Diary of a self-isolator – week 31

A lighthearted look at a few memories and the situation over the last seven days in our house.

Sunday 11/10/2020 – Day 210

Just posted my Diary from last week, still amazed at the number of followers I have, it takes me most of Sunday evening to reply to all the comments. looking out of the window it’s sunny but there is a big dark cloud coming over the horizon, if it makes it here then we are in for some torrential rain.

On this day in 1216 King John lost his crown jewels whilst crossing ‘The Wash’, on the north-west margin of East Anglia. I’ll bet that made his eyes water!  Also, on this day 1919 The first airline meals were served on a Handley-Page flight from London to Paris. They were pre-packed lunch boxes at 3 shillings each (15p). Most airlines are still serving those same meals today, and they are just as bad as the originals probably were!

And finally, on this day in1982 The Mary Rose, which had been the pride of Henry VIII’s English fleet until it sank in the Solent in 1545, was raised, by the Mary Rose Trust. It was one of the most complex and expensive projects in the history of maritime archaeology. She was one of the largest ships in the English navy and was one of the earliest examples of a purpose-built sailing warship. Since the mid-1980s, the hull of the Mary Rose has been kept in a covered dry dock in Portsmouth whilst undergoing conservation, close to Nelson’s Victory.  Five years later in 1987 A huge sonar exploration of Loch Ness, failed to find the world- famous monster, known affectionately as Nessie. I just think it’s astounding how they could find a 400 – year old ship and yet they couldn’t find Nessie, perhaps she had gone shopping, having her hair done or gone for a flu jab, just saying, you never know with these females lol!

Back to the repair shop this morning to make the doors for the new unit which is now in-situ. It’s taken a couple of days, but well worth it, to say Mrs H is over the moon would be a gross understatement.

We Haven’t seen old George for over a week but no doubt he’ll turn up like a bad penny, the last we heard was that his girlfriend Rose had signed up for one of those lose weight and health fitness classes, the introduction said to ‘wear some loose clothing’. Rose reckons if she had got any ‘loose clothing’ she wouldn’t have signed up in the first place!

I was thinking today about some of those old jobs you rarely hear of these days, like the chimney sweep, I don’t mean those days when they used to send those poor mites up the chimneys, I mean the sweeps who always had a blackened face and a bicycle towing a box with their brushes strapped to the side. They’d come into your house throw a cover over the fireplace and push the brushes through the hole in the cloth, and down it came, not a bit of dust anywhere, today of course it is all done by vacuum.

Switchboard operators no longer exist, many a girl spent hours connecting the caller to the receiver.

You don’t see those door to door salesmen either, they would stagger around the streets with a large suitcase full of all types of brushes and other paraphernalia. My Mum would always try and buy a small item from them.

There was also the Used Teeth salesman, yes, this is true, For much of the 20th century, access to decent dental treatment was limited, particularly in Europe, and many people who couldn’t afford to visit the dentist resorted to buying second-hand false teeth when their pearlies had rotted away. The foundation of the NHS in 1948 ended the icky trade in the UK, though it carried on in other parts of Europe for a while longer.

And finally, Video store staff, Thanks to online streaming, the days of dealing with snooty video clerks who sneer at your movie picks and berate you for not rewinding the cassettes are long gone. Blockbuster, for instance, employed 84,300 staff at its peak in 2004 and counted 9,094 locations. Nowadays, the retailer has just two stores, one in Alaska and one in Oregon that have a handful of employees.

I daresay there are hundreds more jobs long gone.

The virus situation continues to damn the Government with 12872 new cases and 65 further deaths, these are of course weekend figures.

Monday 12/10/2020 – Day 211

I have no idea what is happening with this old body but I once again overslept this morning!, I think I’ll put my mask on and nip down to the body shop to purchase another I think, wouldn’t it be nice if it was that easy.

We’ve had a great day today Mrs H and I. I had been in the repair shop most of the morning making new doors for the bespoke unit, I went back inside to check a measurement and the poor lady was almost in tears:

“There’s something wrong with the washing machine”

After a few well-chosen expletives about modern machinery I calmed her down and spent the next hour checking out the seven-year old machine, it was making a strange noise, the door wouldn’t open, and the programme was showing a warning sign. In short – it was like myself – old and knackered. We eventually got the door to open and Mrs H managed to save my freshly washed underwear and once again the odd socks. Which brings me to that age-old question, where do odd socks go, Is there something like a Bedroom Triangle where socks disappear from the time you discard them to when they supposedly re-appear after a full wash and dry? I have a sock drawer with at least five socks who are billy no mates.

