Hang Up
Hang Up
Press 1 if you’re a salesman
with windows to install.
Press 2 if it’s to tell me
I’ve won a dream- trip to Nepal.
Press 3 if you are offering
a cheaper price for gas.
Press 4 to hold forever,
while I go and mow the grass.
Press 5 if you would like to hear
an irritating tune,
then call again in thirty twelve
even that would be too soon.
Press 6 to hear this message
a thousand times or more;
to give you time to wonder
what it was you rang me for.
Then leave it 30 seconds
I suggest you count to ten.
Or better still – just bugger off
and please don’t call again.
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