppose for one minute that it was because my Auntie called every Wednesday afternoon for a couple of hours, and the smell of that pudding wafting down the entry masked a host of other unwanted smells, like the stew that would be simmering all day Monday. That stew soaked into the plaster on the walls and lingered for a few days. But by the time she had left all that remained was a cloud of used cigarette smoke on the ceiling

My old friend from the Shetlands, Angus McCoteup told me that he once went to study at an English university and was living in the hall of residence, with all the other students there.

After he had been there a month, his mother came to visit him.

“And how do you find the English students, Donald?” she asked.

“Mother,” he replied, “they’re such terrible, noisy people. The one on that side keeps banging his head on the wall and won’t stop. The one on the other side screams and screams all night.”

“Oh Donald! How do you manage to put up with these awful noisy English neighbours?”

“Mother, I do nothing. I just ignore them… I carry on quietly, playing my bagpipes.”

Today in 1937 The world’s first emergency telephone number, 999, was introduced in London. 999 was chosen was because it could be dialled on the old rotary dial telephones by placing a finger against the dial stop and rotating the dial to the full extent three times, even in the dark or in dense smoke. This enabled all users, including the visually impaired, to easily dial the emergency number.

1956 ‘I’m Walking Backwards For Christmas’, written and performed by arch-Goon Spike Milligan, entered the British singles chart ….. six months after Christmas.

1957 The British Egg Marketing Board stamped a crowned lion on British eggs as a sign of freshness. In the first week 80% of all eggs sold carried the stamp.

1960 The London production of the stage musical Oliver opened in the West End. I personally loved the black and white version in 1946 with  John Howard Davies  cast as Oliver, while Alec Guinness portrayed Fagin and Robert Newton played Bill Sykes (Bill Sikes in the novel). A young Anthony Newley also starred as the Artful Dodger.

But I have to say that the musical version in 1968 starring Ron Moody as Fagin, Oliver Reed as a brilliant Bill Sykes, Harry Secombe as a resplendent Mr Bumble and Mark Lester (Oliver), Shani Wallis (Nancy) and Jack Wild as The Artful Dodger.

But the biggest star of both versions for me was that supergrass Bullseye.

Another dramatic increase in new cases today, up by 6,000 on yesterday’s figure at 26,068 the highest since mid-January. Registered deaths were 14.

Thursday 01/07/2021 – Day 469

White Rabbits, white rabbits, white rabbits, right, that’s out of the way, another overcast cloudy grey day here in Kidderminster. Having said that, it’s certainly not cold and the afternoons and into the evenings have been very pleasant.

Today my retirement is official. I officially finished working for Screwfix last night at 12.00 midnight. I am going to miss them all. I made some wonderful friends while I was working there and it was a great company to work for. But what will I do with myself now? Hah, Mrs H and my lovely children will all make sure I’m not idle. It’s said that idle hands are the devil’s workshop, an old saying dating at least as far back as Chaucer in the twelfth century who called idle hands the devil’s tools. … IDLE HANDS ARE THE DEVIL’S TOOLS – “Idleness is the root of mischief. the devil finds work for idle hands, I see now that my family are just trying to keep me from harm – I think.

Talking of idle hands, Mrs H and I had a very busy day yesterday, We started by tidying up the front garden, I got scratched everywhere when the delicate Mrs H  (who is afraid of heights and ladders) asked me to ‘tidy’ up the rambling rose around our  front porch. She wanted me to dead head the beautiful red roses and tie up those that were hanging over. She stood demurely at the foot of the ladder – making sure I didn’t come to any harm – listening to the oohs, aahss, ouches and profanity as I did her bidding.

I survived enough to continue around the side of the house where I trimmed the privet hedge, I swear, I could see that bloomin hedge growing from the kitchen window! The hedge between me and my neighbour also needs trimming again, I only did it two weeks ago.

I read with dismay this morning that the so called ‘football fans’ were posting terrible remarks about the England v Germany match on Tuesday. It was bad enough when the idiots booed all the way through the German National anthem, but when the second goal was scored the cameras zoomed in on a little German girl sobbing into her dad’s arm. The resulting comments by the moronic English imbeciles on Social media made me ashamed to say that I was British. I know for certain that this would never have happened at a Rugby match or at a Cricket Match. We have bred an army of uncouth yobs.

Today in 1916 World War I: Almost 20,000 British soldiers were killed and a further 57,500 were injured on the first day of the Battle of the Somme. It was the greatest number of British casualties in a single day’s fighting in modern history. British casualties on day one were greater than the total combined British casualties in the Crimean, Boer, and Korean wars.

Today in 1961 Diana, the Princess of Wales, was born. She should have been celebrating her 60^th birthday. Sadly missed, you have to wonder what good deeds she would have done by now.

And finally on this day in 2015 the death (aged 106) of Sir Nicholas George Winton MBE. He was a British humanitarian who organized the rescue of 669 children, most of them Jewish, from Nazi-occupied Czechoslovakia during the 9 months before war broke out in 1939. The operation was later known as the Czech Kindertransport.

New cases rose by 1800 today, the total was 27850, registered deaths also rose to 22.

