Diary of a self-isolator – week 63

A light-hearted look at a few memories and the situation over the last seven days in our house.

Sunday 23/05/2021 – Day 430

People used to say to me that I had no will power, but I’ve quit smoking lots of times.

And a jolly good morning to each and every one of you, it is a funny sort of day here in Kidderminster, the weather can’t seem to make up its mind which way to go, but we are promised rain later this afternoon as yet another storm moves in.

I told you last week that Mrs H and I bought a mattress topper, a few months ago we bought a new mattress after we were both waking with aches and pains. We opted for the orthopaedic very firm mattress as we were always told that to cure a bad back you had to lie on something firm, It was fine at first, but lately we have both been waking with back pain, So, we ordered this new ‘Panda’ mattress topper and I must say, it has made a lot of difference, we are now sleeping through the night and my permanent nagging backache has gone, well worth the money.

Looking forward to popping round to Sarah and Mollie’s later, Mrs H has promised them a Sunday roast and Sarah has requested roast parsnips which I just cannot stand, oh well, to each their own.

Mrs H and myself sat up watching the Eurovision song contest last night, I have to say that it wasn’t really fair on the UK. We certainly didn’t deserve no points at all. This isn’t sour grapes, we just felt really sorry for our singer James Newman. Let’s be honest, his song wouldn’t have won many competitions, but it was a lot better than a lot of the songs which got into double figures thanks to political voting.

That, sadly is all the laughable Eurovision song contest has become, a political vote arena, good old Terry Wogan said as much in the final ten years that he hosted it, it got so embarrassing that he stopped presenting it long before he needed to.

Gone are the glory days when every country had an equal chance. The first Contest was held on 24 May 1956, when seven nations participated. With a live orchestra, the norm in the early years, and simple sing-along songs on every radio station.

The United Kingdom has won the Eurovision Song Contest five times and has finished as runner-up on a record fifteen occasions. The UK has hosted the contest a record eight times, four times in London (1960, 1963, 1968 and 1977) and once each in Edinburgh (1972), Brighton (1974), Harrogate (1982) and Birmingham (1998).

Sweden and the Netherlands won 4 times. ABBA is the most successful Eurovision Song Contest winner. The Swedish pop band won the contest in 1974.

The first time the UK won was with Sandie Shaw in 1967, she won with ‘Puppet on a String.’ A song she hated and didn’t want to record. The second time it was a joint winner with Four countries (the United Kingdom, Spain, the Netherlands and France) winning the contest, the first time ever a tie had occurred. Lulu represented the UK with ‘Boom Bang a Bang’. The third time was in 1976 with Brotherhood of Man and ‘Save Your Kisses for Me.’ A Fourth win came in 1981 with Bucks Fizz and ‘Making Your Mind Up.’ The Fifth and final winner was 1997 was Katrina and the Waves with ‘Love Shine a Light’.

And since then the light has well and truly gone out on the UK’s entries.

The end of the Cold War in the early 1990s led to a sudden increase in numbers, with many former Eastern Bloc countries queuing up to compete for the first time. This process has continued to this day with more and more countries joining. For this reason, in 2004 the Semi-Final format was introduced by the EBU which turned into two Semi-Finals for the Eurovision Song Contest in 2008. Now all countries, except the ‘Big Five’ – France, Germany, Italy, Spain and the United Kingdom – together with the host country, must be in a Semi-Final top-10 to qualify for the Final.

So why do we continue to support this sad old presentation? The only reason that it is on our TV screens id thanks to the BBC who send vast amounts of licence payers money to the organisers to prop up this derelict production. If we all protested we  wouldn’t have to take part in this garbage any longer.

It really was lovely to see James Newman dancing around and smiling when the second zero points was given out, but it was even lovelier to hear the boos from the live audience and the other guests in the green room standing up to applaud him.

And finally, on this day in 2014 Judges ruled that the remains of Richard III should be given a dignified reburial in Leicester, as the Justice Secretary attacked his distant relatives ( Dick Dastardly and Richard the Turd) for wasting public money by challenging to have him interred elsewhere. Richard III’s body was buried in the now demolished Franciscan Friary in Leicester and was discovered in September 2012 under what had become a car park.

