Diary of a self-isolator – week 20

A lighthearted look at a few memories and the situation over the last seven days in our house.

Sunday 26/07/2020 – Day 133

The weather today is neither here nor there, it is the type of day for sitting in and watching films on TV as I used to when I was knee high to a grasshopper.

Films back then all tended to be in Black and White, this was probably down to the fact that colour TV wasn’t discovered until the late sixties, The first official colour programme on BBC1 was a concert by Petula Clark from the Royal Albert Hall, London, broadcast at midnight on 14/15 November 1969. But you have to go back two more years for the first proper broadcast. As he faced the South African Cliff Drysdale in the fourth round, Roger Taylor stepped on to the centre court and into the history books.

The match was the first at Wimbledon to be televised in colour, and the first colour broadcast anywhere in Europe. It marked the start of regular colour transmissions on BBC2, even though only a few families could see them as intended.

But as I said, Sunday afternoons for us were in black and white and included films like ‘Old Mother Riley Mp’ or ‘Old Mother Riley signs up’, another favourite was Formby whose catchphrase ‘Turned out nice again’ was in almost every film.

Trouble with wintry or rainy  Sunday afternoons was that we would sometimes get pocket money which was spent immediately on sweets at the only shop open in the district, the other problem was that I had four brothers and five sisters and believe me if you haven’t sat in a small room with six or seven siblings chomping their way through pineapple chunks and pear drops then you really haven’t lived, we had to have the 12 inch television up full blast just to hear it, then the picture would start to roll and – well you may as well have given up. Fortunately by the time ‘Mantovani’ came on with his full orchestra everyone except the old man would make a dash for the door.

It was about 1980 and we were in the Video shop (as everyone did back then) searching for a couple of films to hire out over he weekend, Mrs H and myself opted for a horror film called ‘The Amityville Horror, while our two children at the time who were seven and five years old opted for a cartoon called ‘Fritz the Cat’, we were making our way to pay when someone came over to us and said;

“Is that cartoon film for you?”

“No, Why?” I asked

“Because it’s an adult cartoon, full of sexual scenes” he replied

Needless to say – it went back on the shelf and we have been left wondering for years if our seven year old son actually knew what the content was as he had invited all his friends round on the night.

Well, it hasn’t stopped raining for most of the day, July so far has been a real washout

George phoned up earlier today sounding quite miffed, he said;

“My lad had a job interview yesterday, after looking through his CV the sales manager handed him his laptop,”

“I want you to try and sell this to me.” He said.
“So he tucked it under his arm, and walked out of the building to go home.”
“The angry sales manager called his mobile,

“Bring it back here right now!”
“My lad said, “£100 and it’s yours.”

“very enterprising” I said, “How did he get on?”

“He’s up in front of the magistrates tomorrow”

Problem with George is that he lives in a world of his own making.

Mrs H and I ended a long boring day with a glass of wine and our feet up, both of us constantly yawning with boredom. Nevertheless a good way to end our 19^th week in isolation.

14 new deaths reported today with 745 new cases registered.

Monday 27/07/2020 – Day 134

Today we start our twentieth week in isolation on a more sombre note.

Mrs H and I were both up very early this morning, today would have been our daughter Victoria’s 31^st birthday so it’s always a bit sad. If you recall last week I told you that Vickie (my profile picture) was at our wedding renewal because she was in remission. I know for a fact that had she not been there it wouldn’t have gone ahead.

She was diagnosed with AML ‎(Acute Myeloid Leukemia) the previous year, but after a donor was found she was given a transplant on Christmas day 2012,  It worked and by May 2013 she was in remission, As you know, the wedding went really well, the whole family was over the moon. I have always had the strongest feeling that she was given a few months of respite to be there for our wedding renewal. Everything was fine until September that year when we took her to her regular clinic and we were told that it had returned, desperate months followed and despite the odds she fought very bravely, there are a lot of things happened – good and bad – that one day I will be brave enough to put into words, but for now it is still too raw and upsetting for us all. We lost Vickie on the 10^th December 2013.  There were over 600 people at her funeral and we miss her dearly every day. It’s only our love for each other that has allowed us to survive, thankfully we have a very strong family and birthdays etc are now seen as a celebration of her short life and not a mourning of our loss. Although, for Mrs H and myself anniversery’s involving her are always upsetting.

Our day started with a Mcdonalds Muffin breakfast which our Daughter Sarah accompanied by Granddaughter Mollie brought around for us, very enjoyable even though I had already eaten my standard 4 weetabix. The weather was as miserable as ever with heavy downpours all day.

