The Ice-cream Diet

The Ice-cream Diet

My husbands on a diet
He said the other day
Don’t get me nothin fattening
Cause thin I have to stay

Thin, I think has left us
A long long time ago
Middle age has hit us
With a mighty crushing blow

Our stomachs are expanding
Our waists aren’t getting thinner
Everything is hanging low
Gravity is the winner

My face is sliding down my neck
His beard is shades of grey
We’re creaky and we’re achey
As we struggle through the day

The problem is he’s hit the age
Where foods his only pleasure
A great big bar of chocolate
Is like a priceless treasure

Digging into carrot cake
Is like a blissful dream
But his day is not complete
Without a large ice-cream

And if he doesn’t get one
He’s sulky and he’s mean
He has a little tantrum
He has a little scream

He throws his toys out of the pram
He says oh what is life
If you won’t give me ice-cream
I’ll get another wife

That is why he’s got so big
We’re caught in a trap
It’s easier to let him eat
Than put up with his…..

Going on not giving in
He never will be slim
I think he likes his grub too much
To end up being trim

Anyway I’m not too worried
I’ll keep him happy and fed
Thin and skinny ain’t no good
To keep me warm in bed