Drastic action!

I waddled to the bathroom, and had a little peek,
And what I saw looking back at me, – well!, – I could hardly speak,
‘Mr Blobby’, in his prime, – a mirror full of fat!
I thought, ‘oh dear, the mirror’s bust, I’m getting rid of that!’

I took action straight away, – the mirror’s in the bin,
I’m gonna buy a new one, – one that makes me thin,
She thinks I’m going skipping, outside! – in the yard,
And running round the area – in a purple leotard!

‘NO!’ – I put my foot down, the neighbours all will hide,
If they see me coming – they will all run off inside,
I just ain’t going running and that’s the end of that,
Besides the birds will all be scared – at the slapping of me fat!

And so a compromise is reached, a solution found at last,
I do not have to diet, and I do not have to fast,
I’ve bought a ‘thinner mirror’ – (but I’ve left it in the shed),
I’ve cut down on the cake as well, – (I’m eating chocolate instead!)

(Don’t tell her! ) xx
Mick

(Copyright Michael Westwood 2015)