Diary of a self-isolator – week 60

A light-hearted look at a few memories and the situation over the last seven days in our house.

Sunday 02/05/2021 – Day 409

I was lay in bed this morning wondering, why does a frisbee appear larger the closer it gets? Then it hit me.

It’s another fine sunny day here in Kidderminster the DEAD centre of the Midlands, Sarah is still not home, seems that they’re having a few problems finding her Insulin supplies as everything grinds to a halt in hospitals over the weekends and all the chemists close down. We are hopeful that she may be home today, but we won’t hold our breaths after last week.

Do you believe in monsters? On this day in 1933 the Loch Ness monster was claimed to have been seen for the very first time. A local couple, George Spicer and his wife were driving along the banks of Loch ness and claim to have seen “an enormous animal rolling and plunging on the surface.” The story of the “monster” (a name chosen by the editor of the local newspaper) became a media phenomenon, with National newspapers sending correspondents to Scotland to investigate, a circus even offered a 20,000-pound reward for capture of the beast. A few months later another couple claimed to have seen the monster on land, but it turned out to be his future mother-in-law spying on him (just kidding).

In November that same year, Hugh Gray captured the first photograph that was thought to depict the Loch Ness Monster, now affectionately known as “Nessie.” Gray claimed to see a large creature rise above the surface of the water and snapped several photographs, but only one contained any information. The picture revealed a shape appearing to have a long neck and thick body. At this time in photo history, many people believed a photograph to be indisputable proof of evidence. Although manipulation techniques were common, the general public was not as familiar with them as they are today. Even so, many critics believed Gray’s photograph to be a dog swimming with a stick in its mouth, instead of the elusive monster.

Then, in 1934 came the infamous ‘Surgeon’s picture’ of Nessie, it was the headline and front-page news of the Daily Mail, it took 60 years before the photograph was revealed as a hoax. Christopher Spurling verified the photograph as a hoax by admitting his involvement in its production. Spurling was the stepson of Maramaduke Wetherell, a famed big-game hunter who had been hired in 1933 by the Daily Mail to find the Loch Ness Monster. He returned from his expedition with evidence of enormous footprints leading from the lake’s shore into the water. However, Natural History Museum researchers concluded the tracks had been made with a dried hippo’s foot, which were popular umbrella stands at the time. Humiliated, Wetherell retreated from public view. After Spurling revealed the photograph as a hoax, he explained that Wetherell had enlisted his help to create a model of the monster’s neck and place it on a toy submarine. Robert Kenneth Wilson was chosen to give the photograph to the media because of his trusted reputation as a doctor. It is now widely assumed that ‘Nessie’ does not exist.

Call me cynical, but the fact that there’s a roadway to hell and only a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.

There were 1671 new cases reported today with 14 deaths reported.

Monday 03/05/2021 – Day 410

Woke up this morning remembering that the electric chair was invented by a dentist, now doesn’t that make sense.

So far today it is a DAD (dull as dishwater) day, it is typical Bank Holiday weather, but we have not got the predicted heavy rain and high winds that the forecaster said last night were on their way. Bank holidays were first introduced by a man named Sir John Lubbock who was a scientific writer, banker, and politician, and the first Baron of Avebury. (He is also reported to have studied ants and tried to teach his poodle how to read!) In 1871, he drafted the Bank Holiday Bill. When it became law, he created the first official bank holidays. Initially, it was just banks and financial buildings that would close, which is where the name comes from. But as time went on, businesses, shops, schools, and the government all joined in. People don’t have to take off a bank holiday if they don’t want to – it all depends on their job contract. Royals can also add extra bank holidays if they want to. For example, the millennium bank holiday on 31 December 1999 and the Golden Jubilee bank holiday on Monday 3 June 2002 were extra special days when many adults got an extra day off work. There you go, another snippet from the useless information department.

