Gold Star

Jan Millward shares with us a very amusing poem about her school days and her dream of getting a gold star!

Gold Star

I’m rapidly approaching pensionable age
I should be rather clever, a veritable sage.
But many things have passed me by, It may be now too late,
but here I’ll try and have a go and set the record straight.

The periodic table, what was that all about?
They tried to teach be chemistry,but I just messed about.
The molecules collided and didn’t reach my brain,
they never did quite make it through my permeable membrane.

And what about the tangents, the books full of cosines?
I didn’t do my homework,but I was made to do my lines.
Isosceles triangles, the prisms and the angles,
all they did was fill my head with knotted facts and tangles.

And then there was the algebra, percentages and fractions,
I never did makes sense of those or chemical reactions
Those facts about biology, the bits that make up cells,
all those double lessons were my idea of hell.

Physics was no better, with old Newton and his apple,
what I was going to have for lunch was more than I could grapple.
They tried to teach me Latin, Amo, Amas Amat,
but they said I couldn’t handle more than a year of that.

All I really wanted was some books by Enid Blyton,
not learning about planets and little moons called Titan.
So teachers if you read this, I’ve managed well so far
but all I ever wanted was that coveted gold star.

Jan Millward©