Diary of a self-isolator – week 45

A lighthearted look at a few memories and the situation over the last seven days in our house.

Sunday 17/01/2021 – Day 309

I was awake really early this morning, I slipped quietly out of bed trying hard not to disturb the lovely Mrs H, I got dressed and had my four Weetabix, I looked out of the window and all was really quiet – as you would expect in a lockdown, I then did something I hadn’t done for ages, I put on my trainers and sweat top and went for a jog – I can’t remember the rest of the dream.

I managed to get outside and put the Fascia board on the Canopy, due to the size and the awkwardness I really wasn’t looking forward to this job, but, despite inclement weather and a lot of cuss words trying to get the little fiddly caps onto the fixings I managed it, I went back inside at about 4,00pm to a lovely roast chicken dinner.

When I was a child in the sixties I used to go to Sunday school, not because I was religious (although I was back then) but because I knew that after the meeting there was free squash and cake, or sometimes tea and biscuits with sandwich triangles, I often think back to that Sunday school, I can hardly remember what we actually did there and I feel really guilty about it now.

1912  Captain Robert Falcon Scott reached the South Pole, only to find that the Norwegian Roald Amundsen had beaten him by one month.

Also on this day in 1953 As in the rest of the world around this time, a slight shift is made in the styles of clothing worn. Women in particular still wanted to dress nice during this time, but yet were wearing more practical clothing.
One of the items that were considered to be made more comfortable during this time was shoes. Many women were looking for pairs with lower heels-ones that help them live out their current active lifestyle.
It was during this time in Canadian history as well as in other areas of the world when size did not matter. Women used to want to try to fit their feet into smaller shoes, when really they should be wearing at least a half a size larger.
Therefore, since women were feeling less self-conscious about size in general-including for shoes-the shoes they wore fit much better. The same was for all the other clothing women wore during this time.

Old Chinese proverb say – Give a man a fish and he can eat for a day, but teach that man to fish and he can avoid wife for whole weekend!

Thankfully, the figures today were well down on yesterday, but we must remember that these are weekend figures, the number of new infections was 38,598 in the last 24 hours, the registered deaths for the past twenty four hours were 671.

Monday 18/01/2021 – Day 310

It’s strange to think that in just 42 days I will have been away from work for a whole year, well, when I say ‘away from work’ as you all know I am no stranger to doing a bit.

I’ve been outside again putting the final finishes to the Canopy, Mrs H brings me regular cups of tea and reckons it’s far too cold to be outside working, Me? Well I think it’s like Summer to what we were getting a few weeks ago, Having inserted the final piece of timber I decided to come inside to the warmth, I was sat there thinking of what I could put into my blog for today, after all, I don’t want to be boring you all with building projects and how they happen, then I realised, I haven’t told you much about my dad.

My Dad was a Carpet Weaver and in those days they worked a 54 hour week, he did four shifts starting at 6.00pm and finishing at 6.00am,  on Friday they went in from 4pm to 10pm, on the 12 hour shift they were allowed a break at 9.30 for half an hour, even though leaving the premises wasn’t allowed by the bosses most of the weavers would climb the back wall and go across to the local for a few pints, the pubs shut at ten in those days, the landlord would line the pints up on the bar so that no time was wasted pouring them out for the expected rush.

He was a hard worker and only smoked and drank at weekends, he would go to the pub at opening time on a Saturday and return home at around 2.30, although he was a heavy drinker I can never remember him falling asleep on the afternoons, the tension was always high when he was in the room, as soon as he went out we all breathed a sigh of relief.

He would be out again for six o clock and Mum was expected to join him about 8.00pm regardless of what sort of hard day she’d had. We lived in a street which was really quiet at night, it was easy to lie in bed and hear my mums stiletto heels in the distance, if you could also hear my dad singing then all was well, but the nights I heard those heels and nothing else my heart filled with dread, there was an inbuilt wardrobe in our room and I would shut myself in there in the dark and hold my hands over my ears, I would hear mum come in and a few seconds later the front door would slam, then it would start -things being thrown around the kitchen, shouting and bawling – most of it coming from my dad, my Mum screaming as he hit her, within minutes of them arriving home the ten of us and my mum were out in the street, the neighbours who were well used to the rumpus were brilliant and would come out and a few of us would go to one house a few to another and so on.

