A Little Something for Hallowe’en

Trick or Treat

She detested all kiddies that mean Witchy Mac,
Behind dingy net curtains she waited.
For kids on the street to get close to her house,
Their laughing and shouting she hated.

She opened her window and gave a loud shriek,
‘Clear off you young varmints, just go,
I’m sick of the noise from your loud cheeky mouths,
You’ll regret that you bothered me so!’

This fired the lads’ fun so they thought up a plan,
To push Witch Mac’s rage to the limit,
And when darkness fell they rapped on her door,
Then dived out of sight in a minute.

This routine continued, it made the witch ill.
She developed a loose phlegmy cough,
Her long nose was drippy, she was sweaty and tired,
Mac decided she’d had quite enough.

She looked in her diary, it was near Hallowe’en!
Absolutely her favourite date.
And although she was ill, Mac still found the strength,
To mix potions and seal the kids’ fate.

Thirty-first soon arrived and the witch was all ready,
Their knocking she soon recognised.
And though they were dressed up as ghosts and as ghouls,
They didn’t fool her gimlet eyes.

‘Oh hello my dears’ her poor voice was gruff,
From that phlegm and her potion’s foul vapours,
‘I don’t want a trick, so I’ve bought you some treats.’
This’ll stop you young pests with your capers.

Those innocent oiks with their wide naive eyes,
Were just bursting with lies and deception,
But they didn’t fool me, oh no not Witch Mac,
She gave them a smiley reception.

That grin that was meant to incite the lads’ trust,
Revealed grey pointy teeth, smelly smile.
Halitosis was thick, but greed won the day,
Pinching noses they waited a while,

To savour those goodies, their mouths salivated,
In sugary anticipation,
What they didn’t know was the syrupy ‘sweets’,
Were a cure for acute constipation.

‘Oh, these are so yummy,’ they mumbled and dribbled
Through sticky wet lips, gooey teeth
‘Daft bat didn’t know it was us at the door;
If she had she’d have given us grief.’

So just around midnight, the bewitching hour,
Gums throbbing with mean pyorrhoea,
Mac thought of those kids who’d caused her such strife,
Bellies cramping with foul diarrhoea.