The dilemma now was do we spend £50 to get an ‘Expert’ to come out and tell us that it’s now defunct and the spare part needed is going to cost £120 to replace, plus labour plus VAT, or do we simply order a new one online.

Having gone for the latter we now have a new machine coming on Sunday, I won’t mention the name but suffice to say they are good with Indian food, they will remove the old one, fit the new one, make sure it is working ok, do your first big wash (ok, I made that up) and recycle the old machine for less than £300, for me that is a bargain, no mauling heavy machinery about, a brand new machine for Mrs H, and the one thing that money cannot buy – peace of mind.

I have to say at this stage that we are not minted, (having lots of cash) but we do have a ‘slush fund’ for such emergencies.

So, sorting out the machine cost me a few hours which meant that I will now have to complete the peninsular and bespoke unit tomorrow.

Watched Boris and his cohorts live (when I say ‘Live’ I use the term loosely of course) on TV at 3.30 this afternoon, I have to say that the poor chap does take a lot of flack from even his own MP’s never mind the opposition, no matter how hard he tries he is attacked from all sides, the BBC are his worst enemies, they always come out all guns blazing, this started when he tried to get the TV licence scrapped, so he is now their No1 target, Trump gets a better press than he does on the news. I feel sorry for him, he can’t do right for doing wrong, people seem to forget that the words he speaks are not his words, they are not his decisions, he is guided by an army of faceless bureaucrats and scientists.

The figures for today are once again not too bad, although any amount of deaths are totally unacceptable, the new case figure for today was 13970 with a further 50 more deaths recorded, as I said though, still not good.

Tuesday 13/10/2020 – Day 212

Very chilly outside this morning, I know this fact because I had to once again go down the garden path to get some milk from the fridge in the shed, it was that or go without my four Weetabix

I can’t wipe the smile off Mrs H’s face at the moment, she is as my old mum used to say ‘cockahoop’, While I was building the new unit I made a pigeon hole to house the new BT wi-fi receiver, when we put it in it was fine, then after an hour it started going on and off with the reception light flashing, Mrs H looked at it and said “It’s looking straight at the wall, surely, if we turn it to the left a bit it will pick up the signal”, well dear reader I almost choked on my tea with laughter, she was expecting the signal from the main box to come around the corner to the receiver, Mrs H being who she is moved it anyway – and the damn thing has worked properly since, I have had to widen all the doorways so she can get her head through them!

The good news is that the bespoke unit and the peninsular are now finished, all painted up and the whole room refreshed with a lick of the suitable matt emulsion. I have to say, it has certainly made a difference to the ambience of that room.

The bad news is that Mrs H has already got my next job lined up for me, she has now decided that she is fed up with the fireplace we have had in our dining room for the last five or so years, she would like the mirror removed from above, the original top taken off and replaced with a humungous piece of timber which will eventually look like a supporting beam – hopefully!

For some unknown reason while I was measuring the job up this thought entered my head, perhaps it  was because I was staring at the family photographs, but I remember, I Upset my mum really bad during a conversation, she said “I hope your child turns out twice as bad as you,” She forgotten that she’d be babysitting one day!

As feared, the results for the last two days were weekend figures and are always falsely low for some reason, but today’s figures wake us all up to the fact that this pandemic is real and is not going anywhere. The new cases today were 17234, but the frightening thing was that deaths recorded were a staggering 143, almost double any previous figures.

Wednesday 14/10/2020 – Day 213

Woke up this morning to the dulcet tones of stiff pilchard sorry Cliff Richards whose birthday it is today, the Peter Pan of pop is now into the octogenarian era as he clocks up an amazing 80 years on this planet, good on you Cliff and Happy Birthday.

Before I start any more jobs for Mrs H today, I have to go and tidy up the repair shop, I must admit I have let it get into a bit of a state in the past week, this often happens when I am doing a job, by the end of the day you are too tired to put stuff back where you had it from, so it just gets plonked anywhere there is a space.

Meanwhile, on this day in 1969 we lost a dear old friend who had been with us for nigh on fifty five years, it had served us well and fed many a poor family, it was of course the Ten Bob Note.