About 2.00pm the dreaded doorbell rang, Mrs H opened the door to a nice gentleman who had 2 tonne of Forest of Dean  gravel on his wagon, this is the same gravel people  I had phoned last Friday and asked them to move the delivery to Wednesday, which I explained to the driver, at a safe distance of course, not because of the coronavirus but simply because he looked like he could handle himself.

“Who did you speak to?” he asked grumpily.

“ I have no idea, just a young lad” I replied

“ Eddy, that’ll be bloody Eddy then, ok, I’ll take this lot back and I’ll see you

Wednesday”

He wandered away scrunching up his paperwork, mumbling something incoherent, but I swear I heard the word Eddy at least twice.

By the time the rest of the family joined us around 6 o clock it had brightened up a little, I donned my brand new ‘Eric’s top BBQ’ apron and fired her up for the first time this year, sausages and burgers were the order of the day and the family managed to eat everything I cooked, which was a bit of a result really.

We sat around having a drink and chatting, then at about eight o clock it was time for the toast, I don’t mean that burnt black stuff you have for breakfast but a drinks toast to Vickie.

It seems that she was quite partial to a Jager Bomb (pronounced yayger) The Jager bomb is a very popular bomb shot cocktail, originally made from a mixture of Red Bull and Jagermeister. It has an unusual taste which some liken to cough syrup and gives you a “boost” from the alcohol-caffeine combination. Treat this one with respect- it’s easy to have one too many as the Red Bull offsets the depressant effect of the alcohol content.

Needless to say the youngest in the family had coca cola.

By 8.30 it is another tradition to let off balloons (bio degradeable) with a shout of ‘happy birthday Vickie as they soar into the evening sky.’

Seven new deaths today with 695 new cases.

Tuesday 28/07/2020 – day 135

A great improvement in the weather today, where have all the past weeks gone? So much has happened and so much has changed.

‘Bouncer’ the visiting mirror bird has gone off to a better climate, either that or he has started a family – in which case we can expect bouncer junior around anytime now. The Robins had a couple of baby’s that we now see regularly in the garden, especially when we’re digging.

And finally Pinocchio has at last disappeared, do you remember Mrs H’s list of jobs, that just grew and grew so I nicknamed them affectionately Pinocchio, Having said that I feel he may make a return for the pantomime season in the Winter when Mrs H and myself are forced inside and she starts looking around.

Got my grandson Mason round here today, now, wait for it, I have actually started on the last job in the garden (Huh?) that roof which has been staring at me and wearing me down for 135 days is going to be removed today. When this is finally done it represents the last big job of this year, I can sit back, relax and write my poetry in peace, well, to be quite honest – I have more chance of knitting fog, but then, it’s my own fault, I do like to have a bit of a Harry Potter.

Anyway, I digress, Mason is here to save my short fat hairy legs from getting tired too soon, ie, walking up and down ladders. So I take the existing timber off and pass it to Mason, he cleans it up by removing any screws, mastic (sticky stuff) etc, the reason for this is that absolutely nothing is wasted in the Harvey household, we don’t go as far as hanging out used tea bags to dry, but that feather edge board is exactly what I need at the rear of the corner Summer house.

The lad had only been here an hour when Mrs H (his Nan) came trundling down the garden clutching bacon sandwiches and steaming hot mugs of tea, neither of us had even broke into a sweat!

We knocked off (finished work) around 3.30, I had achieved what I needed and Mason had a few more bob towards his up and coming camping trip with his mates, he is returning tomorrow to help me spread the gravel as Mrs H has miraculously got herself a glass back from somewhere (probably ordered it online) so is incapable of handling a shovel bless her!

The number of deaths has risen sharply to 119 with 581 new cases today.

Wednesday 29/07/2020 – Day 136

It’s a bit overcast today so I spent the first four hours of my day writing, I had phoned yesterday to enquire when the gravel for the drive would be arriving, they had already sent it once – on the wrong day – so I thought it best to ask! The chap on the other end of the phone assured me that we were down for a late afternoon  delivery, so I busied myself trimming the excess and needless leaders from the grape vine where we wanted to refresh the gravel. I had my new best mate Mason plucking out the tiny weeds that were popping up from the driveway.

It was a nice laid back morning, plenty of time to prepare the driveway for the new stuff, so we sat having a nice leisurely cup of tea – then the phone rang as Mrs H  (a lot fitter than me) ran into the house to answer it;

Man      Is that Mrs Harvey?

Mrs H   Yes

Man      It’s deliveries here, your gravel will be with you in 20 minutes.

This was at 11.20, what on earth happened to the late afternoon delivery?, so now we had a mad dash to get everything done before the gravel was tipped, Mrs H parked next door and I frantically pulled back the old gravel from the front of the drive while Mason was on his hands and knees plucking out unwanted growth.

