Diary of a self-isolator – week 29

A lighthearted look at a few memories and the situation over the last seven days in our house.

Sunday 20/09/2020 – Day 196

It’s a beautiful Autumnal day here in sunny Kidderminster, yes, the sun is out and there’s not a cloud in sight, but, don’t let that wonderful scene fool you, I just opened the back door and an Arctic chill forced me to shut it quickly, the central heating boiler shivered and fired up!

A really busy day in the repair shop yesterday, as you know I am boarding the interior to make it a bit cosier for working in, I am all ready for the electrician to come tomorrow and fix the new lights and the fronts on the sockets, then I have a whole week of moving stuff around in order to complete the other wall, But as Mrs H says ‘I love it’.

Saw one of those ‘Shape copiers’ on FB, you know the ones, you push it against whatever shape you want to copy then the needles give you the exact copy, anyway after my recent exchanges with the Chinese takeaway I didn’t bother, at £24’99 for the big one and £17.99 for the smaller version I decided I could live without this particular tool for the ‘man cave’.

A couple of hours later I was on Amazon and saw the same items, exactly the same size for £17.99 for the two! As I keep saying, do not buy off Facebook, it is always available at a cheaper price somewhere else.

On this day in1979 Gracie Fields, the Rochdale-born wartime singer, died aged 81, in Canzone Del Mare, Capri. Her most famous song was ‘Sally’ which she sang at nearly every performance she made from 1931 onwards. A statue of her was unveiled in her home- town of Rochdale on 18th September 2016 by Roy Hudd, who was President of the British Music Hall Society until his death on 15th March 2020.

Also on this day in 2016 The late Sir Terry Wogan (who died on 31st January 2016) was honoured in a special memorial service live in Westminster Abbey, on the 50th anniversary of his first BBC radio broadcast. Terry was brilliant, but he was like Marmite, you either loved him or hated him, I personally miss the dry wit, the banter and the exchanges between him and his co-presenters, oh yes, I miss the Janet and John tales as well.

A lot of you seemed to like the garden pictures I put on this week, had some lovely comments from you, we want to a video but we are not very good at that sort of thing and Mrs H wants you all to see the garden in its full glory ie.  in flower!

After my win of £200 on the local lottery draw last week using the year I was born,  (52) our granddaughter Alisha only won £200  this week using Mrs. H’s date (55), brilliant eh!

There were a further 5693 new cases announced in the past twenty-four hours, also another 17 deaths.

Monday 28/09/2020 – Day 197

Not a bad day today, still a bit ‘nippy. Out there but I can live with that. Electricians popping along later to finish off the new wiring in the repair shop (garage). Then I just have to finish off the right-hand side cladding of the walls and paint it out I will then to be able to hang my tools where I need them and my repair shop will become the ‘best room’.

Speaking of best rooms, did your Mum have one?, I came from a large family of four brothers and five sisters and we had a three-bedroomed council house in a street away from the main estate. Inevitably at first, this meant ‘topping and tailing’ in two very big double beds which were covered in woollen blankets knitted by mum from bobbins my dad would bring home from work, In the Winter months old coats were usually thrown on as well for the extra warmth, that was the norm until in the early sixties my mum bought some bunk beds on the never-never, My eldest brother had by then joined the army (less crowded) so for four of us in one room (apart from the smell of my younger brothers socks) it was sheer bliss to be sleeping in your own space without having someone’s often unwashed feet under your nose.

So, with my Mum and Dad, there were at times a dozen of us in that house, downstairs we had a small hallway leading to a kitchen about twelve-foot square, this was where the whole family would congregate, we didn’t actually all eat together, we didn’t even have a dining table that I can remember. There was also a small room also about twelve- foot square, this is where the 12 of us sat and watched TV (not all together) and believe me – you didn’t need any heating on in the Winter!

Across the hallway was the ‘Best room’ or the posh room as we kids called it, this was mothers pride and joy, the place where all unknown visitors – basically, anyone who came to the front door – were guided and invited to sit, this room had a good ‘cleaning’ every Sunday morning, usually by one of my sisters. It would be decorated every three years and there weren’t many of us ever got to see the wallpaper!

