Coping with the behavioural changes of dementia
Get access to a free, expert care assessment from our professionals
Being verbally or physically attacked by an older adult with dementia comes as a shock; even more so when the person you love or care for has shown no past history of violence. Yet, aggression is a known and common symptom of dementia. The Cera team provide some tips on how you can cope with it below:
Dementia changes a person
When dementia sets in, it can change the way a person behaves in extraordinary ways. An older adult may start to shout or swear at you repetitively which can be deeply upsetting. Dementia patients can also cause physical harm by biting, scratching or hitting others.
Understandably, relatives often find it difficult to accept aggressive outbursts. However, it’s important to understand that this kind of behaviour is a side effect of the illness. It can happen for all manner of reasons:
Medical: your relative is in pain or feels unwell.
Emotional: they are frightened or confused.
Environmental: perhaps the room is too cold or bright.
Social: your loved one is lonely or bored.
Personal: they want to use the toilet or bathe.
It’s common for older people with dementia to react to these situations in a more explosive way than the rest of us since they often have no free will to change them. Moreover, dementia can cause hallucinations, delusions and paranoia. Memory loss and the inability to recognise people, even their own children, are some symptoms of dementia that can be terrifying for the person experiencing them, leading them to lash out in response.
How to handle aggression
When coming under attack, it’s important to make eye contact with your loved one and listen patiently to what they say whilst looking for clues as to what might have triggered the outburst.
Did you buy flowers for the room, but they dislike the potent smell of lilies? Do they need a cushion for their chair or is it near a draft? Work out what your relative can see, hear and smell, then adapt their surroundings to suit them as an individual. Making a few key changes to their environment or schedule can help avoid aggressive episodes.
Distraction is also a common technique to use. For example, if you know your relative becomes agitated by a particular noise, try putting the radio on to disguise it.
If the attack is physical, move out of harm’s way and remove any objects that could be used as a weapon. Unless they are in danger, try not to restrain your relative as this could make things worse.
If under verbal attack, try not to shout back or argue in retaliation. Appearing angry or raising your voice can fuel fear in your loved one. Try counting to ten before you respond or leave the room if you need to.
As you care for your loved one, look after yourself too. Vent your own frustrations to a friend or your GP. If you need a break, it’s okay to ask someone to step in to help, you’re important too. Cera can provide care workers to help ease the burden of care for your loved one and provide you with a much needed opportunity to regularly rest.