Sure enough the driver arrived and tipped his load, as he drove off the drive Mrs H and I looked at each other thinking ‘that doesn’t look enough’. But, we got on with it anyway, Mason and myself doing our impressions of Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble while Wilma (Mrs H ) brought out the cold drinks. I have to admit though, Mrs H did have a go on the shovel, but she may as well have used a teaspoon for the amount she was transferring on it. Having said that – she did make a lovely job of the area beneath the grapevine. The pile was now getting lower and lower and it was obvious that we would need another tonne, so it was straight on the phone and it will be with us next Monday.

I sent Mason home, two hours of constant shovelling was more than enough for anyone’s body, young or old. After an hours rest I got out the ladders and painted the badly stained porch roof with some special paint I’d found on t’internet, the result was a brand new roof, so the front of the house was now looking stunning – except for the gravel missing by the gateway, which Mrs H kindly hid with the car.

A further 83 deaths in the last 24 hours with an increase of 763 new cases.

Thursday 30/07/2020 – Day 137

Woke up this morning (thank the Lord) and at 6.00 am it was already too warm which leads me to believe we British are a right whingeing bunch when it comes to the weather, it’s either too hot, too cold or raining.

Got my mate Mason coming round to help me finish off the hard part of the roof, but it really was very hot! We got through it as quick as we could and got off the roof before we both caught sunstroke. All I have to do is felt it and we will once again be able to leave the cushions out on a rainy night.

Of course for all you football fans out there (I am not amongst them, I am strictly Rugby Union and Cricket) today is the 54^th anniversary of England winning the World Cup, probably about the last time I sat and watched a full football match. I was just 14 years old and never been kissed (total lie lol) and we sat in our best front room watching lots of little figures in black and white running around chasing a round thing. After 135 minutes it was all square after a chap called Weber scored the equaliser in the 90^th minute – oh the pain!

So, we were in extra time, 11 minutes into the first 15 Geoff Hurst scored and the roars were heard back in West Germany, then a hushed silence with the exception of Oo’s and aaaah’s at the near misses.

Finally, the most famous quote in the world on the 120^th minute;

And here comes Hurst! He’s got…

(Wolstenholme is distracted by some of the crowd spilling onto the pitch)

Some people are on the pitch! They think it’s all over!

(Geoff Hurst scores to put England two goals ahead)

It is now, it’s four!

I wrote a poem about that day.

Elsie and Nelly in 1966

I remember old Elsie and Nelly
they frequented the Rose and Crown,
Elsie drank bottles of Guinness
while Nelly drank bottles of Brown
followed by a whiskey chaser to wash it all down.

Well, the world cup was on in sixty six
when Elsie was near eighty two,
That day England played the Germans
they both dressed in red white and blue
because those girls were British, through and through.

‘They destroyed our new fish shop’ said Nelly
‘Who’s they?’ came Elsie’s reply,
‘The Germans’ said Nell, ‘Knocked it down flat
with a buzz bomb from way up high,
if the engine hadn’t stopped it’d have passed right by’.

‘That’s how they were made’ said Fred from nowhere,
as he puffed on his pipe in the snug,
‘They were made to drop on London
and were known as a doodle bug
I fought in that war’ he said, giving his shoulders a shrug

‘He never left these shores’ whispered Nelly
as the TV on the bar flickered and rolled,
‘He was in the catering call,
His food was never hot, always cold
Killed more with his cooking I was told’.

A massive groan went up in the bar
Germany had scored a goal,
But Nelly continued unperturbed,
‘Used to cook with hands as black as coal
never knew what was in his casserole!’

Then came another roar from the bar
Geoff Hurst had just levelled the score,
A lovely header back of the net
The whole of Wembley was in uproar
At half time the Royal Marines gave an encore.

‘I do like a man in uniform’  Elsie said
‘A man who can play a good tune.’
For fifteen minutes the band played on,
then the second half came all too soon
On that warm July sunny afternoon.

Both teams were cagey from the start
for a time nothing happened at all,
Except Elsie and Nelly went off to the loo
Just as Martin Peters kicked the ball
And the German goalkeeper missed his call!

Two one to England thirteen minutes to go,
Most of the players could feel the pain,
Jack Charlton gave a free kick away
and the Germans could see the gain
With fifteen seconds to go they scored again!

Elsie and Nelly returned from the loo
‘What’s going on has it turned out nice?’
‘It’s a draw extra time’  Fred mentioned
‘We should have won easy to be concise’
‘Don’t worry’ said Nelly we’ve beaten them twice

So extra time started, Charlton hit the post,
Then his next shot on goal went wide,
England scored a controversial goal,
Had the Russian linesman lied?
When he said the rebound hit the line inside.

