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Watch this postWhat three top tips would you give to a friend of yours who has recently become a grandparent?
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Is it what we really want, or just our stupid pride
I'm going to be a granny I heard whilst on the bus
Don't be boasting women,don't make such a fuss.
So your going to be a granny,it will cost you,I'll be bound
Cots and prams and dummies they cost pounds and pounds
Your services will be required and you wan't have a say
Cos you'll be blooming babysitting every single day.
So your going to be a granny with obligatory car seat
You want have time to see your friends or have something to eat
The child will be demanding throw tantrums by the score
The terrible twos are looming,please don't have anymore.
So your going to be a granny to 2 or 3 or more
How many can you cope with,O! No, here comes number 4.
Grannies house is funny,she doesn't have a tele
And when we need to go the loo it really is quite smelly.
So your going to be a granny,have no time to yourself
By the time that you go shopping there's no food on the shelf
You'll be asked to keep the highchair as you have him more than me
It doesn't make sense me taking him,when you can give him tea.
I told my kids when they were young,I don't want to be a granny
Don't be bringing prams and cots I don't want to be a granny
Babysitting while you go to work,I don't want to be a granny
I hope by now you understand,I don't want to be a granny.
Never give advice.
Restrain yourself from boring other people with photos/stories.
Otherwise use enjoy every minute you can.
I see over and over again old people pushing prams up the road, the children as lovely as I am sure they are get confused who is the real parent. I also know of many grandparents who are totally exhausted by the end of a day looking after these babies and very young children, some doing so five days a week.. Yes it saves having them in child care, yet voids them truly bonding with their mothers... Many of whom go back to work to further their careers... why not just hang on a few years before carrying on work, those first 3 to 5 years are the most important of a child's life. Money, work or your children first....
I know this will not be a favored post and can see so many getting hot with rage, yet all research is showing just what I have posted. There is a time for grandparents, yet not used as full time baby sitters.......
I felt like a horrible person posting the above comment you kindly posted to. Yet it seems I am not alone... So many parents seem to think its a right to have children then pop off to work six months later saying its all fine and dandy the grandparents can fill the gaps and it wont cost us anything.
The grandparents feel totally obliged to take this on. Yes of course they love their grandchildren, want contact, however most days of the week is taking the bisket.... Its not right us oldies pushing prams down the road, trying to meet the needs of these so young children. I can only say if you out there are so willing to do all this, your life must be so boring you need to fill the gap..
Grandparents, stand up and be counted, let a mother, father, look after their own children the way it should be.
Thank you for your reply. You certainly did not come across as a horrible person but more of a straight forward person - a spade is a spade sort of person. I have never ever made any "bones" about that I only want the good times to be the "grannie" my children never had. I still work full time and have no intentions of retiring any time soon. I have a lovely partner in my life having been divorced from their dad for a long time. I have done my time of sleepless nights, teething, nightmares, homework ... and so on. I always tell the parents this is where you will build your memories of your family as I have of all of you when you were this age, that age and the next age... enjoy, enjoy, enjoy. Nobody nor anything can take these precious moments away from you however I, too, am entitled to a happy life filled with new memories and experiences.
I retired early, yet am slowly going mad with winter boredom, time to get a part time job I think.
Ha ha sorry darling..
My friend then met someone...
If one adds the extra holidays, the loan on a new car, the cost of using it for work, and spending what people don't have together it will most lightly be almost the ladies take home pay... so why not give up a few things for just a few years, get to know your children at the most important time of their lives, and stop trying to keep up with all your social friendships.......... its called greed and at the expense of grandparents good natures who feel obliged to do their duty... Or course some don't feel this way, yet if they are spending all their retirement time looking after babies and very young children you have to ask WHY are they not doing things with other people and enjoying retirement..... a big clue is written here maybe....
Consequently when, in turn, they died, I felt almost nothing, no sense of loss, no grief, and no regrets.
It was only when I became a grown up and had children and grandchildren of my own, who I loved and doted on, that I realised that, as a child, I had been cheated out of something very special.
2 Let the parents do the parenting even though they do not do it the way you like
3 Only help when ASKED.
Do not pretend to dote on grandchildren trying to bribe them with gifts etc is a waste of time. We have our oldest grandchild many years ago he is now 29 years old and other grandchildren as well, and there are even great-grandchildren so we speak from experience.
2 Hand them back as soon as possible.
3 Keep your hand on your wallet/purse.
Spend as much time building a relationship with your grandchild as you can, cuddles, kisses, hugs, playing with them.
Kids come first, if they want your attention, give it to them. It my not be important to you, but it is to them. 😀