The Binfluencer!

In this age of new words I am struck by one description, the word is ‘Binfluencer.

‘ Definition, ‘Someone who puts the bins out in alignment with what kind of bin is going to be collected that week and helps the whole street put the right bin out’. I found this hilarious, so I had to write a fictional poem … my husband is not as bad as the poem suggests! 🤣

The Binfluencer!

We got ourselves a problem, there’s so much now at stake,
the neighbourhood’s erupting, it’s time of make or break!
You may call me melodramatic, or sensational at best,
I’ll start at the beginning, then you can guess the rest.

It started with a wheelie bin, and a man who was obsessed,
he chose to be an early bird, but never second best.
Another neighbour noticed that our bin was on the verge,
so he got up extra early to satisfy his urge.

So, this is how it started, the bin wars of the street,
the battle of four neighbours, never bowing to defeat.
A clatter of recycling in the early hours of dawn,
racing to the pavement, all logic now foregone.

It started with my husband, determined to outsmart,
to claim the honoured title and upset the apple cart.
He sneaks out in the morning to check the path is clear,
then trundles down the wheelie bin ensuring no one’s near.

He tried this in the evening, but I put an end to that,
as he fell into a rose bush and landed on our cat.
So, he tried this feat by torchlight and that was just as bad,
as someone nicked the wheelie bin, that left him hopping mad.

Then it reappeared again, just as the dustcart left,
he was acting like a raging bull at the notion of this theft.
He sulked just like a toddler, stamping his size tens,
complaining that it wasn’t fair to family and his friends.

All the partners have agreed the bin wars must now cease,
so, the wheelie wheels have been removed to bring about some peace.
No whinging will be accepted, no complaints will be observed,
the wheels are under lock and key and there they’ll stay preserved!

I’ll let you know if it works!

© Teresa Harrison-Best.
November 2024