Premonition

Premonition

I stood in respectful silence outside the Pearly Gate.
No sign of St Peter so I just had to wait.
When he did appear he simply said ‘go away….
We’re busy; we’re closed, having a stock check today’.
But where, I asked him, do you propose I go.
Well said the saint, there’s always ‘below….
There will be no waiting around at this time of day
So, that’s one option…..what do you say?

Well I swiftly replied, if you’re having a busy phase
Why not send me back to earth….just for a couple of days?
Now that IS unusual he said……so let me tell you man
I’m off to ask the boss…..I will be back when I can.
Just as Peter disappears, the devil arrives
Obviously hungry and looking for lives.
Hi Bro he says, are you waiting for me
For I can offer you much more than just eternity.

I was just about to tell him to F**** Off
When behind me I heard a gentle cough.
Hi Pete says the devil – hi devil says Pete.
I asked in amazement…how often do you two meet?
Just now and then was their joint reply
Cos it can get quite busy when lots of people die.
I asked who decides who says up or goes down
That will be the boss they said ‘him with the crown’.
It doesn’t really matter to us, says St Pete
As long as the devil gets enough to eat.
We just work out the numbers each day
When both saints and sinners come our way.

As they argued the numbers my apprehension grew.
The devil turned to me and said what’s to do.
That’s sorted said St Peter….we’ll extend his life
Send him back to his unfaithful wife
I’m sure she will give him a load of strife
For getting his blood on her favourite carving knife.
Ta’ra then said the devil….cheerio said Pete…..
We got a job lot coming Saturday; I’ll save you a seat.

With that I awoke, very much alive in my bed.
With all that had occurred still in my head.
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
I thought…..what a strange way to die.
Perhaps thing are not always just as they may seem
Had I had a premonition or a very weird dream?