It housed all Mum’s best furniture, a wonderfully comfortable three-piece suite, a glass cabinet full of glasses and glass items accumulated over the years, a table and four chairs (for 12 people?) and her pride and joy – a radiogram, The other thing that made it posh was that there wasn’t just linoleum on the floor – oh no, this was the best room –  there was a large square carpet that never quite reached any of the walls, so the lino would make up for the shortfall. Every Sunday after a good dusting the fire would be ‘laid’ with rolls of newspaper and bits of wood, the fire bucket would be filled all in readiness to be lit about 5.00pm to get the hot water for bath night.

My point is that the best room was by far the biggest room in the house, it stretched from back to front with a window either end, as I said there were twelve of us and yet the only time it was used over about 15 years was to give birth to one of my siblings! As soon as the birth was over the bed would be moved back upstairs and the room would revert to a place for visitors until the next arrival! So that room always had a slight smell of Johnson’s baby powder and that smell even now takes me back to those wonderful days.

Of course, eventually, as we all grew older the best room had to give way to us, the fire was lit on a more regular basis and some wonderful Christmases were spent in there, also Sunday afternoons watching Old Mother Riley, George Formby or some old classic films like Tommy Trinder in ‘The Bells Go  Down’.

I see the idiots out there have once again started panic buying, two of our local stores have had their shelves emptied of bread, toilet rolls and pasta, I remember last year, the only time we panic bought was when the landlord shouted last orders.

The number of both new cases and deaths fell in the last twenty – four hours, New cases were down to 4044 and deaths were thankfully down to 13, but let’s not get too complacent – these are weekend figures.

Tuesday 29/09/2020 – Day 198

Another sunny but quite cold day today. I was lay in bed at 5.45 am deciding on whether or not to get my old bones up and working when this thought came into my head – this time last year we were all looking forward to leaving the EU, now we’d just be grateful to leave the house! – on that thought I arose.

Had to do an order for Iceland last night as I went to the chest freezer in the shed and it was very low, I must say Iceland have improved their delivery service greatly, Mrs H and I ordered what we needed and chose the slot for today and it will be here by 12 midday when we go on Tesco’s we have to book 4 weeks in advance or starve!

I finished all the odds and ends in the Repair shop (garage) so, basically, that is one half of the space finished, I just had to paint it out which took me less than an hour, I must say it already feels quite a lot warmer in there, Tomorrow I will give the walls another coat and then I will have to start moving stuff around to complete the other half, but my lovely son has kindly offered to pop around Saturday morning and take any rubbish or unwanted items to the tip.

About two weeks ago we did a paint job on the surround of our pond which as you know holds jaws (Koi Carp) and about a dozen of his mates, on Mrs H’s orders I changed the colour from a Cotswold cream to a very pale grey, well I can only say that I may as well have painted a big H on the surface as they do for the helicopters, not for Harvey – we aren’t quite that vain yet – no, for the Heron that has started to watch my pond after about a two-year absence! The neighbours phoned us yesterday and said that the heron had been perched on their neighbours roof for quite a time having a staring contest with Jaws. Does anyone know where I can get a gun?

As feared, there has been a huge leap in the number of new cases they have shot up to 7143, the first time they have been over 7000, but the number of deaths recorded is even more alarming, they have gone up to 71 an increase of 58 on the previous day.

Wednesday 30/09/2020 – Day 199

Well here we are on the last day of yet another month and I don’t feel any safer than I did back at the beginning of March, a lot of water has passed under the bridge since then and sadly, a lot of people are no longer with us.

I must say it’s looking very Autumnal in our garden the Acers are starting to change colour ready to shed their leaves, the pigeon population has substantially decreased since the demise of our neighbours massive weeping willow, the poor little things have nowhere to park their feathery backsides and drop their business – oh dear, what a shame, never mind eh!

Mrs H has been through the house with a fine-tooth comb so to speak, she has been collecting assorted cobwebs on her Ken Dodd tickling stick, (which she did actually buy from a concert we went to see him in), the windows are spotlessly clean inside and out, the outside courtesy of the ladderless window cleaner who comes every month, he has one of those extensive window washers which use all sorts of chemicals. I remember my Mum using vinegar and the old News of the world, her windows used to sparkle. A good recipe is 2 cups water, 1/4 cup white vinegar, and 1/2 liquid soap (to get rid of the waxy film that might be on the window). A squirt bottle works best but you could also lightly dip your newspaper into a jar of cleaning solution if needed. Works even better on mirrors and windscreens, there, never say that I don’t help you, eat your heart out Mrs Hinch!

But I digress, where was I – the problem with me is that I am capable of actually forgetting what I’m doing while I’m doing it – oh yes, the light of my life is cleaning everything that doesn’t move which is my excuse to continue converting my garage into a proper workshop.

