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Looking or frienship

New here. Recently bereaved so looking for likeminded people to help and talk through things.


Created By on 01/02/2023

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jrwood25
4th Mar 2023 11:12:18 (Last activity: 5th Mar 2023 10:30:56)
0
Thanks for voting!
Lost my darling wife jut before Xmas who died of a brain tumour and i feel totally lost. We had such a great life and travelled to so many places throughout the world. We were married at 17 and spent the rest of our lives together. I am now in my early 70s but still fairly fit but the thought of traveling solo is not a thing I relish. We used to spent 2 months of the year in Portugal which we loved but I think thats all gone now. Have looked at singles holidays but they all seem for the younger people. Have been away for a few days in a Hotel but it's very strange without my wife.
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 4th Mar 2023 11:59:50
Hi jrwood25,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

Response from jrwood25 made on 4th Mar 2023 14:10:43 > @Sally - Silversurfer's Editor
Thanks will be looking forward to chatting to like minded people.
Response from Freeno21 Original Poster made on 4th Mar 2023 14:59:33 > @jrwood25
Sorry for your loss. Yes it is strange doing things alone. Guess we may eventually get some sense of normality back. Lost my husband unexpectedly in November. It's still early days in getting used to the changes in our lives.
Response from Leila Lesser made on 4th Mar 2023 16:45:45 > @jrwood25
I lost my husband in October 21. It was very sudden and a great shock.I was with my husband when I was 15 and he was 16? We were married for 61 years. I've got 2 sons,5 grandchildren and 8 great grandchildren. My son's don't live too far away from me. I live in Chingford which is a suburb of London. You were very brave to go away on your own. I don't think I could. Do you have children
Would be nice to chat with you.
All the best
Leila
Response from jrwood25 made on 4th Mar 2023 18:33:55 > @Leila Lesser
Hi Leila yes I have a son who lives about 10 miles away and two grandchildren 14 and 17 years.
We all used to have family holidays when they were a bit younger in Portugal but they are growing up now and the granddaughter is at college so has not got so much free time.
My late wife and I loved to travel and we took early retirement to visit some amazing places around the world which I miss. I still like to get away and feel being with people does help although dinning on your own not so good. Weather at the moment is not good so it's a bit restrictive but when it breaks I have my garden which will keep me busy and I love to walk. As I said I did get away for a 3 day break in Norfolk which was nice and walk by the sea was good
but very strange without my soulmate. I hope I can find a way to move on but know it will be difficult as we were together a lifetime .

John.
Response from jrwood25 made on 5th Mar 2023 09:37:53 > @Freeno21
hi
yes it is the strange emptiness after being with someone for a lifetime I miss sitting down to breakfast in the mornings and having someone there in the evenings when your just watching tv, going out to dinner and so much more. They tell me life must go on but it's going to be a big adjustment. But it's good to chat to people who understand what it is to lose a partner.