Back in the 1960’s the 10 Shilling Note, or ‘ten bob’ as it was commonly known, would go pretty far – buying you 6 pints of beer, 10 loaves of bread, or 17 pints of milk.

Today, 50p can only just buy you one pint of milk! And you can certainly forget that pint of beer!

But before the much loved 50p came along, the old 10 Shilling banknote had a fascinating history.

From being issued by the Government in a wartime emergency, changing colour to avoid forgery from the Nazis and eventually being replaced by the world’s most popular coin, it’s important that the history of the ten bob isn’t forgotten. In August 1914, the British economy was in turmoil due to the instability caused by the oncoming war on the continent.

Bankers and politicians were desperately looking for ways to secure Britain’s finances and prevent the banks from collapsing. The Government decided that a large supply of banknotes should be made available for the value of 10 Shillings, making it easy for the public to make small transactions. Until this point the lowest denomination banknote was £5, and in those days, this was such a large sum that many people would never have seen or used a banknote before.

During World War II, Nazi Germany hatched a plan to undermine British currency.

Through ‘Operation Bernhard’ they believed they had discovered a method to manufacture counterfeit ‘White Fivers’ and planned to distribute these in huge numbers to destabilise the British currency.

The Bank of England decided to take preventative action and, as a result, the 10 Shilling note was changed for the duration of the war to a distinctive pink and blue colour in an attempt to prevent counterfeiting.

After undergoing a colour change during the Second World War, the ten- bob note reverted to its familiar red-brown, until 1961, when a new design featuring a portrait of Queen Elizabeth II was introduced.

However, it was still scrapped in 1969, The principle reason for the change was to save the Treasury money. The notes had an average lifetime of around five months, whereas a coin could last for fifty years.

There you go, another snippet from the useless information department.

I was tidying up the repair shop (Which has taken the best part of a day)  and as often happens when I have no music playing my mind drifts back to the past and time as a child at home. In all honesty I had a happy childhood, my mates used to put me in old tyres and roll me down hills, they were Goodyears!

I thought yesterday’s figures were bad, but today the new cases have risen by 2500 to 19724, as if that wasn’t bad enough the death total was 137 which means over the last two days they are averaging 140.

Thursday 15/10/2020 – Day 214

Isn’t it strange the daft things that go through your head, I was lay in bed this morning in the dark and got to thinking, ‘If I was Snow White, you would never kill me with an apple, you’d have to poison a Buttermint.

Then I thought about Karl Marx, he was an historically famous figure, but no-one ever mentions his sister Onya, who invented the starting pistol.

That was when I decided it was time to get up!

George was in a right whingeing mood when he phoned today, after his local restricted the drinking hours he said:

“I went to my local last night and ordered a pint. As the landlord passed my drink, I asked him for the wi-fi code because I needed to check a message from Rose.

“Oh no” he said, “No wi-fi in here George, I’ve had it removed,  people used to sit talking in pubs, about their day, their families, work, politics, music, the lot. Now people just stare at their phones and it breaks my heart to see it. Therefore, no wi-fi in this pub.”

“You know what?” I replied, “You’re right” and I put my phone away.

“Thank you”, the landlord said, “In this pub I want you to act as you would twenty years ago”.

So, I lit a cigarette, gave him 50p for the pint and said “Two can play at that game mate.”

I looked at him in disbelief, “but what were you doing in the pub on a Wednesday night? Thursdays is your night”

“Doghouse” he replied,” I was just trying to be nice to Rose, I found an old bracelet in the drawer, it belonged to my Nan, I just thought it would be nice to have some of the family trinkets, but I should have read the inscription first”.

“Oh, was it from your Grandad, saying something personal?”

“No” He said, “much worse than that, It read Do Not Resuscitate”.

Well that kept a smile on my face for the rest of the day. As I prepared the next job on Mrs H’s ever – growing list.

This involved sanding down a great piece of timber which would replace an MDF top on the fireplace in the dining room, this was soon done, stained up, the fireplace altered and the new top in-situ.but some lazy sod hadn’t painted behind the existing mirror so that was more work, Mrs H is very meticulous about her décor, I blame Mrs Hinch, it has to be spot on and blend in, I’m sure if I put the mouse traps out tonight she would want me to co-ordinate them so they matched the existing colours, she’ll be asking me to paint them next!