After a particularly dusty afternoon, I was threatened within an inch of my life if I went into the house after Mrs H had top and bottomed it, I changed in the garage as I quite like my privates where they are, after a quick shower I sat and had a can, I’ve cut down on my Guinness lately, I just have one now before I go to bed – I went to bed seven times last night

Boris did an update on the very serious Covid situation today, ably helped by his two very worried looking friends Chris Witty and Patrick Vallance, this is the first time he has appeared on the podium for months, so he is obviously taking heed of the people who are saying they have no idea what is going on and those who say they don’t understand the new rules, Boris also informed us that these announcements will again become more regular. I don’t know why but as I listened to him this old proverb came to mind:

The forest was shrinking but the trees kept voting for the axe
for the axe was clever and convinced the trees
that because his handle was made of wood
he was one of them (Turkish proverb)

I switched over to the news on ITN and thought I was watching a new episode of Spitting Image, but it was only Donald Trump and Joe Biden squaring up to each

Other, very comical actually.

Once again, the new cases figure is over 7000, there were 7108 cases reported, but once again the death toll was at 71, they are reporting that the number of hospital admissions is also on the increase.

Thursday 01/10/2020 – Day 200

It doesn’t seem like five minutes since I was last saying that I hoped you all said ‘White Rabbits’ three times this morning, So here we are in the tenth month and just 85 days away from Christmas unless of course things are so bad that Boris does an Oliver Cromwell and bans it this year. (that miserable git Cromwell banned it for thirteen years until the restoration of the Monarch in 1660, there you are, another snippet from the useless information department).

We are also coincidently also on Day 200, if someone had said to me back in March that I would be almost isolated for the next 200 days, I would have laughed at them, yet here we are.

Talking about miserable gits Mrs H has been trying to give away some really rich topsoil which my son had dug out of a job he was doing, the respondents want to know how much there is, has it been bagged, can he deliver, I mean, it is there for free and they wouldn’t mind Mrs H barrowing it round to their house for them, unbelievable! Some miserable old man came, took ten bags and didn’t even say thank you, I reckon it was the children’s entertainer from Hi De Hi.

Here’s a joke to cheer you all up, An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walked into a bar – those were the days eh!

George called in on his way back from the town looking really glum again, I must say he hasn’t really looked happy since his new girlfriend Rose decided to move in to ‘look after’ him.

“Morning George, you look like you’ve lost a pound and found a penny, everything alright?”

He pulled his bright pink spotted mask down, “It’s just been announced that anyone returning from Iceland has to self-isolate for 14 days, – I only went in for some frozen chips”.

“No George, it doesn’t mean..”

Luckily Mrs H came out and stopped the conversation.

As you know I live in Kidderminster in Worcestershire, our town has always been a market town for nearly 800 years when a fair and a market was first held here. So, on a Tuesday and Thursday, we had a Cattle Market when farmers from all over the Midlands came to sell their stock. On Thursday and Saturday, it was the main market which was held indoors in the centre of the town, It was a formidable building with three separate entrances, it was in reality – the beating heart of the town. These markets made Kidderminster one of the most visited towns in the Midlands, on Thursdays the streets were jam-packed with people from all over the place.

I used to go to the market on a Saturday up those impressive steps and through the grand arched entrance, it was a wonderful place for any youngster, but I would head straight to the stall where I could swap my comics and books for a penny. There was a chap nearby who sold crockery, full tea sets, and he would juggle with them, throw them from arm to arm, bang them on the tabletop, he was brilliant and I used to stand there for hours just watching him’

Sadly, the heart has been ripped out of our town in the last sixty years, all we have now is a street market on a Thursday and Saturday, but the atmosphere is nothing like those heady days of the sixties.

The new cases dropped below 7000 today, but only just, there were 6914 cases reported also 59 more deaths.

Friday 02/10/2020 – Day 201.

Well, it’s as ‘dull as dishwater’ out there today, it is already pizzitively possing down, and apparently storm Alex is set to smash Britain this weekend bringing flash floods and 65mph gales from northern France. It’s bad enough that they send their snails over here expecting us to eat them, but really bad weather is the last straw

The UK will be hit with a 900-mile wide “Atlantic torment” from Thursday to Saturday as we move into a wet and windy October.

