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Funeral - what would you do?

So - we have just heard that my MIL is critical & may not last the night.


She lives further away than we could drive there & back in a day, and there is really no point in my OH driving up tonight - my MIL has been away from reality for about 8 years - she does not know what C19 is, which in a way is rather a blessing.


With the lockdown restrictions, my OH had booked with the care home to see her next week - the earliest they would allow, but alas, probably too late now. (He had also booked to stay in a hotel overnight, because of the distance.) But - and I'm going to sound awful here - but, I really don't want to go to her funeral, because of the travelling & staying overnight. My SIL & her OH came to my mother's funeral, but that was 20 mins drive and before C19. I would say, has anyone here had a similar experience, and what did they do, but I don't think that would be the case, as the restrictions on funeral numbers have only just been lifted.


But all advice would be welcome (even/especially if it's telling me not to be such a wuss).


Created By on 27/05/2021

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WHT
14th Feb 2022 11:35:27
0
Thanks for voting!
Who attends a funeral is entirely up to the individual. Irrelevant of family and what they think. Is entirely the individuals choice on what they do, Some people prefer to remember the person as they knew them not as how they are now. It's hard but it's entirely up to the individual. You can arrange to say your last goodbyes in your own way. It's hard when reality hits and you feel 'obliged' but is how YOU want to remember them.
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PerfectNumber Original Poster
4th Feb 2022 07:57:27
2
Thanks for voting!
Yes, I did go in the end - my lovely offspring (who had to take time off work) also came. I am happy she is resting in peace now.
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Crickette
21st Nov 2021 16:23:19
0
Thanks for voting!
Since the onset of COVID I do not go to funerals. Many people who have done so have caught the disease and died after going to a funeral, because everyone is not vaccinated. Whole families have nearly been wiped out. If my husband who is quite ill passes, there will be no funeral. It's too risky for others. There are other ways to be supportive: emails, letters, phone calls, etc. In the dark of the night when the grief really hits, and in the following months the needs are greater than at the initial funeral. The ongoing support is very needed. I have very few family members and friends who remain. Most have already passed. It's a lonely feeling. You are not being a wuss.
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CaroleAH
8th Jun 2021 09:30:34
2
Thanks for voting!
Although I can understand your feelings about travelling and staying away from home, surely your place is next to your husband to support him - he's just lost his Mother and no matter how "expected" this death was, it still comes as a shock to most people.
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