We have some excellent news, Sarah is home at last!, She was brought home by ambulance yesterday afternoon around 4.00pm and carried up to bed by ambulance personnel, we had a call from a very worried doctor at 3.45 asking if she was home yet, we said we didn’t know as she didn’t live with us. The doctor went on to explain that part of her medicine had been left at the hospital and they needed someone to come and collect it. This sent everyone into panic mode, Sarah’s boyfriend had gone to the club on the lunchtime and Mrs H had drunk a glass of wine with her lunch in celebration of Sarah’s homecoming. So, who was going to go to Redditch and pick up the medicine? Well, less than an hour later and Mollie (Sarah’s daughter) phoned to say that a lovely nurse had just dropped off the medicine. Life was once again wonderful.

I feel at this stage Mrs H and I should send out a massive thank you to all the ICU staff at Worcester, Birmingham and Redditch, not once but twice they saved Sarah’s life and we will always be eternally grateful for their wonderful dedication and care in these times of crisis, thank you each and every one of you and all doctors and nurses who work for the NHS, we don’t realise how privileged we are in this country.

Watched the finale of the excellent ‘Line of Duty’ last night, and to use a familiar phrase- what a cop-out. I have been an avid fan since the first series in 2012, but the ending and the discovery of H the supposedly chief villain was a complete whitewash, H or Det Supt Ian Buckells, played by actor Nigel Boyle, had hidden in plain sight since he first appeared in series one in 2012 because no one thought the “blundering fool” capable of being a crook. Then he was re-introduced in series 6 this year, but there was no way anyone would have known. Writer Jed Mercurio seems to have dipped into the cast members and made H the first one that came up, very disappointing end – or was it? We could all have been duped once again in order for a new series to be written.

Talking of TV, on this day 65 years ago Granada TV broadcast for the first time at 7.30 p.m. With the ending of the BBC’s monopoly on broadcasting, viewers in the North West saw their first television advertising and four days later Granada did the first sports outside broadcast. TV advertising in the UK began on 22 September 1955. The first commercial was for Gibbs SR toothpaste. All it featured was a block of ice, a tube of toothpaste and a commentary about its “tingling fresh” qualities. But the Ad was a bit of a con, the ‘ice’ wasn’t ice, it was a block of clear plastic because the ice kept melting under the hot lights, and the actress was brushing with a dry brush, it deemed was too mess to actually put Gibbs SR on the brush.

Today in 2007 three-year-old Madeleine McCann went missing from her family’s holiday apartment at the Ocean Club, in Praia da Luz, Portugal. To date, she has not been found, but there have been some cruel and malicious remarks about the family, mostly unfounded, I just know that I wouldn’t like to be in their position.

Today’s jobs include cleaning the Garden room roof. When I finally finished it about six weeks ago we had some torrential rain, I thought that would test it, but the rain that fell was full of sand, apparently, this happens a lot, this ‘rain dust’ comes courtesy of the Sahara Desert, which lifts dust high into the atmosphere during a sandstorm. A southerly wind can carry this dust to the UK, and any rainfall washes it out of the air and onto the Earth’s surface below.  to cut a long story short this has left a couple of horrible patches which I can see as I sit here typing, so I am going to give it a quick rinse.

There were a further 1649 cases reported in the past 24 hours, with just one death registered, the lowest possible and ever!

Tuesday 04/05/2021 – Day 411

Well, what a night, nothing but wind (no dear reader not that sort) It was howling throughout the night and is still gusting this morning, I had a slight leak in the Summer house, but I’ll be on the job as soon as the wind dies down. Meanwhile as they say on the set of Star Wars – May the fourth be with you.

We’ll be popping around to see Sarah later, couldn’t go yesterday as I’ve not been very well and the last thing we need is to be taking any infections with us, but I do feel much better this morning so ‘orf we jolly well go’.

On this day in 2014 Science students at the University of Leicester concluded that the wooden puppet Pinocchio (who was prone to telling tales and whose nose would double in length for each lie) could only have told a maximum of 13 lies. After 13 lies it was concluded that the nose would be 140 metres long and the force exerted downwards would cause his neck to snap. Well, what a bunch of killjoys, I can quite honestly assure them that they are wrong, Mrs H does have a bit of neck pain, but it hasn’t snapped yet.