Friday 02/07/2021 – Day 470

The weather’s a bit better today, bits of blue peeping out from big balls of fluffy cotton wool.

Mrs H is anxiously awaiting our Tesco home delivery. Although our delivery slot is actually 11.00 am to 12.00 midday they have varied from 10.00 to 12.00 o’clock. Last week they turned up at 9.45 and Mrs H was still in her dressing gown.

I had to get up early to clear out the space beneath the stairs. We have just changed our gas and electricity over to Octopus energy after we were being ripped off by our previous company. Our new company are sending a chap today to fit smart meters. We have no idea what time so I got up early to clear everything and give the poor chap a head start.

It used to be a pantry with access from the kitchen, but a few years back I blocked the doorway up and put a new access in from the hallway. It then became like everyone else’s cupboard under the stairs – a dumping ground.

So one day in the deep mid-winter I took everything out and fitted shelving, put in a little table and chair, and turned it into my library. There was still a space at the end where the gas meter lived, so I put double doors on and hid that away. This then became a glory hole, used to keep anything like light bulbs, and basically anything Mrs H didn’t want others to see.

So, I am clearing it out and there’s a backpack picnic set, umpteen pairs of shoes for DIY, Gardening etc, old slippers which were kept just in case. An old metal crutch which we always meant to return to the hospital – 24 years ago, and a massive black boot which I was forced to wear when I broke my big toe last year. These all came along with resident spiders and other things which live quite happily in the dark confines of a cupboard.

In fact, it reminded me of my Mum’s glory hole beneath the stairs when I was a child. The poor gas man opened the door to empty the meter and almost passed out. The smell of old shoes was very strong, no-one ever went in there only the gasman. To add insult to injury, the meter would be half full of flattened sterilised milk bottle tops. My dear old mum had got it down to a fine art. She could often be seen with a heavy coal hammer flattening them on the back doorstep. They then fit perfectly and substituted the old shilling piece in the meter when times were hard. Good job the gasman knew her and lived on our state, happy days.

On this day in 1819 The first Factory Act was passed in Britain. This banned the employment of children younger than 9 from working in textile factories, whilst those under 16 were allowed to work for ‘only’ 12 hours a day! It would take another couple of acts and 80 years before the practise of child labour stopped.

On this day in 1865 At a revivalist meeting at Whitechapel, London, William Booth formed the Salvation Army. Early-day Salvationists started wearing uniform as a natural consequence of the ‘army’ adopting a military character. I remember them calling at the pubs on a Saturday night selling the Young Soldier and the War Cry.

2001 Barry George was sentenced to life imprisonment for the murder of television presenter Jill Dando. He was released in 2008 after doubt was cast on the reliability of gunshot residue evidence.

And finally in 2018 British divers, John Volanthen, (an IT consultant based in Bristol) and Rick Stanton, (a former Midlands fire fighter), discovered 12 young Thai footballers and their coach, after nine days trapped in caves in northern Thailand. More than 1,000 people were involved in the global operation. All 13 were rescued after 17 days underground. It was the most challenging underground rescue in history.

Once again new cases were over 27,000 at 27,125, deaths also rose again to 27, it doesn’t bode too well for the 19^th July.

Saturday 03/07/2021 – Day 471

It’s a really wet day here today, it seems to have been raining most of the night and continues this morning, Lake Geneva has made another appearance and walkers precariously walk the narrow strip of tarmac on the path.

I was working in the garden yesterday when Mrs H came to me and said that Sarah and Birdo (her boyfriend, Sarah’s not Mrs H’s) wanted us to join them at the local eatery down the road at 6.30pm, as a sort of thank you for all we’d done. I was really chuffed we don’t get out much these days and I normally have to dust my best clothes off. Then around 5.00pm my other daughter Gemma rang up and asked if she could borrow my decorating kit. I thought this was a bit strange as she hadn’t long returned it to me. Nevertheless I went to the Repair shop and gathered it all up for her. This meant a journey to her house around 6 o clock then we’d have to return home and park the car up as the pub was only a short walk down the road.

At just turned six we pulled up at the rear of Gemma’s house. I got the stuff from the boot; Mrs H was acting sort of strangely and hanging back. I opened the gate and was greeted by a host of party poppers and all my family screaming ‘Happy Retirement dad.’

I had been well and truly duped; they had secretly organised a retirement party for me. It was a very emotional moment and I was slightly overwhelmed. We had a great night with lots of good food from Gemma and far too much Guinness. It was almost midnight when we reluctantly all said goodnight. I love my family to bits.

On this day in1954 The end of food rationing in Britain – almost 9 years after the end of World War II. Smithfield Meat Market in London opened at midnight instead of 6am to cope with the demand for beef.

1969 Brian Jones, a founding member of the British rock group Rolling Stones, drowned in his swimming pool after taking a drug overdose.

There were a further 24885 new cases today bringing the weekly total to 163484         a massive rise of 45,864 on the previous week. The number of registered covid related deaths were 18 bringing the weekly total to 118 a drop of 1 on last week. There were 4,332,181 recoveries a rise of  18,056 on last week’s total.

Well that’s it for another week,  Have a good and blessed week.

Don’t forget if you want to read more of my ramblings or poems just go to www.erhblog.co.uk

It’s been emotional.