That won’t go up there luv

That won’t go up there luv

That won’t go up there luv
That I’ll tell you now
I’ve delivered some beds in my time
It’s not going up anyhow.

Well what shall I do
I have no bed
Nip down the shop
And change it instead.

How long will that take
Oh, a couple of weeks
My face is turning red
I’m about to freak.

Then just like a god send
The other man said
Let’s give it a try
The lady needs a bed.

Well if we have to bend it
You’ll have to sign a form
And then you’ll loose your guarantee
I’m telling you be warned.

The mattress went up
Oh what a joy
The headboard was next
I wonder, what was his ploy.

If this won’t go up luv
I can’t bend that
It’s not as thick as the mattress
In fact the headboard is flat.

So thinking about the delivery
Remembering what he said
That won’t go up there luv
I now have my nice new bed.

Written by Pat Noon