What the papers say

What the papers say

It’s a worry waking up each day
I fear for what the news might say
For on it drones same old, same old,
And now we’re in lockdown,
If we’ve symptoms of a cold

First there was Brexit
That exhausted our ears
Politicians arguing
Not calming our fears
I feel so sorry for the Queen
For oh what family dramas
has our dear monarch seen?

Randy Andy,
Such a disgrace
We’ve watched that grin
Wiped off his face
And then she sees
Her beloved grandson Harry
Quit royal duties
Because of the woman he did marry

Megxit Megxit
In search of more fame
She didn’t understand
That being a royal is not a game
For you just can’t flounce
Straight in then straight out
That will cause the U.K. public
To boo and shout

For we have brand Beckham
That’s quite enough
Oh the price of fame
When the media gets tough
But alas that’s tittle-tattle
Compared to this
There’s not a single bulletin
We dare to miss

And who would have thought
Ruling the world,
Two blonde bombshells
With straight hair not curled,
Trump and Boris what a pair
And what unfortunate looks they equally share,
But trust we must, in these elected men
promises will come to fruition
But I just wonder when?

But it looks like parliament
Is about to close down
For fear of the virus
Is heading up to town
And oh my goodness
What would we do
If our wonderful Government
Can’t debate policies new
Oh what would the papers say
The U.K. shuts down, a permanent holiday!

Tune in to the telly
Turn on the wireless
The world’s gone hysterical
With the dreaded Coronavirus,
Can’t kiss your friends, can’t shake hands,
Holidays cancelling to far off foreign lands

And in the supermarkets
The shelves are now empty
With gross panic buying
When actually there’s still plenty
But the greatest shock I think of all
There is no loo roll paper left at all
Oh what drama, oh what farces
At least we still have newspaper
To wipe our arses!!!

I dread the news with fear and hate,
I’m off to the Caribbean to self-isolate.
For life is for living
We need to have fun
And after our terrible winter
I desperately need sun