Be Careful what you wish for

Hedonist. Unfortunately, I had not watched the programme on Channel 4. So I was thrilled when I was told I had won an all Inclusive holiday to Jamaica, flights and all. There was no stopping me.

We arrived exhausted after a nine-hour flight and a terrifying taxi ride in the dark to the coast, stopping on the way at a bar, offering us drugs(!)which we declined. The Taxi driver deposited us saying ‘You are going to have an exciting time’!

We woke up to a beautiful Caribbean morning and had a swim before breakfast. So far so good. Plenty of women wandering around topless and there were two beaches. The Prudes & the Nudes!

We were told there would be entertainment that evening if you could call it that. A pyjama party which turned into simulated sexy and raucous music.

We took a Hobbie cat out next day and tried to ignore the general state of undress. We wandered over to the Grand Lido Negril hotel next door. Much more sedate but was told it was fully booked. So we were stuck with the nudes and Toga parties. We did get on their cruise boat with champagne on board, a cruise along the coast with some pleasant couples. What a pity we could not book in here.

Each night there was racy entertainment and very loud music so even if you wanted to go to bed early you had to put up with the noise. The swimming pool had nude aerobics but when you are a certain age, you feel more comfortable clothed.

A white owl flew by that evening and I had a foreboding. Sure enough next morning we went on the snorkel boat to the reef but it was too rough for me with the current and I felt quite frightened holding on to the rope while the  others explored.

A final dinner with drunken guests jumping on to the stage, having to be physically removed. I walked along the beach feeling rather lonely with the lights of Negril shining over the sea. Such a beautiful place ruined for me. We could not change our flights to get back earlier.

I rang the Magazine that gave the prize to tell them what it was all about!

Susie Groom