There were 2235 new cases today with a further 5 deaths.

Monday 24/05/2021 – Day 431

A bit of a wishy-washy day here in Kidderminster, bits of blue among the vast grey clouds, this weather is like the Government – it just doesn’t know what to do with itself.

They’re a rare breed our dustbin men, I had to go outside and retrieve our brown garden bin from the middle of the foot path, there is a vast puddle the size of the Dead Sea one side and our wall the other side with about a 12 inch walk  through for the pedestrians, so where do they leave it? Yep, right in the middle of the path. It’s not my fault that Mrs H overfills it and it nearly pulled the poor dustbin man’s arm from its socket. I had to maul it through the gravel on our drive last night and it was so heavy it left two  trench’s  not unsimilar to the Grand Canyon.

Spent a couple of hours at Sarah and Mollies yesterday afternoon, Mrs H did them a lunch and I came away with a long list of jobs ready to do as soon as the weather brightens up a little. Sarah looks so well, but she just cannot move her head without the room spinning, everyone seems to be ignoring her when she explains it. But she has to go for a scan today, she’ll be taken by ambulance to Worcester, perhaps that will reveal the problem.

Just to reassure all my scouse friends out there. You’re being offered a ‘Jab’ not a ‘Job’, so just relax and stay calm.

On this day in 1819 Princess Alexandrina Victoria was born at Kensington Palace in London, the only daughter of the Duke of Kent. As Queen Victoria, she reigned for 63 years, from 1837 until her death in 1901. She married Prince Albert in 1840 and had four sons and five daughters. After Albert’s death in 1861, she went into virtual retirement.

Also on  this day in 1969 The Black and White Minstrel Show, at London’s Victoria Palace, closed after completing 4,354 performances over a period of seven years. In the two decades of its existence, the sheer popularity of The Black and White Minstrel Show  – was reflected in the viewing figures that it amassed. In the 1960s, it regularly achieved audiences of 16 million or more. Its stage-show spin-offs were breaking all box-office records. At one point, it was even something of a critical success: in 1961, it won the prestigious Golden Rose of Montreux. But the BBC were blinkered in their outlook on a show that was so racist, the then hierarchy of the world’s biggest television institution were only interested in results and income.

The show began in 1958 but was eventually stopped in 1978, although a touring version toured continuously from 1960 until 1987, this was a show that pleased our mothers and fathers, but not necessarily their offspring. But then in 1972 we had ‘Love thy Neighbour’ in which two neighbours were racist against each other and guess what? our generation loved it and pushed it straight up the ratings!

In 2003 Britain’s entry in the Eurovision Song Contest failed to score a single point, a fact later blamed on the UK’s stance during the Iraq conflict. Sound familiar?

Remember when you bury a body illegally, always cover it with very rare and endangered plants, it then becomes illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

A rise in new cases up to 2439, and 3 deaths were registered.

Tuesday 25/05/21 – Day 432

The weather’s not too bad today, I must say though, it’s strange to not hear or see the rain battering against the bedroom windows.

Two ambulance men arrived at Sarah’s house yesterday, they were helping her out of bed when she passed out, the ambulance staff managed to get her back into bed and awake again, but she was immediately sick.  One of them remarked that her situation was extremely bad and that she needed help from her doctors surgery. The doctor hasn’t even rung up to see how she is since she left hospital over two weeks ago! They did send a nurse around yesterday to take blood, but Sarah is so thin that they couldn’t manage to get any blood samples – surely this should have rung the alarm bells at the doctors. After waiting for over 50 minutes on the line for an appointment, and after much questioning the doctor finally agreed to make a home visit, he is due today and Sarah has a long list of questions awaiting him.

My highlight of the day was the recycling bin which has to go out, it was almost as heavy as the Garden waste bin, it was full of tins and demijohns. For those not in the know, a demijohn is a glass jar which will hold approximately one gallon of liquid. I used them for my wine making days which I stopped about four years ago. But now I want to start making my own wine again. Firstly though, I have to get rid of the 60+ gallons of wine that I have stored in my shed. No, I don’t mean I will get Mrs H to drink it, as far as I know it is no longer drinkable (although, the good lady will drink almost anything) so it must go down the drain, which well may result in recycled water becoming about 14% proof so watch what your drinking dear readers. I then, of course will have around 80 one-gallon demijohns, whereas in reality I will only need 24, so the plan is to clean them and sell them on our local bargain pages. At least it’ll help toward the new wine.