But the Ref took his word, the score was three two
Geoff Hurst took a well deserved bow,
The frustrated Germans all went forward
Geoff Hurst kicked the ball and how,
Straight into the net, ‘They think it’s all over – it is now’!

Nelly took off her draws waving them in the air
Said. ‘Come on Else let’s have a sup’
The dancing went on until the wee hours
This story is true would I sell you a pup?
The day Elsie and Nelly watched the World cup

38 new deaths recorded today, but new cases rose sharply to 846.

Friday 31/07/2020 – Day 138

It wasn’t a bad night actually, considering how hot it had been, but yesterday had been a walk in the park compared with the 36 degrees expected today! I got up at 6.30 with the full intention of finishing the roof, but when I opened the back door and the heat hit me – I almost passed out!

So it was decided very early in the morning that I was going to do zilch, zero, nothing at all.

I was sat with Mrs H supping from a bottle of Old Speckled Hen when I remembered the christening of our first child and how I got it so terribly wrong.

Before the baptism, the vicar approached me and said quietly, “Baptism is a serious step. Are you sure you’re prepared for it?”
“I think so,” I replied. “Mrs H has made appetisers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of sandwiches and cakes for all of our guests.”
“I don’t mean that,” the Vicar snapped. “I mean, are you prepared spiritually?”
“Oh, yes,” I replied. “I’ve got 2 kegs of beer and a case of Jack Daniels.”

I don’t know why but Friday nights always bring back to my memory of TV cowboys, perhaps it’s because in those days we would be put to bed at 6.30, in the Summer months my Mum used to put up black out curtains to keep the sun out of the bedroom, but it was terrible listening to all your mates playing in the streets. Back then I slept in a room with three other younger brothers, we had bunk beds, Mum used to say to me ‘Get them off to sleep and you can come back downstairs and watch the TV for an hour, I reckon this is where my storytelling came from lol. I made them up by the dozen!

Growing up in the fifties and sixties the main talk in the playground at my school was inevitably about the cowboy shows on TV. If you had a birthday or if it was Christmas and you were lucky you would without doubt get a cowboy outfit complete with a pair of pistols that fired caps.

If you attended the Minors on a Saturday morning you would come out two hours later slapping your backside and riding a pretend horse in pursuit of the baddies, that was it you see – you were always a goody and never a baddie.

This of course was influenced by the amount of TV shows and films being shown at that time, shows like Rawhide, with the relatively unknown Clint Eastwood as Rowdy Yates, Wagon Train with Ward Bond, Cheyenne with Clint Walker, Bonanza with Lorne Green and Michael Landon, Sugarfoot starring Will Hutchins, Bronco with Ty Hardin, Gunsmoke with James Arness, Laramie with Robert Fuller, The Lone Ranger with Clayton Moore and Jay Silverheels as Tonto. As you can see – the list is endless and we – as children lived every one of them in the playgrounds of the late fifties early sixties.

There were 120 more deaths today with 880 new cases, the government applied new restrictions in the North East after there was a dramatic increase in new cases.

New proposals of the easing of restrictions due to start tomorrow have been shelved.

Saturday 01/08/2020 – Day 139

Well we are into the eighth month of the year and hardly any Summer to date, hope you all said white rabbits three times this morning, or whatever you do in your area to welcome a new month. I turned on the radio this morning to this news;

‘The search for the man who terrorises Nudist Camps with a Bacon Slicer, goes on….

Chief Inspector Jones from the West Mercia CID, had a tip off this morning…

he hopes to be back on duty as soon as possible…’

The other news is that it’s only 20 weeks or just 146 days to Xmas, just thought I’d cheer you all up.

Today is a shameful day for the BBC when over 3 million people over 75 in the UK lose their right to a free TV license unless you’re one of the 1.5 million on Pension credits, yet they continue to waste the license money on ‘stars’ like Gary Linekar who does about 4 hours per week for around £1.75 million per year,although, to be fair he has offered to take a pay cut. What was once a great institution has now become a money orientated organisation and I’m with scrapping the license fee altogether.

We have a little visitor over the weekend, Our youngest Grandson Hatton is staying with us until tomorrow, but by the amount of stuff he’s lugging, he intends to stay a lot longer, He has brought his X box, copious amounts of snacks and enough clothes to last until Winter, but he is very welcome.

I’m going to attempt to finish my roof now it’s a bit cooler.

With Good fortune, a good wind and God willing – I’ll see you all next week.

It’s been emotional!