John
Response from Freeno21 Original Poster made on 5th Mar 2023 10:30:56 > @jrwood25
getting used to the silence is awful John, don't know if we ever will. Life has to go on but in a different way I guess. Big adjustments to be made but we can do it. Take care. Janet.
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Kansas65
14th Feb 2023 14:41:57 (Last activity: 4th Mar 2023 11:25:51)
0
Thanks for voting!
Sorry for your loss, and welcome I am also new here, wishing you a bright and wonderful day!
Response from Freeno21 Original Poster made on 20th Feb 2023 20:40:02
Thank you. Bright and wonderful days are rare at the minute but am sure that will improve. Enjoy your day (whenever that begins, not sure about time differences.)
Response from Freeno21 Original Poster made on 21st Feb 2023 22:36:07
Where are you in the US Kansas would like to know how life is treating you and explore how your life differs from ours "across the pond" lol. Need a little lightness in my life.
Response from Kansas65 made on 22nd Feb 2023 12:24:37
Top of the day to you Freeno, I hope your day is going well, As for where am I, Kansas is in the middle of the US and I live on the eastern edge of the state in Kansas City. Life is going ok, pretty much anyway. I am sure things here are about the same as over there. As I write this is is 6:20 AM where I live. The weather here has been anything but normal, today it is to get around 69 degrees and tomorrow they say it will be around 35 degrees. Our weather is like a roller coaster from one day to the next. I can understand that at times it might not be the brightest day we are having as I too have those as well. Maybe I am wierd but I always try and find a positive thing to focus on and try to turn my days around. While I know that doesn't always work I do try my best to follow that method. So what about you? where do you live there across the pond, and what are you up to? What do you enjoy doing?
Response from Freeno21 Original Poster made on 22nd Feb 2023 22:55:00 > @Kansas65
Good evening (where I am anyway) I live in Yorkshire and at the moment I am trying to find my new normality of living without my husband. I have thrown myself into my garden as my focus. I also love reading, anything and everything, like nature and water. I could spend all day by water, seas, oceans, lakes. It's just soothing. Just looked at time difference, so you should be (in England) teatime while I am at bedtime lol. It's not weird to find a focus, its what keeps us going. Thanks for taking the time to chat. I need things to brighten my day.
Response from Freeno21 Original Poster made on 22nd Feb 2023 22:57:15 > @Kansas65
Oh and did I mention I am a curious person, so now going to look at a map of the USA to pinpoint you lol!
Response from Freeno21 Original Poster made on 22nd Feb 2023 23:03:55
Just looked at maps, do you count as "deep South" bet you have a great accent!
Response from Kansas65 made on 23rd Feb 2023 13:02:48 > @Freeno21
Yes I agree, focus is not a bad thing and does help us move forward. I can understand about having a major adjustment. I too enjoy my garden and as soon as it warms up here I will be out and working in it for sure. No they consider Kansas the Mid-west as we are in the center of the US. Also understand about the water thing as I have always fround the sound of water to be very relaxing and enjoyable. As for the time difference lol yes it would seem that we are almost directly opposite as the time of day goes. I am always happy and open to chat and share things as I have always felt that one can not have too many aquaintances and is very nice to have diversity in knowing more about the different areas of the world. I shall sign off for now and wish you a bright and wonderful day ahead when you begin yours.
Response from Freeno21 Original Poster made on 23rd Feb 2023 19:42:04
Thanks Kansas, yes today has not been too bad. Enjoyed viewing my garden, though every time I look it adds another to do job on the list. The birds are getting busy nest building so they were a joy to watch. Still a bit too cold for me to linger long out there but nice to enjoy the signs of new life. I agree that making new friends is a positive and gives you focus. Nice to discover facts about different parts of the world, what is similar and what is different. Don't think I would cope well with your temperature fluctuations but bet you have some wonderful countryside around you. Our clocks will be moving forward soon so even more daytime to enjoy (do you change clocks over there?) Have a lovely day. Janet. (my real name)
Response from Kansas65 made on 24th Feb 2023 14:00:21
Well good morning there Janet, so glad to hear your day wasn't too bad. I do understand about everytime one goes out to their garden it seems we notice something new that needs to be done and increasing our todo list. But then again that is what makes our gardens so nice. Well you are not alone in not doing well with temperature fluctauations and it seems that it gets worse with each passing year for me. Yes we shall be moving our clocks ahead by an hour here in about a month, we call it daylight savings. Not sure it saves any real daylight but that is ok because it tells me warmer weather is around the corner. And my name is Steve and again I wish you a wonderful and bright day ahead.