On this day in 1871 The House of Commons passed the Bank Holiday Act, creating public holidays on Easter Monday, Whit Monday and Christmas Day. But Charles Dickens was well ahead of them and mentioned in ‘A Christmas Carol in 1843 that  Scrooge begrudgingly gave Bod Cratchit a day off at Christmas.

Also on this day in 1994 The Camelot consortium won the contract to run Britain’s first national lottery, starting in November. This has now become the biggest con-trick since decimalisation and I still refuse to play it. I will play the Irish lottery however, as the odds are about the same as before Camelot added 10 extra balls to the Lotto making it almost impossible to win outright. The result is that there is rollover after rollover until the time comes  when it has to be won and this results in a share down. As I said, it’s a con.

I am one of those who is proud to call myself working class, Apparently, you know you’re truly working class when your TV is twice the size of your bookcase.

New cases remained stable today but deaths rose to 15.

Wednesday 26/05/21 – Day 433

I was lay in bed wondering if every one in four frogs is a leapfrog. A nice sunny start to the day for us, but then, we didn’t have any rain yesterday and Lake Geneva at the front of the house has started to dry up.

The Doctor arrived at Sarah’s yesterday and seemed genuinely shocked at her condition, apparently, the hospital did not inform her doctors that she had been discharged, hence the lack of contact between them, it seems right now that her biggest problem is getting out of bed due to the vertigo being so severe. He has left her some tablets which he says work in 80% of cases and he’ll ring her on Thursday to check on her progress.

Mrs H took advantage of the good weather yesterday and worked me like a donkey. The woman is very formidable in the garden! Forget all the gardening experts telling you that you shouldn’t move this plant or that plant at certain times of the year, If Mrs h wants it moved  – then it gets moved – regardless of the rules, and I don’t think she’s ever lost a plant yet, I think they’re too frightened to die!

You all know how I feel about pigeons by now, at our last house both our neighbours had them, they were supposed to be racing pigeons but I can’t remember many of them actually coming home. I asked my neighbour one day over a drink, “What is the difference between a homing pigeon and a normal pigeon?”. He replied, “You can’t lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, then what you’ve lost is a pigeon.”

Mrs H and I  watched a program last night on how ships were held together, it was riveting!

On this day in 1989 The BBC broadcast the 10,000th episode of the daily radio serial The Archers.

When referring to the jobs Mrs H gives me around the house I often say that it’s like painting the Forth bridge, but on this day in 2012 the seemingly never-ending task of painting the Forth Bridge (was finally completed, following a 10-year programme of work and 240,000 litres of ‘epoxy glass plate paint’ that should last for 20 years. More than 1,500 people worked on the bridge during its restoration, with as many as 400 workers on the bridge in a single day at the peak of activity. So, it seems there’s hope for me yet – but don’t hold your breath.

New cases rose substantially today and were up to 3542, registered deaths were 9.

Thursday 27/05/2021 – Day 434

Another lovely sunny start to the day, today is when the weather forecasts all agree that the weather is going to return to some sort of normality. We have even been promised a heatwave, don’t get too excited, a succession of rainless days is now classed as a heatwave in this country but even so, we should never count our chickens before they hatch.

Sarah was not too well again yesterday, the tablets given for her severe vertigo don’t seem to be working, the doctor is ringing her sometime today so perhaps he can sort it out for the poor woman.

I am going to be busy most of the day making a large gate for Gemma’s side alley. Even though there is already a gate at the front of the house. That alley is akin to the Khyber-pass, and the wind – even on a calm day – whistles through like a hurricane. But have no fear, poppa is here.

So many of you enjoyed my look back at Coronation Street last week. But how many of you can remember Crossroads. It was filmed less than 20 miles from here and was famous for the door slamming episodes where the whole set shook and wobbled.

