Two bags instead of three

Two bags instead of three

Last minute shopping before my holiday
I must get everything today
Euros, medication, and toiletries
Tomorrow we’re on our way.

That extra pair of sandals
A top I’d not seen before
A dress that’s shouting buy me
I’m immediately drawn through the door.

When picking up my medication
I was handed a stool pot and a cardboard hat
If you could return this by 12 o’clock tomorrow
I wasn’t expecting that.

It wasn’t a cardboard hat really
It was to help me fill up the pot
It could be painted and used as a trilby
Then again, I maybe think not.

I put it in with my other shopping
Not giving it a second thought
It must be just a routine check-up
Not testing for something I’d caught.

I got home feeling quite accomplished
Needing some lunch and a nice cup of tea
But just like someone had just turned the light on
I had two bags instead of three.

Out of all the bags, it had to be that one
The one with the stool pot and cardboard hat
Put it down in one of the changing rooms
Or in the shoe shop, next to where I was sat.

After a few calls and a lot of explaining
I finally found the lost bag
Not in the shoe shop, with the half-price sale
But in a boutique, with the full price tag.

Could you tell me what’s in the bag, please
I could picture the smile on her face
Just like the conveyer belt game on the tele
I explained at a very quick pace.

A cuddly toy, a speedboat, and a stool pot
Medication and a new pair of shoes
Oh come on, please don’t keep me guessing
I’m about to burn out my very short fuse.

Yes, your bag is here
Just ask a member of staff
As I walked out I felt slightly embarrassed
But all the same, I had to laugh.

I got home to find a message from the surgery
I’m sorry the stool pot wasn’t for you
I think I’m going to have that cuppa
And a big piece of cake with it too.