Lothario Joe

LETTER TO A LOVER:

Dear Joe,

Well I know you’ve been here again and I can still smell your unique scent in the air, eau-de-Joe we used to call it, didn’t we, sweetheart. I bet you heard my key in the lock and skedaddled before I could see you. Hmm, I see you’ve helped yourself to food again. How can you be so traitorous when you know how much I love you. I really wish you could make up your mind who you want, her or me, then perhaps I can try to get on with my life without you.

I do have an inkling where she lives you know, the kids spotted you on the next street. They said they shouted your name but you just slunk off up an alley. Back to her, I suppose. I’m hoping you might come back again later. You did the other day when you’d sneaked in for food whilst I was at work, didn’t you?

You made me jump, I was just snoozing over late night telly when I heard your trade-mark tap-tapping. It was open, as you knew it would be and you were soon sidling up to me on the sofa. Oh Joe, it was just like you’d never been gone. How we cuddled and canoodled! With you by my side I felt so content and happy I must have nodded off. Of course it didn’t last; when I woke up you were gone. As usual.

Oh Joe, I do wish I could be strong enough to lock that cat-flap, I really do.

Love and kisses,

Mummy xxxxx