Response from Freeno21 Original Poster made on 24th Feb 2023 20:30:44 > @Kansas65
Hi Steve. Had a really bad day today after a rough night trying to sleep. Just one of those days. Will bounce back and be positive tomorrow. Have a great weekend.
Response from Freeno21 Original Poster made on 26th Feb 2023 12:05:41 > @Kansas65
Hello everyone. Would be nice if we could form a chat group but don.t see a facility for that on here. Pretty sure everyone reads the responses so I will use Steve's post as the group one. I have had a pretty rough couple of days. My get up and go got up and went, but I have chased it down and informed it that I don't give in. Jackie, hope you are coping with the holes in your floor, will be worth it when you know you are dried out. Leila, hope you are finding ways to fill the giant void we have in our lives now. I have decided to go on virtual tours in my head. Was going to visit Steve first but sure he said his weather is as cold as ours at the moment so I will go on safari with Terry first. Having a good imagination helps so I can imagine my garden are the plains in Africa. Won't mind the lions but can block out the slithery things. Steve you will have to give me pointers for my virtual visit to you, David Attenborough hasn't done a series on wildlife in Kansas lol. Hope you all have a lovely day and that we can continue with our helpful chats. Looking forward to your replies. Janet.
Response from Freeno21 Original Poster made on 26th Feb 2023 22:34:33
Watched a programme about the Serengeti today. Wish I could get a passport and overcome my fear of the slithery things. The overland truck holds no fear for me. Better get saving up and sorting a passport then. What an adventure that would be!
Response from Freeno21 Original Poster made on 26th Feb 2023 22:47:20 > @Freeno21
Maybe the group attempt doesn't work then as can't see a response. I like our interactions so might have to go back to responding individually. Hope you all had a good day.
Response from Kansas65 made on 27th Feb 2023 13:06:04 > @Freeno21
morning Janet sorry to hear about your rough night but glad to see you have bounced back. Yes it would be nice to form a chat group. LOL yes my weather here is anything but great right now but spring is on its way and hope it will improve in the near future. Well first thing is you need to know that Kansas also has those slithery things so you will have to block them out on your vist here as well. But we do have very nice rolling hills, and tons of wildflowers and sun flowers. In fact the sun flower is our state flower. Hope you had a great weekend and may your week ahead be both brignt and wonderful.
Response from Freeno21 Original Poster made on 27th Feb 2023 20:55:55 > @Kansas65
sure I would love the countryside and flowers. I grow sunflowers with the grandkids, annual competition to grow the largest. Bet they aren't as spectacular as yours. Seems I am stuck with Ireland as my virtual destination. Only place I know where there are no slithery things lol. St. Patrick knew what he was doing! Our weather is dismal at the moment. Cold and grey so not pleasant to be outside in but the spring flowers are all emerging so hope for better things to come. Enjoy your day. Speak soon. Janet.
Response from Kansas65 made on 28th Feb 2023 13:08:09
Good Day Janet, It was nice to hear from you and hope your day is goind well.Yes it would seem that St. Patrick did a very good thing when he cast all those slithery things out only wish he would have managed to do that across the world and not just Ireland. 🙂 Sorry to hear the weather is not being nice but it seems it is not just there as ours isn't doing all that well either. We are on a rollercoster where it is up and down doesn't make to all that great with trying to stay healthy. Do try and enjoy your garden and it's new start for the year. I too have planted some seeds inside in hopes they will soon sprout and can be moved out into the garden when the weather is better. Take care and will talk to you soon.
Response from Freeno21 Original Poster made on 28th Feb 2023 21:13:54
Hi Terry, hope your day is going well. Been wet and miserable again here. Teacher strike day so had the company of some of my grandkids (useful when you are useful and all that) was telling the 14yr old granddaughter about the friends I have found on here. We talked about your Africa exploits and she said she would love to go and would even help you on and off the truck lol. She LIKES slithery things but hates frogs! Well we are all different. Having been in education of children for many years I have to be careful not to come across as too "teachery" to them if you see what I mean, so we have had some fun bits today mixed with some educational activities. Really enjoyed it after the few rough days. Hope to chat again soon. Best wishes. Janet.
