Miss Blenkinsop’s Kist

Madeleine Blenkinsop was a spinster of 65 years of age, and she had been retired from her job as Secretary at the firm of Aldwych, Smith and Jones for a year or two. 

She pondered what to do next, as she felt able to do other work, even if it was not full time.  She had a relatively small pension, very much in line with her secretarial position, but she had one huge advantage, the huge Victorian house she had inherited from her parents, and where she still lived.  It had not been split up into flats, as was the current mode, so she pondered whether to sell it, and live off the proceeds, or take the flat option and she would manage them on a day to day basis.

Her first thought was to take in students, as she lived in a university city.  However, she did not think students would pay very well, and although her home was not a listed building, it was still a gracious Victorian home in a leafy suburb which had views of the sea as well.  There was definitely more money to be made in the adult market.   So she took the flat option and she had lots of fun adapting her home into 5 or 6 flats, one of which she took herself, the one with the gorgeous view of the nearby bay.  She took courses on management of flats, and really started enjoying herself.  Until the tenants arrived.

They were mostly young people who ‘raved” about her quaint home with its olde worlde English feel and beautiful garden, which looked simple but actually took her hours to look right.  Madeleine’s problem was that she took way too much interest in her “boarders”as she called them.  She had a painter who spilled paint over her beautiful oak floors.  She spent a fortune putting that right, these floors dated back to 1898.  Then there was the would be writer who tapped away on his laptop well into the night, with lights burning all over the flat.  Then – even worse, an actress with an exceptionally loud voice who insisted on rehearsing her with windows wide open on hot summer nights.  She had listened to way too many renditions of the Mousetrap, with her in the female lead. So for a change, she was really delighted when a young couple pitched up to take over her favourite flat, which was in the attic.  They obviously were not married, way too lovey dovey for that (WAS MISS BLENKINSOP REALLY THAT WORLDLY?), the girl a marketing assistant in her 20’s, and the guy an actor (who she had not heard of).

‘’I’’m resting at the moment”said the young man, obviously meaning he was out of work.  Clearly, his young lady was his lifeline,  and they paid their rent in advance, so she was not too worried.  They were friendly and did not make her feel like she belonged in a museum.  They did not play their music too loud, or have big parties or make a huge mess.

“So little work for actors at the moment”, he told Miss Blenkinsop.  My last part was in the stage version of Beauty and the Beast, fortunately I do a bit of agency work doing Gorillagrams, that sort of thing”.   Miss Blenkinsop was too polite to ask what a Gorillagram was, otherwise she would have known it was a saucy way to wish someone happy birthday, dress up as a gorilla, maybe strip off a bit ala Chippendales, and hand them a nice birthday cake, all paid for by the girls at the office.

Russell’s eye fell on a beautiful kist she had in the corner of her lounge.  It really was a lovely piece of carved wood, very well cared for.  Miss Blenkinsop noticed his interest and said;

“Nice isn’t it.   Been in my family for some generations, I think my great grandfather bought it in the l860’s, the Victorians loved this sort of thing.  I don’t use it much, I just store treasured items in there, then I know they are safe.” My only problem is, I had a combination lock put on it, and I keep forgetting the combination and have to keep ringing the lock company.  My memory isn’t what it was.  That’s why I write lists on the small blackboard in the hall”.

‘It is really quaint” said Russell, ‘”a real treasure chest””.

After he left, Miss Blenkinsop had an idea how to remember the combination on the lock.  She wrote it on her blackboard.  She would just have to remember not to wipe it off.

The next day Russell and his girlfriend went out together just as the Window Cleaner arrived.  The couple had a very high window in the loft, so she got their permission for the cleaner to go into their apartment.  Miss Blenkinsop let the cleaner in, then noticed that lying in the corner of the room was a sophisticated modern rifle.  She hoped it was not loaded, and went to pick it up, but she had heard tales of guns going off by people who did not know how to handle guns, so she thought better of it.

Suppose inoccuous looking Russell was really a hit man, and his story about gorillagrams and acting was all just hogwash?  She took a quick look round their small apartment, but it was all terribly normal, all Ikea furniture and a huge TV, plus a Hi fi to practice his gorillagram music.  It was sparsely furnished as she expected of a couple who did not have a lot of money.

She hastily beat a retreat and forgot about the gun and the young couple for now.

Time went on and Russell gave her a sneak peak of his Gorilla outfit but did not give her any further details of his act.

About a month later Miss Blenkinsop decided she needed to look at her kist, as she had bought a new photo frame and one of her old photos would look perfect in it.  She went to see if her combination number was written on her blackboard, and congratulated herself on not having wiped it off.  When she opened the kist, she was alarmed to see that there was a huge parcel inside, one that she had definitely NOT put in there.  She was suddenly scared, and remembered the rifle, and wondered if Russell had decided to hide it in there, but how would he know the combination when she did not tell him she was going to write the number on her blackboard?  OR maybe he guessed that she would do that, bearing in mind, she kept forgetting the combination?

The only thing to do would be to confront him about her find.

She picked the parcel up and shook it.  It did not feel that heavy, could it possibly contain a gun? And if it was not a gun, was he perhaps trying to hide money in there.  People like to put valuables in kists and of course there was always the possibllity that it wasn’t Russell, she had other lessees and many of them had mentioned her quaint kist.

Eventually her curiousity got the better of her and when Russell came in from one of his assignments, she asked him to pop in and see her.

Russell arrived, looking the picture of innocence.  She did not know what to say, so she put the parcel on her desk.  He blushed, and looked embarrassed when she pointed to it, and asked for an explanation.

He ran his fingers through his hair and hesitated.  Then he began’;

“Miss Blenkinsop, I have just been given a big part in a new upcoming tv series called Legals4U, and I decided to take the bull by the horns and ask Melissa to marry me.  Because they paid me part of my money up front, I bought her a ring, I  know the package does not look like that, but I wanted it to be a sort of game, you know lots of paper and boxes, like pass the parcel.  See for yourself.  Unpack the parcel”.

Without saying a word, she unpacked the parcel, and many pieces of paper and string later, she came to a small box which she hesitated to open.  Russell smiled, encouraging her to open it.  As she snapped it open, a beautiful solitaire flashed at her from inside the box.  It was a beautiful square cut gem, nestling in a surround of gold leaf.  A real treasure.  Miss Blenkinsop was touched, but she still wanted an explanation.

Russell cleared his throat.

Ï know it was presumptuous and deceitful of me, but I guessed that you were writing your combination on the Blackboard, so when I decided I could not hide the ring in our apartment it is too small and cramped and too valuable an item, but I so wanted to give her this ring on the anniversary of our first meeting?  I hope you understand”.

Well, what could she say?  Russell and Melissa had two things to celebrate, clearly he had bargained on her not opening the kist and she did not believe he would ever steal anything.

There was just one more question.

“What is the rifle for”?’

‘I use it for my act.  I don’t just do gorillas.  The girls love officers.  You know army officers, navy officers, air force… you have to have a gun, and it isn’t real, by the way”’.

Miss Blenkinsop laughed.

“Just wait a minute she said.  Ï’ve got a lovely bottle of Bollies and I have been looking for someone or something as an excuse to drink it.  Would you and your lovely lady mind if I toast your health tonight?  After all, now I now I can sleep soundly in my bed”!