The Wild Goose Chase

The Wild Goose Chase

I used to be quite placid with the patience of a saint,
but now I sit here rocking with a neighbourhood restraint.
It started with a lovely pond and manicured grass lawn,
because of him I’m sitting here despondent and forlorn.

What happened then?

It was early in the morning on a Sunday back in June,
I noticed out my window that my flowers were bestrewn.
the perpetrator came into view, a big old goose was he,
he was chomping happily at my plants was what I came to see.

Then what happened?

Well, I ran out with my kitchen broom to chase him off with haste,
he stood there like matador with a look that was barefaced.
No, this bird was here to stay and no broom would alter that,
with honk and hiss he squared me up, ready for combat.

What did you do?

To save my garden was the plan, so I gave a battle cry,
he flapped his wings for his assault and looked me in the eye.
He sped towards me in a charge; the war was on the way,
now neighbours lined the garden fence to watch the great affray!

And then?

We got embroiled and rolled around the garden like a ball,
with feathers flying everywhere and some shrieking I recall.
Next came law enforcement to keep the peace once more,
they pulled us both apart with haste and pushed me to the floor.

Then what?

The goose was shepherded off the lawn, and then he waddled on his way,
I was handcuffed on a charge of cruelty and affray.
No amount of pleading helped my case; I was clearly banged to rights,
the charge was certainly short and sweet, ‘behaviour that incites’.

The verdict

The judge was totally unimpressed to any plead I gave,
he served me with a hefty fine and told me to behave.
I was warned to leave the goose alone he made his thoughts quite clear,
No matter what the gander did I was not to venture near.

And now!

It’s not the goose that wanders there across my fine green lawn,
he’s invited all his family too from evening dusk to dawn.
So here I sit and watch them all as they churn up my sweet grass,
C’est la vie I tell myself as I watch the gaggle pass.

I think I’ll build a lake!

Teresa Harrison –Best (Revised © 2021 )

Please don’t judge me as this is totally fictional