14 things you only know if you’re obsessed with crisps
Are you a crisp-aholic? These are the signs you might be…
Is there anything more enjoyable than settling down on the sofa of an evening with a cold glass of your favourite tipple and a big bowl of crunchy crisps?
Everyone has their favourite type of the fried potato snack, of course, and fans of traditional flavours may be excited to know that Walkers is bringing back two retro varieties of Quavers – Prawn Cocktail and Salt & Vinegar – in January.
So that’s another couple of crisp packets you’ll be adding to your trolley in the New Year – every potato chip obsessive knows that you have to try all new (or reissued) flavours.
Here are 14 other things you only know if you’re a true crisp addict…
1. They’re the most moreish food
Try as you might, you cannot say no to crisps under any circumstances. Once that bag is opened, you know it’s going to be polished off in a matter of minutes – or seconds.
2. You ignore serving sizes
Yes, you know that it’s probably not great for your health, but there’s no way a tiny little 25g packet of crisps is going to satisfy your colossal craving. You can easily demolish a ‘family’ bag of Sea Salt & Balsamic Kettle Crisps in one go.
3. You have your own method of eating them
Some people like to start by munching all the little broken bits, leaving the big, pristine crisps until the end. Others like the do it the other way around. Some people shovel five into their gob at the same time. To each their own, we say.
4. You hate sharing
Sharing is so much not your thing that you have your very own secret hiding place in the kitchen to keep your precious snacks away from greedy thieves (aka other family members).
5. Crisp packets are really annoying
This is one of the few downsides to crisps. It’s impossible to open a crisp packet quietly, and you have to keep rustling the plastic every time you dive back in for another handful, meaning they’re a nightmare in a silent cinema.
6. You’re devastated when you run out
Opening your designated crisp cupboard only to discover you’ve completely run out, just when you were in the mood for a hefty helping of Sour Cream and Onion Pringles, is a devastating feeling no one should ever have to endure.
7. You will go out to buy them at all hours
It doesn’t matter what time of day or night it is, whether it’s raining or snowing outside – if you’re craving crisps and there’s a shop open nearby that sells them you will go out and buy them.
8. You’ve tried to quit
Remember that time when you realised your crisp consumption was getting out of hand and decided you weren’t going to have them in the house any more so that you couldn’t be tempted? Yeah, that didn’t last long did it?
9. You spend hours browsing
When it comes to supermarket shopping, the crisp aisle is your favourite aisle. You love browsing all the different packets and deciding whether you’re in the mood for some premium, organic, hand-crafted, artisanal, truffle-infused, baked potato chips or some good old fashioned Wheat Crunchies.
10. You’ll defend your favourite flavour to the death
Heaven help anyone who dares to argue that salt and vinegar isn’t the greatest crisp flavour of all time. Or that Kettle Crisps are better than Tyrells. You’ve got your favourites and you will not be swayed.
11. You love trying new flavours when you’re on holiday
Whenever you find yourself in a supermarket abroad you always make a beeline for the snack aisle so you can check out the international crisp options. Sparkling wine flavour? Seaweed? Salted Caramel? They aren’t always to your taste but it’s fun trying out all the weird and wonderful varieties.
12. You can’t have a drink without crisps
Whether you’re in the pub or in your own living room, uncorking a bottle of wine or flipping the cap off a cold beer is swiftly followed by the sound of a crisp packet being torn open. Crisps and booze is a match made in culinary heaven.
13. Finding a double layer crisp is the best thing ever
How good is it when you get a folded double crisp in your packet!! Winner……
— Dave (@Sniffa80) February 8, 2014
Plucking a crisp out of the packet and discovering that it’s one of those glorious flukes, where two slices of potato have fused together into a double layer of crunchy goodness is every crisp lover’s dream. Finding a TRIPLE crisp? We can practically hear strains of Handel’s Hallelujah Chorus in our head.
14. You have no shame about how you eat them
By the time you’ve devoured every last morsel then tipped your head back and poured those flavoursome flakes into your mouth, you are covered in crumbs and grease. But do you care? No you do not. It was worth it.
The Press Association
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