The ‘Drat its’

The ‘Drat its’

She gave me a touch of the ‘Drat its’  today,
You see, we went for the shopping and I put it away,
I thought I had done well stashing that from the store,
Considering I hadn’t done it before.

My dearest was busy, (she’d gone on the throne),
So I hurried on and did this, (on my own),
But when she came to me, and looked everywhere,
She tutted and fussed, and threw her arms in the air.

‘You don’t upack it like that and just ‘throw it all in’,
I don’t know what you’ve done, don’t know where to begin,
You’re hopeless, your’re useless, it was just a small task,
And you can’t even do anything that I ask.

The food has a system, we have to rotate,
We have a calendar here, it’s the old, ‘sell-by date’,
So new stuff we put to the back of the shelf,
Or the old stuff goes off, and starts eating itself.

And why is the bread in the polishing tin?
Don’t tell me it’s the spot where you could squash it all in,
It might do for you, but it won’t do for me,
How would you like a Brasso sandwich for tea?

Why is my pop in the grill pan, the toothpaste don’t live in this bin,
The soup tins are dented, the scones are all broke, you’ve done that by cramming them in,
The tea bags don’t stay in the boxes, they go in this pot over here,
Oh, – and let’s see, – surprise surprise, I see you found the right place for your beer.

Where are the biscuits? oh, they’re here in the draw,
I think you and I had this discussion before,
They go in the tin, that’s what you do,
Not in the draw, where you sneak one or two.

I’ll have to unpack it, and do it myself,
Put it in its right place on its own little shelf’.
( I thought ‘you best do it quick then, it won’t last a week,
And the milk that I shoved in is springing a leak’).

So I had the ‘Drat its’, I tried to do good,
Should have left it alone now, yes, I really should,
But she put it all right, as you ladies all do,
(Except for the eggs, I had cracked one or two).

Mick.