Mrs H and I took the bull by the horns and went into McDonald’s today. An old man stood in front of us, we thought he was on his own as he placed an order for one beefburger, French fries, and a drink.

As he sat down he unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.

He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them. As he began to eat his few bites of beefburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.

Obviously, they were thinking, ‘That poor old couple – all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.’

As the man began to eat his fries I went over to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said they were just fine – they were used to sharing everything..

People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn’t eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

This time Mrs H went over and begged them to let her buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said ‘No, thank you dear, we are used to sharing everything.’

Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, I once again went over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked, ‘What is it you are waiting for?’

She answered.

‘THE TEETH’.

There were 1946 new cases reported today with 4 deaths registered in the whole of the UK.

Wednesday 05/05/2021 – Day 412

Lovely sunny start to the day, but I have to wonder how long it will last, my jobs are starting to build up now, I made a start on the summerhouse décor yesterday while the weather outside was atrocious, Mrs H attempted to bring me a cup of tea down but by the time she reached me it was just rainwater. For this week’s nostalgia I thought I’d take a look at old game shows on TV.

The first game show whose name still means anything to anyone is What’s My Line?, which ran on the BBC from 1951. It was another simple panel game, nevertheless it ran in numerous different versions on two different channels through to the mid-90s. The programme was the first US import of a Goodson and Todman show – many more were to follow.

The second show I remember was also imported from America; we have to go way back in the fifties to remember the gameshow on Sunday Night at the London Palladium. Beat the Clock -the format of which was borrowed for Bruce Forsyth’s later hit in The Generation Game – featured couples having to perform a trick or stunt, like even changing clothes (previously put on, on top of their ordinary clothes) with each other within a set time. If a couple could complete both stunts, the wife must rearrange words stuck to a magnetic board and people had to “arrange them into a well-known phrase or saying” in 30 seconds. If she succeeded, the couple won a major prize. Whenever a bell rang, the couple who played at that time would play a jackpot stunt for a cash bonus worth £100 for each week since the last jackpot win.

In 1955 commercial TV began and Associated Rediffusion, one of the ITV franchise companies, hit the big time with Take Your Pick, the first commercial show to offer money prizes. It was presented by Michael Miles a later revival starred Des o Connor. Contestants were picked from the studio audience play a game for cash prizes where they must answer questions without ever saying the words “yes” or “no”. If they did a gong was enthusiastically hit by a chap called Alec Dane.

Companion show Double Your Money by Hughie Green offered a top prize of £1000. Thereafter, the money ramped up quickly – one contestant won over £2,000 in 1956 and another won over £5,000 in 1957. This was a Quiz show in which every time a contestant answers a question correctly on their chosen subject their prize money doubles, starting at £1 up to £32. If they get a question wrong however they lose everything. The best player then goes on to a £1000 Treasure Trail. It would not be until 1993 that it was possible to give away unlimited prizes – until then, the limit was £6000.  Bubbly hostess Monica Rose had been plucked from the audience to play, she chose ‘Famous Women and won just £8. But Green was so impressed with her attitude that he invited her back to host, she died later of a drugs overdose.

In 1967 we were introduced to The Golden Shot hosted by Bob Monkhouse; he was assisted by Ann Aston who became famous for her inability to add up. It was a show that reached popularity when it was moved into the traditional graveyard slot of Sunday afternoons. After two more hosts (Norman Vaughan and Charlie Williams) the show ended in 1975 with Bob Monkhouse once again hosting.

Meanwhile in 1971 the BBC were playing safe with shows like Ask the Family, but then The Generation Game came along. Bruce Forsyth was the ideal host, he came up with many catchphrases and his hostesses were also guaranteed fame He married Anthea Redfern, but in a later show his hostess was Rosemarie Ford, the other great host was Larry Grayson who brought his own special personality to the show with hostess Isla St Clair. The show was axed in 2002 when host Jim Davidson decided to quit.

TV game shows were getting more popular in the 70’s and 80’s and were a cheap alternative to costly live entertainment shows. Then Yorkshire came up with a game show which even embarrassed its host Ted Rogers aided by a mechanical dustbin, no-one could understand the clues. 321 was born and the popular gameshow era died.