The next day mum would go back, they’d make up and all was well until the next time. This was a regular thing in my early life.

That was going to be my legacy as I grew, I would never hit a woman or a child and I never have to this day, I still cannot stand sudden bangs or loud noises, but in later years I would sit with my dad (Whom I had a lot of respect and love for) having a quiet pint and trying to understand what made him like he was, All he would say was it had been the pressure of raising such a large family.

I quietly but politely pointed out to him that he didn’t raise us – Mum did!

The number of new cases continued to fall with 37535   cases reported in 24 hours, the number of deaths recorded today were 599.

Tuesday 19/01/2021 – Day 311

Took me ages to get these sorry old bones out of bed this morning, I have discovered that twisting and turning in all sorts of positions is no good for your back or shoulders, I do of course refer to the building of the canopy.

Having been sat downstairs with Mrs H, I was on my laptop working on a story whilst she watched Emmerdale, of course you can’t help but be drawn in by the absolutely stunning storyline, Mandy Dingle singing ‘You’re the One That I Want’ whilst attempting to woo the biggest loser in the programmes history, a few minutes later the loser is outside the pub on the main street, kicking the proverbial out of his son – and no-one was about or heard a thing. At the end of the program a person announced that ‘if you have been affected by events in this program’ etc. Well ITV I have been affected by the terrible acting, the terrible writing and the incredulous rubbish that these so called writers expect the viewer to believe – have you got a phone number for that please ITV, the program makes Mrs Browns Boys look like Academy award prospects.

I’ve been looking into my family history and found out something amazing, apparently. nine months before I was born I went to a party with my Dad and went home with my Mum!

On this day in 2013, A piece of music that was composed by waiting for bird droppings to fall onto giant sheets of manuscript paper received its premiere at the Tate Liverpool art gallery. Artist Kerry Morrison said that the music represented the role that birds play in the environment. Sadly, most critics said it was – a load of crap lol!

Also on this day in 2015 The death of Anne Kirkbride, known for her long-running role as Deirdre Barlow in the ITV soap Coronation Street, which she played for 42 years from 1972 to 2014. Does anyone remember when Diedre was in prison, it was a bit manic and campaigns started all over Britain to ‘Free the Weatherfield One’, it was the talk of the nation.

It is fair to say that Deirdre has had a number of relationships whilst living on the Street, even if Ken Barlow was the one that she always seemed to return in the end. Her choice for partners in life left a lot to be desired but her liaison with Jon Lindsay (Owen Aaronovitch) during 1998 was the one that changed everything in more ways than one. He was apparently an airline pilot with a lavish lifestyle that had whisked Deirdre off her feet but all wasn’t what it seemed. Deirdre’s all-time lover Ken Barlow spots Jon working at a tie shop at the airport and despite then telling Deirdre, Jon manages to wriggle out of trouble by fibbing that he was a pilot but lost his licence over poor eyesight. They soon part ways when Deirdre realises he’s married but when she tries to retrieve the money she gave Jon towards a mortgage, she is charged with theft. Lindsay was eventually arrested along with a shocked Deirdre. Naturally there was outrage and not just in the courtroom among the public gallery. Corrie had just sent down one of its most iconic characters but they hadn’t reckoned on what the viewers would do next. The Granada switchboards were jammed as they became inundated with the angry response at the apparent gross miscarriage of justice. The campaign had started and was the talk of the nation.

And so it began and the campaign to reverse the judgement given to Deirdre was soon on the front pages of the tabloids and being discussed among the comment pieces of the broadsheets. No soap storyline had roused such a feeling around the country as it looked like she might have to serve the sentence. From t-shirts to car stickers, ‘Free the Weatherfield One’ was a mass immobilisation of viewers who wanted Corrie to do the right thing. Such was the hysteria that this created, it eventually reached the very top when the Prime Minister, Tony Blair, instructed his Home Secretary Jack Straw to intervene in the case to appease the nation. Eventually peace was restored to the soap when Diedre was released. My Mum always said a bit of Soap worked wonders. That was of course when the soaps had real writers and people cared about the characters – ok, I’ll get off my soap box now.

The number of new cases continued to fall today showing that the lockdown may now be starting to have an effect, there were 33355 cases today, but the number of deaths continues to rise at a terrible pace, there were 1610 registered deaths in the last 24 hours.