A bit of British History from this day, In1925 London’s first red buses with roofed-in upper decks went into service, but they had been in use in Widnes, Cheshire, since 1909. A bit like the well – known fact that the Irish invented the toilet seat – but the English put a hole in it!

1909 The first rugby football match was played at Twickenham, between Harlequins and Richmond, it changed from football after ‘Mountain Man’ a 24 stone Harlequin player fell on the football and squashed it. No-one was brave enough to argue with him.

1991 Ron Chassidy (who had been jailed for not paying his poll tax) was released after a ‘whip-round’ at his local pub so that he could play in a dominoes match! Nobody had a ‘whip-round’ for me when I refused to pay for my round!

Been in the nice dry repair shop (garage0 most of the day, I have one section to finish and I will have converted a cold draughty concrete sectional garage into a nice cosy place to work in all weathers, not bad for a crotchety 68-year-old.

Saw this job advertised in our local paper:

Carpenter wanted urgently, cabinet falling apart apply 10 Downing street, no tools needed, the building is full of them.

I’m going to have a nice relaxing evening in the office (back bedroom) and hopefully compose a couple of poems, I have sadly neglected my poetry of late, problem is that with four facebook sites to run it doesn’t leave me much spare time, so I do my writing either late at night or very early in the morning. Will seriously have to think about giving one of the sites up  I think.

Just heard on the news that Donald Trump has caught Coronavirus, he has to self-isolate for two weeks with his wife Melanie, that poor woman, stuck in a room with him for a fortnight!

Another 6968 new cases reported in the last 24 hours, the death numbers sadly continue to rise, today they are at 66.

Saturday 03/10/2020 – Day 202

Mrs H was woken this morning with the sound of a text coming in, I have to say at this stage that I had already been up a couple of hours, It was our Granddaughter Alisha, she had secretly been to Worcester to take her driving theory test, after a couple of failures she decided not to tell anyone, the reason for her text was to say she had passed – with flying colours, just a shame that there was no way to celebrate.

You know I said earlier this week that Mrs H was going through the house with a fine-tooth comb, well, the results are in! Cast your mind back to mid – March when the dear lady produced a list of ‘jobs to do’ while I was on furlough, if you recall that list kept growing, even when I had completed jobs, new ones seem to appear, so I nicknamed it the ‘Pinocchio’ list.

Well, the list has once again reared its ugly head, Whilst going through every room in the house Mrs H has compiled a list so long that it makes the list from March look like a stroll in the park.

Among the jobs is the ‘turning of the peninsular in the kitchen area, it is called a peninsular because it is attached to the wall, therefore it follows that it can’t be an island as you can walk all around an island.

This little matter has always peeved the lovely Mrs H, she caught me on a particularly good day on Tuesday, everything was going well with the Garage conversion and I was feeling pretty pleased with my days work, in short dear reader – I was caught off guard, I had an inkling that something was on her mind, but I had been played, that lady is a lot better woman than I will ever be a man.

But I AM a man, not a mouse, I put my foot down with her, I said that none of those jobs will be done until I have finished the repair shop on Monday – that told her!

I have been in the garage all day finishing off the cladding and once everything is put back in place I will be as snug as a bug in a rug over Winter, I can now confidently say that it is no longer a garage, it is now officially a repair shop and from herein will be known as such, not that I’ll be spending much time in there with the list of indoor jobs my little precious has lined up for me.

Can’t believe people letting fireworks off already! It’s way too soon, our cat’s so scared he’s hiding under the Christmas tree

Speaking of Christmas, are you thinking of getting some little stocking fillers? You could do worse than purchase one of my books from Amazon

1. A Poetic Trip Along Memory Lane (all poems about the fifties and sixties) £6.47.
2. Poetry From The Heart (A mixture of poetry I’ve written in the last 5 years, £5.49
3. World War One In Rhyme. (A collection of poems telling the story from the outset to when it is all over) £4.99

All are free if you have Amazon Kindle. They would all make wonderful stocking fillers as most are full of memories.

For some unknown reason, there were no Covid results available for the last 24 hours. I found out later that due to a ‘Technical issue’ the results for the last 14 days had been wrong, this means that the results for the next few days will be higher than normal, today’s figure for new cases is 12871, that’s some technical issue, isn’t it? There were also a further 49 deaths. I understand that those figures are true.

Well, dear readers, that’s me for another week, I hope you.ve enjoyed the banter, if you have then tell your friends.

It’s been emotional! God willing I’ll be with you next week, and hey – let’s stay safe out there.