Deal or no Deal

Deal or no Deal

According to statistics
I need to tighten my belt
Not around the waistline
With that I have plenty of help.

Need to look at the situation
Compare a deal or two
No bonus for your loyalty
It’s goodbye old, hello new.

Time for me to have a change
But I really don’t like that
Like everything to stay the same
Time to have a chat.

Press 1 for customer service
Press 2 if your loosing the will
Press 3 to hear all our offers
Press 4 if you can’t pay your bill.

Don’t you just love that music
That’s meant to calm you down
In fact it just does the opposite
Fisticuffs, with no smile, just a frown.

Good morning, how can I help you
Can I remind you all calls are recorded
This causes a bit of a silence
Immediately I forget why I was calling.

Well I’ve been with your company, for some time now
And my bills are just getting higher
Is there any discount for loyalty
As my bank balance is looking a bit tired.

Then after a long conversation
Half way through, I just lost the plot
As she reeles off an 18 month contract
I gained nothing
And didn’t save a lot.

And the daft thing about this
I thanked her
She must have been having a laugh
Had a right one on this morning
One who couldn’t do her maths.

Then an advert came on the telly
I can’t tell you the anger I feel
For all our brand new customers
We have a brilliant half price deal.

Written by: Pat Noon