New cases rose today but only slightly to 2144, the death figure also rose to 27.

Thursday 06/05/2021 – Day 413

Did you know that the lifespan of a housefly is just two weeks? But not in this house, if a fly dares to enter these hallowed spaces Mrs H goes into battle mode, out comes the aerosol spray and suddenly this almost pensioned, delectable creature becomes a sprightly, lithe athlete, (Mrs H, not the fly) performing tricks that would win her the admiration of the Red Baron. But like the Canadian Mountie, she always gets her fly.

Update on Sarah, we went around to deliver her some medicine yesterday, she has to start another course of antibiotics as a visiting doctor has detected another slight infection, she seems perky enough and has to go for a scan at Redditch today, an ambulance is taking her at 8.00am. She has decided to take a bag just in case, fingers crossed for the umpteenth time.

Do you remember the pure orange juice we used to get from the milkman? It used to come in bottles about the same size as a school milk bottle, but the taste was so exquisite. Well apparently, there is a new Orange Juice being marketed today, it is called CEX, (pronounced sex). The new information leaflet says Cex is marvellous, it boosts the immune system and keeps you slim because of its unique formula. The leaflet goes on to say that Cex is good for you at any time of the day, but morning is the best time as it just goes down better, but the leaflet goes on to say that it could be good at any time of the day, So, have Cex on the breakfast table it will guarantee a great start to the day, or have Cex in bed, it really doesn’t matter where you have it. If you are on a picnic then have Cex on the tablecloth next to your cheese and tomato sandwiches, Cex on the beach is also quite good but beware of seagulls and wasps. Interested? Then order Cex from your milkman as soon as possible, He will be pleased to deliver, if not Cex is available at your local supermarket, just go into Sainsbury’s and ask any colleague for it. Cex will turn you around and leave you feeling wonderful. Once started finish Cex as soon as possible. Please write in and let me know what you think about this new product and don’t forget Cex is good for you.

It seems today is national No Diet Day, started in 1992, it celebrates the importance of body acceptance, diversity, and respect for all body shapes and sizes. Well dear reader I am here to tell you that Mrs H and myself fully support this worthy cause and in the Harvey household any day that ends in a ‘Y’ is a No Diet Day.

The highest number of new cases was recorded today at 2613, there were 13 registered deaths.

Friday 07/05/2021 – Day 414

A very sunny day here, the sky is azure blue but we have still had a slight frost, up North they have had snow, so I’m not complaining, supposed to be a half decent day today weatherwise so I will temporarily abandon the painting of the interior of the Summerhouse and do some jobs outside.

Update on Sarah, the ambulance that was supposed to transport her to her scan never arrived, she was contacted a few hours later by the co-ordinater who wanted to know why she hadn’t attended. Sarah explained, she also told her about the Doctors visit and the fact that even though she had another infection she had the wrong ante-biotics. The result is that she will be picked up today and taken either to Worcester NHS or Bromsgrove NHS, they will fit a line to her system so that the District nurse can call every day to give a stronger ante-biotic through her line.

I see the PC brigade managed to get onto the Good Morning show this week, there was some heated debate on Wednesday’s Good Morning Britain over whether Disney’s Snow White has encouraged children that ‘kissing without’ consent is acceptable.

Hosts Adil Ray and Susanna Reid were joined by guests dating historian Nichi Hodgson and relationship therapist Emiliana Silvestri who clashed over whether the Disney interpretation of classic fairy tale Snow White and a new ride inspired by it promotes ‘kisses without consent.’ This is the scene where the Prince kisses Snow White to bring her back to life. It seems that the fact that she was ‘asleep’ at the time is the wrong message to send out to young children.

It is shows like this that promote unease on our screens, this is basically a load of hogwash where a struggling pair of women make known their views to promote their own ego’s.

What happens next? Well, animal rights are going to complain about mice being used in Cinderella, Vegans are going to sue the writer of Red Riding Hood because he was shown as a meat eater. And Goldilocks is going to be taken to Court for theft. Beam me up Scottie (actually, he never said that) is this going to bring the wrath of the Writers Guild upon my head – do I care?

