Nip & Tuck!
Here is another extremely amusing and witty poem from Tracey Curtis …
I NEED A NIP & TUCK
I think I need some work done
Just a little tuck or two
So I’m off to see the surgeon
To see what he can do
They say he is quite famous
He really holds some clout
So I’ve booked up an appointment
To sort my body out
So off I went to London
With my cheque book and perfume
I took the train, then a cab
Now I’m in the waiting room
I couldn’t keep it secret
There were people there I knew
He called me in and then he said
“What can I do for you? ”
WELL, my ears, they just stick out
And my nose is far too long,
My eyes are too close together
and my mouth is just so wrong
My legs are far too skinny
My feet are much too small
I’d like my fingers longer
And I want to be quite tall
My arms look more like chicken wings
And I need a bit more hair
My boobs are really tiny
So I’ll need a bigger pair
My knees they knock together
My bum is much too saggy
My neck looks like a road map
And my eyes are really baggy
My shoulders are too rounded
And my eyes I want them blue
They said you are the best
So thats why I’ve come to you
My tummy needs a tuck or two
And my hips look out of place
My skin could do with changing
And there’s wrinkles in my face
My elbows are so boney
And my eye brows seem to meet
This is all I need I think
And then I’ll be complete
So when can you start on me
Can you do it in a day
Money is no object
My hubby he can pay
WELL… I am quite speechless
But I’ll tell you what I think
It’s not a tuck or two you need
You really need a SHRINK !!!!!!!!
Written by Tracey Curtis
Tracey Curtis
Latest posts by Tracey Curtis (see all)
- My Little Lazy Bones - September 5, 2015
- That Little Robin Red Breast - August 31, 2015
- He’s Just An Old Stray That Santa Forgot - August 28, 2015
- My mind is like a playground - April 8, 2015
- I wrote a letter to Santa - December 4, 2014
