Man flu

Man flu

A man is very precious when he’s feeling ill
The slightest little sniffle and he’s looking for a pill.
A tiny wheezy tickle and he takes himself to bed,
the faintest signs of man flu fills everyone with dread.

His headaches make him think he has the start of a brain tumour.
You will know that he has started when he’s lost his sense of humour.
Demands will have you running, making lemon and hot honey.
But don’t tell him he should man up, he might not find it funny.

He will tell you of his symptoms and how he is much worse,
you have to just accept it and not swear at him and curse.
And he will point out quietly that you have just a cold,
at this point he’ll be lucky if he makes it to grow old.

And when it is all over, he will say he had bronchitis,
with further complications and a nose full of rhinitis.
He will tell you of the night sweats, and the dreadful constipation.
Infected sinusitis and the night time palpitations.

He will tell you how he suffered but just managed to pull through,
how brave he was to get through such a heavy bout of flu.
He’ll go on about his symptoms, the muscle aches and pains
how he struggled on regardless, not wanting to complain.

So if you have a man who thinks he has the flu,
there is something quite important that you must learn to do.
You should phone his darling mother, and ask her to step in,
and leave them both to wallow whilst you pour yourself a gin!

Written By Jan Millward