Crossroads was a British television soap opera that ran on ITV over two periods – the original started on November 2nd, 1964, and ran till 1988. In 2001 to 2003, it had a short revival but once again, it never quite reached the rankings expected of a soap.

Originally the story was based around two feuding sisters, Kitty Jarvis (Beryl Johnstone) and Meg Richardson (Noele Gordon). Meg was a wealthy woman who, with the help of her late husband Charles’ insurance money, and compensation money from the council for them building a motorway through their land, turned her large Georgian house into a motel. “The Crossroads Motel” was located on the outskirts of the small village of King’s Oak, which is on the outskirts of Birmingham. Meg also had two children from her marriage, Jill (Jane Rossington) (born 1946) followed by Alexander, or “Sandy” (Roger Tonge).

At first its popularity was as great as Coronation Street, there were some wonderful characters in the show who became household names. One of the favourites was woolly hatted Benny who had every schoolboy in the land uttering ‘Miss Diane’ in a strange Birmingham dialect. His fans included British troops serving in the Falklands War in 1982, who nicknamed the Falkland Islanders “Bennies” after the character. Instructed to stop using the name, the troops came up with “Stills” for locals – because they were “still Bennies”. The long running character Diane Lawton (Susan Hanson) didn’t join the cast until 1966 and Benny became smitten by her. Benny was last seen on screen ascending a ladder to put a fairy at the top of a Christmas tree and never appearing again in the show.

Another well-loved character was Amy Turtle (Anne George) who was a brummy speaking kitchen assistant, in one episode she was actually arrested as a Russian spy! The first chef was Carlos, but other chefs were Gerald Lovejoy (William Avenell), Bernard Booth (David Lawton) and Shughie McFee (Angus Lennie). Shughie being the most popular by far.

Larry Grayson made two cameo appearances Crossroads as a flouncing, difficult customer at the Motel and as the chauffeur at the wedding of Meg Richardson, played by his close friend Noele Gordon even though Grayson could not drive. Rumours were rife about his relationship with Noele Gordon, even to the point where she refused a marriage offer from him. In 1985, new producer Phillip Bowman was planning to bring the character of Meg Richardson back into the show as a “permanent occasional.” Plans were well advanced and scripts were written when Noele Gordon died in April of that year, aged 65. Edward Clayton was brought back as Jill’s ex-husband Stan Harvey to read the lines originally written for Gordon. Roger Tonge who played her onscreen son also died of cancer four years before Noele.

The revival

Carlton TV attempted to revive the show in 2001. Four characters from the original series returned: Doris Luke (Kathy Staff), Jill Harvey (née Richardson), Jill’s ex-husband Adam Chance (Tony Adams), and Jill’s daughter Sarah-Jane Harvey (Joanne Farrell/Holly Newman).  The 2003 series was criticised by fans who felt the series had moved away from the 1964–88 series and the 2001–02 series, as well as being “too gay”. Later, Jane Asher apologised to fans as a result of the way the 2003 series went. The series was once again axed.

New cases continue to rise , attributed to the Indian variant with cases having trebled in a few weeks. Todays new case figure is 3542. There were a further 10 deaths.

Friday 27/05//2021 – Day 435

We had far too much sun yesterday, and as a result it seems to be having a bit of a lie-in this morning. There’s nowt about but cloudy skies and Gout. But Lake Geneva at the front of our house has actually dried out for the first time in months, so it can’t be all bad, the forecast for the forthcoming Bank Holiday is looking really good with temperatures into the low twenties, a veritable heatwave!

As promised I went around to Gemma’s yesterday to make and erect a six-foot garden gate, I had allowed two days to complete the task, but I must be getting better because I started at 9.45 and six hours later I had finished.

Sarah rang her mum and said that she was feeling a bit better and was having something to eat. The doctor rang her as arranged and has come to the conclusion that Sarah has Meniere’s disease. Meniere’s disease is an inner ear disorder. Symptoms come on as “episodes” or “​attacks,” and include vertigo and ringing in the ears. He says the tablets she is on will clear up the attack within a few days, although she may have further attacks in the next few years, fingers crossed.