There were a further 18965 new cases today plus another 138 deaths due to this coronavirus, it certainly getting worse and now the Mayor of Manchester is arguing with the Government about the terms of the lockdown, I didn’t realise there was any argument to be had.

Friday 16/10/2020 – Day 215

Had this in my email box this morning,

Dear (no name)

We have good news and bad news for you today.

The good news is that the item we’ve requested for your has been verified. Since our Prime Days ended yesterday, we need to get your reply latest by the end of today by replying our feedback form you will find here.

The bad news is, since we were expecting your feedback yesterday, we had to exchange your new free item. But the new selection is no less interesting. 😉

I emailed them back suggesting that they learn the Queens English before trying to detach me from my hard- earned cash.

At last! I was going in to the repair shop for my own work and not Mrs H’s jobs, I have had the timber for about ten days now to build a wooden timber rack in order to keep all my timber neat. I did price them up online, I couldn’t see one for less than £200 and most were around £300! It took most of the day but it was well worth it, the place is so much tidier now, trouble is – I am now at the mercy of Mrs H.

To cheer up my neighbours in these dark and despondent cold nights I have erected a Marquee in my garden, complete with flashing lights, funky music and a lit-up dance floor, I have decided that this is the Winter of my Disco Tent!

Had Boris on Tv at 4.30. I am still trying to work out why. He was joined by Patrick Vallance who is still saying that he doesn’t think the measures being applied today are enough to get the ‘R’ rate down, the outspoken Chris Whitty was absent. So, poor Boris is fighting 2 stand-offs at the moment, one against Brussels (The PM is threatening a ‘No Deal’) and of course Andy Burnham the Greater Manchester Mayor who is still refusing to budge.

Mrs H was complaining about some of the new rules and what they mean to her, part of the new ruling says that if you dine out you can only have six friends, it must be table service, and must finish by 10.00pm, that’s not fighting a pandemic, that’s a hard night out for Mrs H at her age!

There were 15650 more new cases recorded today, but sadly the number of deaths was once again in excess of 130 and was just two less than yesterday at 136.

Saturday 17/10.2020 – Day 216

Not a bad morning today, no sun but it’s quite mild outside, now that I have caught up with all my own little jobs it’s time to start thinking about putting the garden to sleep for the Winter, well, when I say the garden, what I really mean is the vast amount of furniture that actually sits in the garden and believe me  – there is a lot of it, so it all has to be gathered up and put undercover in the big gazebo, then we cover it with a large tarpaulin until the Spring is once again with us.

On this day in 1860 thousands of widows were automatically created when the world’s first professional golf tournament was held, at Prestwick in Scotland.

Which reminds me there are just 67 days to go until Christmas, that means only 66 days shopping – if we aren’t in lockdown by then, and if Christmas isn’t cancelled altogether. (It’s being so happy that keeps me going!) there is so much that can go wrong between now and then.

Here are two of my own personal view of what’s wrong with this great country today, (1) if you take out a loan at a bank it will take you thirty years to pay it back, but, if you decide to rob that same bank and bury the loot, you will be out in 10 years or five years for good behaviour, ps: don’t forget to follow me for more sound financial advice!

(2) Does anyone know where I can call to complain about gatherings and parties in my neighbourhood? I’m pretty sure gatherings of 70+ people is against the rule of six!! It is not fair that we are in a pandemic and they don’t even care about this virus. They have alcohol, a BBQ, a DJ playing extremely loud music and what smells to me like the devil’s lettuce. It makes me furious to think how many can get infected. Where can I call to report them?

Wait, false alarm…

They have just invited me…

Sorry to bother you all…

Have a great night!!!

With Christmas looming at a fair old pace, it means there are just 72 more days before we are free of the EEC one way or another! Boris announced yesterday that he is heading for a ‘No Deal’ scenario, the complacent Europeans are saying that we need them more than they need us! It’s one of those ‘suck it and see’ jobs I think.

I leave you this week with the news of a further 150 deaths and 16171 new cases, this brings the total of deaths to date to 43579 and the total infected this week in the UK to 705248.

That’s it for another week you lucky people, don’t forget my New book is still available. A Poetic Trip Along Memory Lane is £6.47 at Amazon, Poetry From The Heart is £5.49 and World War One In Verse is £4.99, all available at Amazon books or if you have Kindle then they are free.

Have a great week but most importantly, please stay safe in these dark days ahead.

It’s been emotional.