They call it selective hearing

They call it selective hearing

Who invented selective hearing?
I take my hat off, and bow to you.
If it’s something he doesn’t want to hear
There’s no way of getting through.

At first I thought it was deafness
Or perhaps it’s just his age
But then I started to notice
He wasn’t at that stage.

I call his name, then call again
Try one more time, then count to ten.
Then it gets me thinking, sometimes, I think out loud
Can’t tell you all I’m thinking, cause of some I’m not to proud.

Right if he doesn’t come this time
You can have this fudge
The dogs standing right behind me
And totally refuses to budge.

The food was getting cold
I like mine piping hot
So I went into the dining room
And totally forgot.

What was it you were saying dear
The dog can have my tea
You know I’m watching Gold Rush
The best thing on T.V.

Didn’t you hear me calling?
Yes, I thought you would bring it on a tray
Thought we’d have a glass of wine
To end a stressful day.

I went into the kitchen
I’d left his plate upon the side
The cat was sat there grinning
With a smile she didn’t hide.

You can have my tea dear
I didn’t have to tell him twice
I’d call that selective hearing
And a glass of wine would be rather nice.