Here, what’s that old Mr Kipling up to then? Us oldies are his biggest customers and we are all continuously watching our weight (my scales are still in the corner till they tell the truth) so, Mr K takes thirty percent of the sugar out of his cake slices and then doubles his price, I am no scientist, but I would have thought less sugar cheaper cakes, any ideas? Bloomin liberty, that’s what it is and if Mr K doesn’t send me a dozen boxes then I’ll stay the same weight.

Do you know, so many people are judgemental these days – I can tell just by looking at them.

On this day in 1951 (8 months before I was born, at this time I had been a twinkle in fathers eye and was the size of a pea) BBC radio broadcast the first edition of The Goon Show, starring Peter Sellers, Spike Milligan and Harry Secombe. Michael Bentine was also one of the founders but is often forgotten as he left the show after series two ended. There were some great characters including Neddy Seagoon. Eccles and Bluebottle.

Many characters had regular catchphrases which quickly moved into the vernacular; among the best known are:

• “He’s fallen in the water!” (Little Jim)
• “You dirty, rotten swine, you! You have deaded me!” (Bluebottle)
• “You can’t get the wood, you know.” (Henry, Minnie)
• “You silly, twisted boy, you.” (Grytpype-Thynne)
• “You can’t park ‘ere, mate” (Willium) – Milligan’s dig at officious BBC commissionaires.

Since the programme ended in 1960 it has been in constant demand as a repeat and has been broadcast all over the globe.  60 years after it started it retains the power to reduce audiences to helpless laughter; no comedy could ask for more.

New cases rose dramatically by over 600 yesterday bringing the total for the day to 4182, the number of deaths registered remained at 10.

Saturday 28/05/2021 – Day 436

It’s a dull as dishwater start to the day with grey clouds everywhere, but Shefali has assured us Midlander’s that it is only the remnants of yesterdays ‘fly in the ointment’ and that the sun will make an appearance in the afternoon.

Had a really busy day yesterday, I was outside by 10.00am trimming Mrs h’s bush at the front of the house (I know, don’t go there). We were actually waiting for the Tesco man to make his delivery.

We have shopped online since the start of the pandemic and will continue to do so. But I fear one of the biggest mistakes the company have made is bagless shopping. I agree with the strategy of removing all plastic from the universe, but now customers are asked to stand at their doorstep and transfer all their shopping from trays (plastic) to waiting shopping bags. It’s either that or dumping it on the hall floor. Now, this is a fine practise in the warmer months, but picture this –  it is Winter and it is snowing,  the North wind is blowing and you’ve had the heating on all night, your Tesco man turns up with the shopping and you have to have your front door open for five minutes while you unpack the shopping, nuff said I think. Tesco, you need a rethink.

Anyway, as soon as the shopping was put away we were off to Gemma’s to have our hair cut. It must be 22 years now since I went to a barber shop. No, I don’t mean my hair is down to my backside, but it’s 22 years since Gemma qualified as a hairdresser. I had a few inches off the top and  Mrs H had a few inches off her bottom (no, I don’t mean – oh never mind) Suffice to say we both left Gemma’s feeling a bit lightheaded.  We let and Mrs H and I went to visit Sarah and Mollie, Sarah is still confined to bed but the doctor has assured her that she will be a lot better in a few days, fingers crossed.

On this day in 1953 Sir Edmund Hillary and his Sherpa Tenzing Norgay, became the first men to reach the summit of Mount Everest in the Himalayas. But it took almost four days for the news to reach home. The news of the British expedition broke in Britain on Queen Elizabeth II’s Coronation Day, 2nd June. The Queen knighted Edmund Hillary later that year.

Did I ever tell you that when I was very small I felt like a man trapped in a woman’s body – then I was born.

New cases today were still high at 3398 bringing the weekly total to 21469 a big 4,059 up on last weeks total. Registered deaths were 7 bringing the total for the week to 50 which is an increase of 18 on last weeks figures. The number of recoveries were 4,286,249 down by 13,640 on last week.

Well dear reader that is all I have time for this week but God willing and a good wind behind me I will return next Sunday. Meanwhile, if you’re bored you can always visit my page at https://www.erhblog.co.uk/.

Have a great week, stay safe and enjoy the sunshine.

It’s been emotional……………….