The Menopause Club

The Menopause Club

And so today we welcome Claire
To our elite society
To experience the strangest quirks
Of menopausal variety

At night as we steam up
Our sleep is often broken
Even in the depth of winter
Our windows are wide open

Our partners freeze beside us
Under duvets, in thick pyjamas
We lie there boiled and sweating
Like we’re running in the Bahamas

When we go outside in winter
Our coats are left undone
Summer, when it’s flamin’ hot
Phew! we fan ourselves in the sun

That unexpected flash of heat
We’re being consumed by fire
Heat crawls down from top to toe
An uncontrolled burning pyre

And because we’ve had so little sleep
We’re constantly irritable and tired
How can we possibly concentrate
And function normally as required?

Menopause messes with all emotions
We’re anxious, moody, can’t be arsed
Causes us to become forgetful
Erm… erm….. what else? …erm….seem daft??

We sometimes feel so lethargic
And skin shrivelled like a prune
With stomach bloated and rounded
Have I swallowed a balloon?

That confident assured woman
Who strode through life with vigour
Seems to have lost her way somewhat
Every challenge is impossibly bigger

But let’s look for the positive
It’s now the time of your life –
Freed from that time of the month
And all that periodical strife

So we sympathetically welcome Claire
To this natural process
As we help and support each other
Through this Menopausal mess