Marking Midlife Milestones
Our teens and twenties may typically be seen as the decades most filled with change, but important milestones crop up in midlife and beyond too – and they can spark a shake-up, explains Abi Jackson
Turning 50, becoming a grandparent, getting divorced, going through the menopause – these are just a few examples of significant milestones that can occur during mid and later life. And, according to a recent survey, such events can inspire an image overhaul.
More than half of the women questioned in research commissioned by Kaleidoscope, said a major life event had triggered them to treat themselves to a bit of a makeover, with 86% saying their confidence was boosted as a result.
Updating their wardrobe was reported as the best makeover method, but many (31%) said a new haircut or colour was effective too. Celebs also have a role to play; 67% of the women confessed the likes of Helen Mirren, Victoria Beckham and Carole Middleton would inspire their alterations.
Of course, there’s no rule that you ‘have’ to get a new hair-do or outfit to mark these life stages. But milestone makeovers go far deeper than merely wanting to keep up with trends or splash out on a shopping spree.
“Often, when women reach a significant milestone in their lives, we like to spend some time on ourselves; having a new hairstyle, buying new clothes, going for a new look,” says Cheryl Rickman, author of The Flourish Handbook and creator of The Flourish Challenge (www.flourishchallenge.com).
“It’s part of the whole process of achieving that milestone – rewarding ourselves, or deciding to step out of our comfort zone and do something a little different. Doing so is a confidence-booster, and we tend to feel better if we’ve shown ourselves some self-love!”
Milestones are significant because they represent transition. Our environments, lifestyles and looks may all change – and this brings about a shift in identity too. It takes time to process and adjust to these changes. Even seemingly small – or very positive events, like your child getting married, finally reaching that well-earned retirement or the arrival of your first grandchild – can make us feel overwhelmed and out of synch, in a sense, as our brains update.
Expressing this through physical changes becomes part of that updating process.
“Midlife is a time of reinvention and therefore transition, which doesn’t happen overnight,” says award-winning life coach Jenny Garrett, author of Rocking Your Role (www.rockingyourrole.com). “To transition, you must let go of things: a job title, a marriage, a way of thinking, and experiment with new habits. Changing your hairstyle, clothing, your address, is a signal to yourself and the rest of the world that things are different.”
Makeovers also allow us to step out of our usual ‘uniforms’ and the roles attached to them. “To step out of the uniform of Mum, employee or wife is liberating,” adds Garrett. “It undoes habits, creates new paths. We’ve all seen those midlife women who don’t care what others think, they have a purple streak in their hair or bright red heels; we immediately think they must be interesting and are attracted to them. That’s the power of a midlife reinvention.”
Because yes, some of us may find change challenging, but it can clearly also present fantastic opportunities, if you learn to embrace the positives.
“If you’re a mother, you may be experiencing empty nest syndrome and new time and space on your hands. You will still be a mother, but it’s a perfect time to rekindle hobbies and interests or embark on new ones,” says Garrett.
“Midlife is also a time to step back and review your life so far and think; what next? Recapture hopes and dreams and set bold new aspirations for yourself.”
Allowing yourself time for hobbies and interests can be instrumental in moving forwards in a positive way too, especially if you take up activities that enable you to reflect, and work out what’s most important to you in life right now.
Because while the image makeover of a milestone may be important and a useful confidence-booster, letting go of the pressures to look a certain way can be just as much a part of it.
“The older we get, we often find we care less about the unrealistic beauty that proliferates in the media, as we’re more comfortable with who we are as individuals,” says Rickman. “Instead, many women turning 40 or 50 or overcoming adversity such as divorce, tend to start to look inside and work on their mindset, positivity and coping mechanisms.
“As well as a new look, more women are also studying yoga or meditation. We often feel the same as we did when we were in our twenties, so turning 40 can be a bit of a shock.
“But women seem to be embracing that now and making the best of themselves, both internally and externally, stepping forward into the next decades with confidence and gratitude.”
What changes to your life have you made since turning 50?
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