Wednesday 20/01/2021 – Day 312.

Well, the countdown has begun, just seven days to go. I was lay in bed this morning, it was still pitch black outside and was contemplating the thought that snakes have transparent  eyes which they can see through when their eyes are closed, I had a mother in law like that!

Mrs H and myself were enjoying our morning cuppa when we decided – looking outside at the newly finished canopy – that it would really benefit from having one side blocked in, it was a sort of ‘Escape to the Chateau’ moment, Mrs H being Angel (Ha ha, never in the reign of pig’s plonk) and me being Dick (Mmm) anyway, what usually happens is that Angel (Mrs H) comes up with the suggestion and Dick (myself) has to come up with a solution to keep her smiling, within an hour I was on the computer ordering the cladding to build a side wall and to lower the front by two feet so we can buy blinds that will roll down in inclement weather. You see dear reader – that’s how a marriage works – she shouts and I jump!

Been in the Repair shop today and I’ve actually finished a project I started over two months ago, or friends Janet and John brought a chair round for me to renovate and as a project for me to do, I stripped all the worn upholstery off the very first day and did a few necessary and urgent repairs,  then sort of skipped (not literally you understand) between the chair and the cocktail cabinet that I was also working on at the time, anyway, then I had to start Mrs H’s canopy, so that was basically three jobs on the go. Somehow the poor chair got neglected and I never got around to continuing it, but today it was absolutely pouring down so I took the bull by the horns and reupholstered the chair, then I gave it another coat of chalk paint, it hasn’t turned out too bad considering, I am quite proud of it. Can’t show it Mrs H yet as I need about half an hour to finish it completely when the paint is dry.

The new president of the good old US of A is being inaugurated today, he can’t be any worse than the outgoing one – can he? Trump never bothered to turn up to the ceremony, toys out of the pram etc etc.

Here’s a joke George told me this morning when he rang, trouble with George is that he gets all enthusiastic and then forgets the real reason for phoning, anyway, here goes;

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in

horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

The ball hit one of the men.

He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.

The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. ‘Please allow me to help. I’m a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you’d allow me, she told him.

‘Oh, no, I’ll be all right. I’ll be fine in a few minutes,’ the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin.

At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside.

She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, ‘How does that feel’?

He replied: It feels great, but I still think my thumb’s broken!.

Just as we thought the new cases were settling, they shot up by almost 5000 today, the total was 38905 the highest of the week, but more alarming still were the number of recorded deaths due to coronavirus, there were 1820 today, and the Government are warning us that these figures will continue to rise for a time yet!.

Thursday 21/01/2021 – Day 313

We had one hell of a storm last night, the rain was beating against the windows like hale, and the wind was really gusty, it sounded like all hell was breaking outside. The countdown continues with just 6 days remaining. I was lay in bed contemplating the fact that Sir John Harrington, a Godson of Queen Elizabeth 1^st, invented the flush toilet. However, the first to market the flush toilet was a chap called Thomas Crapper, I am reliably informed that the similarity between his surname and the word crap are purely coincidental, a bit like the Irishman inventing the toilet seat – but it was the Englishman who put a hole in it!.

The new cladding arrived this morning, no email or anything to say it was on its way, just a rather soggy chap in a turban, the poor man had (as usual) been to the Wolverley address, that man down there is going to love us – I don’t think!

Well, everyone is really Christoff with this storm over the last few days, we had a right royal drenching last night and the flood barriers have gone up down the road in Bewdley, this is because when it rains in Wales we get a lot of their water come down the River Severn, As I said everyone is quite Christoff with the storm – can’t for the life of me think what they called it this time though.

On this day in 1925 The birth of the comedian Benny Hill, in Southampton, Hampshire. One of his biggest fans was the silent film star, Charlie Chaplin. He was on TV for many years yet was eventually belittled by the alternative comedian Ben Elton who made a headline-grabbing allegation, both on the TV show Saturday Live and in the pages of Q magazine (in its January 1987 issue), that The Benny Hill Show was single-handedly responsible for the incidences of rape in England during the period in question, and also suggested the programme incited other acts of violence against women. The useless Ben Elton who – in my humble opinion is about as funny as a broken leg – tried to play the allegations down when a furious public turned on him.