Response from Freeno21 Original Poster made on 28th Feb 2023 22:59:09
We went shopping too and yes, prices are increasing at an alarming rate but our pensions don't! Makes saving harder for our little luxuries doesn't it. Been going up to various bits of Scotland for our hols for well over 30 yrs now (we Haggis hunt by the way, they are rare in Africa!) and have booked a favourite steading that accommodates all 5 of my children in separate cottages, plus a fair few of the grandchildren. We are taking some of hubby's ashes up there to release so will be a bittersweet moment for me. On a positive note will be the first time in ages that we have all been on holiday together so I will make the most of it. Oh and granddaughter wanted to know if they have wild horse herds in Africa (she is horse riding mad) said I didn't know but thought the lions and cheetahs might say no as they are some of the top of the food chain. Over to you for that one lol
Response from Freeno21 Original Poster made on 3rd Mar 2023 11:09:17
Morning Terry, hope you are well. Didn't get to leave you a message yesterday as I was putting one on for Jackie when my daughter came to tell me her mum in law had died. Knocked me back a bit for the rest of the day! I didn't sleep well last night, probably because of that news, but I am blaming you for the weird dreams lol. I was in the jungle and knew that something was following me, when I turned it was a tiger. Of course I ran but it was catching up. Woke up in a hot sweat. When I dozed off again I was in a ravine and when I looked up there was the blasted tiger again stalking across the rocks above me. Gave up on sleep after that. My granddaughter and her trusty Google says the dream means strength and power, I think it means yet another night of lost sleep! On the plus side I have completed my monotonous jobs and am going to do precious little for the rest of the day. I have some books from xmas to read, normally devour them from boxing day to New Year but hadn't the inclination this year. downloaded four books onto my kindle last night for bedtime reading. I love the feel of a real book but find the kindle easier to man in bed. See we are threatened with snow early next week so make the most of the weekend. Speak soon. Janet.
Response from DebbieSzr made on 3rd Mar 2023 14:11:32 > @Freeno21
Sorry for your loss, but you are doing well in terms of using your time productively.
Response from DebbieSzr made on 3rd Mar 2023 14:13:06 > @Freeno21
I love reading and the sea too. I also love music. Feel free to chat anytime.
Response from DebbieSzr made on 3rd Mar 2023 14:14:33 > @Kansas65
I hope you have a great day too
Response from DebbieSzr made on 3rd Mar 2023 14:16:14 > @Freeno21
Hope you sleep better tonight and enjoy your weekend too.
Response from DebbieSzr made on 3rd Mar 2023 14:19:09 > @Freeno21
Well done Janet for willing yourself to feel better . The virtual tour I. Your head is a brilliant idea!
Response from DebbieSzr made on 3rd Mar 2023 14:22:53 > @Freeno21
Enjoy your holiday Janet and take care.
Response from Freeno21 Original Poster made on 4th Mar 2023 11:25:51
wishing you a happy 75th birthday. Have a lovely day!
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Mo chat
27th Feb 2023 03:00:52 (Last activity: 28th Feb 2023 23:01:20)
0
Thanks for voting!
New here and just became a widower. I'm looking for friends to chat with because it's very lonesome here now.
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 27th Feb 2023 07:06:43
Hi Mo chat,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

Response from Freeno21 Original Poster made on 27th Feb 2023 09:34:26
some of us here in the same boat. Welcome and hope you enjoy the chats.
Response from Freeno21 Original Poster made on 28th Feb 2023 23:01:20
please feel free to join in Mo. We are a friendly lot.
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CaroB4
18th Feb 2023 13:30:37 (Last activity: 20th Feb 2023 20:33:00)
1
Thanks for voting!
I lost my husband in June 2019 after two years of Chemo and stress - for Leukaemia. Only sign initially was a sort of bruising behind his knee - a thrombosis caused by the AML. Local GP gave him Antiseptic cream to rub on it (!) so I took him back to see a locum two days later - he gave him blood thinning injections and an appointment at hospital within two day - several hours but given diagnosis before I went home alone. He stayed in to start treatment...coped well with chemo...but it comes back...finally no more treatment offered and nothing we can do about it.

I heard of a Bereavement Strolling Group later on in the Autumn and joined that,,,and also as a Volunteer at the site afterwards. Helped me enormously and I recommend it! Take care of yourself.
Caro
Response from Freeno21 Original Poster made on 20th Feb 2023 20:33:00
Sorry to hear that Caro. Thanks for your recommendations. Guess it takes a while to get used to being alone.
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