On this day in 1945 Germany signed an unconditional surrender in a small school in Rheims (France) when General Jodl, German Army Chief of Staff, signed his name on documents that formally ended six years of war in Europe. At 2:41 a.m. on 7th May, he signed the surrender, which was to take effect from 8th May at 11:01 p.m. There have been many debates since about how many more men needlessly died in the thirty-two hours and twenty minutes before it was officially declared.

There were a further 2490 new cases reported today, and 15 registered deaths.

Saturday 08/05/2021 – Day 415

I wish I hadn’t bothered to get up, after yesterday’s lovely sunny day it has now retreated to the cold, dreary drab and rainy day we have all come to expect in this seemingly waterlogged country of ours, two weeks ago most gardeners were praying for a drop of the wet stuff – but when it starts it just doesn’t know when to stop, ok relax, that’s my whinge of the day out of the way.

A nurse went to Sarah’s house yesterday to take bloods, they all seem outraged at the way she has been sent home without any ante-biotics or any set care, she has basically been put in her bedroom and left to get on with it. A sort of out of sight out of mind syndrome. We should know later if she does have another infection or not, but what we do know is that she is still very poorly.

On this day in 1926 David Attenborough, English naturalist and broadcaster was born. A very happy 95^th birthday to one of TV’s best ever presenters who has enthralled TV audiences for over 75 years.

1945 VE Day in Europe. After five years, eight months, and five days of massive devastation, the end of the European phase of World War II was celebrated. Victory in Europe was commemorated with celebrations all around the world in recognition of the unconditional surrender of all German forces, which was signed in Reims, France, the previous day. People all over the United Kingdom quickly put together street parties with hoards of hidden food suddenly making an appearance, the streets of London swarmed with crowds, Amongst those crowds Princess Elizabeth (the future Queen Elizabeth II) and her sister, Princess Margaret blended anonymously, apparently enjoying the celebrations for themselves first hand.

Trestle tables were acquired from church halls with every seat and bench available, the tables were laden with things like trays of dripping, potato pie, this was one of the most widely cooked dishes during the war, consisting of diced potatoes and vegetables with a potato or pastry topping. Offal was often found in wartime dishes. Faggots were very popular, they were basically meatballs made of offal and off-cuts, wrapped in fat and fried. Mash and gravy (easily available) were a must-have accompaniment. All meat was scarce and therefore a luxury, so it would have been saved for special occasions. But you might have been treated to Homity pie. Corned beef hash or Liver casserole. Sweet treats weren’t totally off limits, but you had to be a little more ingenious because of limited ingredients. Eggs were rationed so people had to learn how to bake without them, and anything with the also rationed sugar was saved for a very special day.

Beer would run out in most places long before the 10.30pm curfew.

George and Rose popped in on their way back from the supermarket, Mrs H mentioned that George looked really traumatised.

“Did he have a bad experience I Sainsbury’s?”

Yes, with the cashier.” Rose replied.

“Oh” said Mrs H, “Some of those cashiers can be quite rude and surly, did he tell them off?”

Well,” said Rose, “If he did, he was talking to himself – he was at the self-service checkout.”

I was sat watching the rubbish on TV last night when I had a real craving for cake, not a particular cake, but any cake, the craving got so bad that at 7.00pm Mrs H offered to drive me down to the Co-op store. Then her phone rang, it seems that Mrs H had put my cravings on the family app, and Alisha, our Granddaughter had phone a place called Delicious Deserts and they were delivering cakes in 30 minutes. Now THAT is pure love, thank you Alisha xx.

There were 2067 new cases reported today, that brings the total for the week to 14,560 which is 600 less than last weeks total. There were also a further 5 deaths registered, which brings the total to 79 for the week, this is 28 lower than the previous week. To date there are 4,245,744 recovered, 27,542 more than last week.

That brings me to the end of another eventful week, hope you all have a fantastic week ahead and look forward to boring you all again next Sunday.

It’s been emotional.