There were 37892 new cases today but the death toll was still very high at 1290, this means that the number of fatalities since Sunday is around 6000, Today Priti Patel who is about as useful as a chocolate teapot, announced £800 fines for anyone attending a house party.

Friday 22/01/2021 – Day 314

The countdown is now just five days to go, now then, here’s a heads up for all you crisp lovers out there, eating one packet of crisps a day is the equivalent of drinking five litres of cooking oil a year, just think about that when you reach out in Sainsburys for that monstrous multi-pack.

The fierce wind and rain have abated at last but it’s left us with a bitter Northerly freezing cold wind, I hate wind (stop it you lot) you can wrap up against a good frost but wind well, it just goes straight through you (I said stop it). It was white over this morning and looked as though we had snow, but it was just a sharp frost, by 11.00 am it was mostly gone so I bravely went outside to start fixing the cladding on the Canopy, guess what? It was milder than yesterday! By 3,00 pm I had most of the wall up, if it hadn’t been for the worst designed edge strips in the world I would have easily finished it.

I was sat down having a rest and a cuppa and the phone rang, it was George whom I hadn’t heard off for nearly a week There goes another half hour of my life, I thought.

“Morning young Eric, Mrs H reckons you’re having a few problems, would you like me to come and give you a hand, I’ll keep my mask on at all times”

Not wanting to seem rude but needing to get the job finished in the next week I politely declined, but it didn’t stop him speaking.

“There’s been a lot of debate about anti-Vaxxers on Facebook lately. I am now coming forward to stand up and say I’m firmly in the anti-Vax camp. There, I’ve said it!

I have my reasons, like many anti-Vaxxers, but it’s important that everyone approaches this sensitive topic armed with the information THEY know to be true. I know my truth and I have first -hand experience that backs up my stance.

I had a Vax once and it was the worst vacuum cleaner ever. I will never buy one again. All these armchair experts have clearly never experienced the disappointment of having to go over the same piece of carpet again and again to pick up the same piece of cotton.

I am firmly in the Henry camp and I will not be told otherwise.”

I just couldn’t believe that I’d fell for one of his sick jokes again, I told him there was someone at the door and bid him good day.

At 5.00pm Boris and his two mates held a Downing street conference to basically tell us that the new virus strain is deadlier than they first thought – especially to men over 60, my day was just getting worse! But I was still alive at least. Today there were a further 40261 new cases the highest figure this week, the number of recorded deaths were once again well over 1000 and stood at 1401.

Saturday 23/01/2021 – Day 315

The countdown continues with just four days to go, we had a snow shower last night, it started with rain and within minutes everything was white over, unbelievable weather. Not wishing to get out of bed too early I am lay in bed reading a trivia book and have just discovered that the first known contraceptive was crocodile dung used by the Egyptians in 2000bc, I am wondering first of all – how did they get crocodiles in Egypt – and secondly how on earth did the dung work? Perhaps it was spread on the body and your partner smelled so badly that you kept away!

I was startled by a big gasp of exasperation from Mrs H in the bedroom, (no, no ,no) I went in to her to discover that she’d been taken off Facebook – she had in their words – expired! So the next two hours were spent trying to reconnect her, I love it, I can say what I like on there without her knowing, it’s a bit like her losing her voice lol.

On this day in 1989 Legislation came into force which permitted garages to display fuel prices by litre only, not by the gallon, and therefore came the biggest con on the British people since decimalisation.

Also on this day in 1985 A House of Lords debate was televised for the first time. People watched eagerly as the events unfolded, not to see what was happening but to see how many of them actually managed to stay awake for the whole performance.

The lockdown seems to be having an impact as the new case figures have only been above 40,000 once this week, todays figure is 33,552 which brings the total for my seven days to 260,048 almost 80,000 down on lest week. Recorded deaths however continue to rise and today’s figures were 1348 this brings my seven day total to 8,739 which is around 1000 up on last weeks total. The good news is that the number of recovered patients now stands at 1,600,622, let’s hope for a better week next week.

I was going to post some pictures of Mrs H’s canopy but to be quite truthful, I haven’t quite finished it, so all you budding builders will have to wait another week I’m afraid, meanwhile I’ll leave you with before and after pictures of the chair which I renovated this week.

I hope you all have a most wonderful and safe week.

It’s been emotional.