It’s OK to be Grey!
I have discovered one of nature’s best kept secrets … it’s OK to be grey!
I am 50 years’ old and I am grey and proud! Not the old ‘over the hill – she’s let herself go’ grey – but the new generation ‘grey and chic’ grey. And, I want to inspire other women to have the confidence to try it out for themselves. I’m not saying that women should not dye their hair—but they should have the confidence to choose. There is a huge trend for women choosing grey and the way I see it, if you give grey a go and you don’t like it, you can always dye again.
Deciding to go grey is a very personal decision and it’s not for everyone. I was 45 when I decided to ditch the dye. My decision was based on the fact that as I was getting older I felt I did not look natural with brown hair. As we age, our complexions become pale, our skin becomes thin and the wrinkles appear. I found that continuing to dye my hair brown actually made me look older as it emphasised the aging lines in my skin. I noticed too that, as is normal for women of the peri-/menopausal phase of life, my hair was getting a little thinner, especially at the front and my scalp was more visible through the dyed hair. I was frustrated by the fact that I was having to colour my hair every two weeks to get rid of the new grey regrowth coming through and I resented putting chemicals onto my scalp which might not be a healthy thing to do. I thought to myself, ‘stop fighting it, let the colour grow out and see what I really look like’. So I gave it a go.
I went ‘cold turkey’ and it took me about a year, with a lot of patience, to completely grow out the dyed hair. My hair had been in a bob style so the first thing I did was to get it cut quite short. During the growing out phase my hair was such a mess, a mixture of the old dyed colour, my new natural dark brown and the grey coming through. I felt that I looked like I was letting myself go and that I didn’t care about how I looked. Of course this is not true—I really cared! And, being honest, it was so difficult. I purchased a book at this time and it really helped me to keep going: ‘Going Gray’ by Anne Kreamer. In her book, Anne describes her own personal journey to grey. I owe so much to this author as her book gave me great hope and confidence to carry on.
I stuck with growing out the colour and every time I had a new cut I could see the grey/white strands of hair shining through more and more, especially round my face like a light. It was like a metamorphosis. I felt so free … free of the shackles of colour … free to be the real me. I can’t wait for my hair to go even greyer/whiter and hope to enjoy the continuing journey. For me, it’s not just the outer look, it’s how I feel inside too.
I consider my grey as a new colour – not the absence of colour.
Once I had grown out my dyed colour, I quickly learned that it is not enough to go grey and expect to wear the same colours in clothing, make-up and jewellery. I learned that my grey hair required different hair products to care for it. I had to change and adapt to the new me.
Clothes
I had to look at my colour palette and discovered that I could no longer wear warm autumnal colours like browns, creams, beige, green and yellow because these simply did not go with grey. In fact, they look terrible with my grey hair! I had to re-stock my wardrobe with cool colours to match my new look, ie black, charcoal, grey, blue, aubergine, purple, pink, white—jewel colours are perfect. The bottom line for me is to avoid colours that contain any warm yellowy tones.
Make-up
I had to look at my make-up and learned to highlight my face so that it did not look washed out. I use a slightly lighter foundation both in colour and texture, some pink/natural blusher, smokey/taupey/silvery eye shadows, charcoal grey eyeliner, black mascara, and pink/natural lipstick. I learned to define my eyes and lips so that they stand out but in a natural way to complement the lighter hair around my face.
Jewellery
I discovered that I could no longer wear gold jewellery as it did not go with my new appearance. I now wear silver and it looks stunning with grey/silver hair or coloured beads to match my clothing.
Hair products
I learned that my grey hair can get a bit dull over time and, in order to keep the white strands vibrant, I began to use a purple shampoo specifically for grey hair at least once a month (or when required). I changed my daily shampoo to Jhirmack Silver Plus mixed with a little Wash and Go 2 in 1 shampoo. I found that my grey hair was quite fragile so became aware of the damaging effects of electric hair straighteners—keeping their use to a minimum.
Observations …
– I have learned that grey-haired women are in the minority and that the vast majority of women colour their hair.
– I have learned that men with grey hair are viewed differently to women. If it’s OK for men to go grey and in fact praised and glorified (I’m thinking George Clooney here – and he’s gorgeous) then why is it not the same for women?
– I have learned that women with grey hair are not used very much in advertising. There are very few exceptions to this, eg supermodels Yasmina Rossi, Cindy Joseph and Pia Gronning who are all naturally beautiful. However, it is generally very rare to see grey-haired women used to advertising beauty products or fashion.
– I have learned that there are very few women employed as television newsreaders and presenters.
This list goes on …
Advantages of being grey
– I feel a sense of freedom – both internally and externally.
– I feel I look more natural. It’s funny how, if you let nature do its own thing, everything is harmonious. My eyes, skin and hair match.
– I don’t have the burden of having to physically colour my hair every two weeks.
– I am not putting chemicals onto my scalp which might not be a healthy thing to do – we don’t know what they might be doing to us.
– It’s free!
Disadvantages of being grey
– I sometimes miss my lustrous, shiny, rich deep brown natural colour I had when I was younger (although I don’t miss the dyed colour). But, I suppose this is really a hankering after my youthful days which we all think about from time to time – a growing older thing.
– I miss being able to wear any colour under the sun.
– I don’t like the way my grey hair gets dry—but I try to deal with that by using the correct hair care products.
The advantages for me far outweigh the disadvantages and I will NEVER colour my hair again!
Because we are worth it too!
I have learned that there is a huge number of grey-haired women who are being ignored by companies in their marketing of products. I think attitudes need to be changed about grey-haired women, ie attitudes in women themselves, society in general, the media, and in the world of beauty/fashion and advertising where trends are set and where influence is created. I am convinced that there are a lot of women who would consider going grey if they could only see how beautiful they could be by the example shown in advertising. Advertising is so powerful and has so much influence on people’s attitudes and lives. So, advertisers please listen – we want to see chic and sassy grey-haired models on television, in magazines, in newspapers, on billboards, on the internet, etc! There is a grey hair revolution happening from the ground up, but the advertisers have not fully woken up to this fact – they need to get on board!
My advice to any women considering to go grey
– Give it a go. You’ve got nothing to lose. You can always colour your hair again if you don’t like it.
– It’s a hard journey during the transitioning period but stick with it – it’s worth it in the end.
– Join ‘Gray and Proud’ on Facebook and get as much information as you can from books, websites, blogs, forums, etc and search out images of women with grey. This will give you the inspiration and confidence on your journey to grey.
– Check out the ’50 Shades of Gray Hair’ video on YouTube: Click the following link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5dM7X1Gr00.
– Enjoy the new you – it’s so empowering!
Grey is OK!
Denise’s blog page can be found at: http://greyisok.blogspot.co.uk/
Written by: Denise O’Neill
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- It’s OK to be Grey! - July 20, 2013
