A confliction of the elements

They meet four times every year, once at each Soltice and then again at each Equinox. On this particular day they were meeting in the Solstice Room at Greenwich at 12 noon on the day of the Northern Solstice. Which is, of course the day when the Sun is at its most northerly point.

They meet quarterly to discuss and agree their joint strategy for generating the weather during the next three months. And when agreed that strategy is adopted by all until reviewed again at the next meeting.

Anyway on this occasion at one minute to twelve Sun put his coffee cup down, and glancing around said “Shall we take our places, then?” to which Cyclone replied “Gulfstream hasn’t arrived yet – she’s late again – probably forgot to adjust her clock, as usual”.

“Ah. Well, I don’t think we should start without her” said Sun, “She is after all a major influence on our weather and does need to be here”.

“Important? Major?” scoffed Anticyclone. “I don’t think so. “All she does is send a stream of warm-ish water from the Gulf of Mexico across the Atlantic”.

“Ha!” Countered Cyclone. “You may scoff but that selfsame warm water helps keep the climate here in the UK temperate, and without it we would experience far colder harsher winters and a significant reduction in the mount of farmland that would be suitable for the growing of arable crops.”

“Well if she can’t be bothered to make it on time then I don’t see why that should inconvenience the rest of us” said Moon. “I know she has a long way to come but I’m on a tight schedule and need to get some rest before my next rising”.

“I agree with Moon” said Cyclone “I have a lot of important work to do today and need to get started”.

“Important work?” said Anticyclone. “Pah! All you do is bring anti-clockwise air currents and send zones of low pressure across the Atlantic from the southwest that bring clouds and rain. It is not surprising that you are also known as a depression. Whereas my air currents circulate clockwise properly like they should and bring bright, sunny skies and land-clearing winds. And if it wasn’t for my bringing northerlies down from the arctic in winter no-one would ever have a white Christmas. So I rather think that my work is rather more important than yours.”

“Although my naturally good manners makes me reluctant to contradict you without my rain where would everyone be?” Countered Cyclone. “All the earth would be parched and dry and no-one would be able to grow any food. And I should also point out that I bring water for the lakes, rivers and reservoirs so although I may not always be welcomed by the population I am in fact very important! Even more so than yourself, I suggest”.

“Aren’t you both missing something rather significant here? Said Jetstream. “Without me you two would be going nowhere. Has it never occurred to either of you it is my motive power that moves you along? It is the path I choose that determines where you go, Anticyclone and for how long you linger in any one place, my friend.”

“Yes but you couldn’t exist without me to help generate you” responded Anticyclone.

“Don’t you dare contradict me” said Jetstream “that was a very rude remark. Apologise immediately”.

“I’ll do no such thing” retorted Anticyclone “you think far too much of yourself, that’s your trouble”.

“Well I never……..”

“Enough, enough” shouted Sun. “You all seem to have forgotten that it is the radiation I send that generates the warmth in both land and sea that gives rise to you all and thereby provides what is necessary for life on earth”.

“Well that may quite well be so” said Moon. “But at the risk of contradicting you both I need to remind everyone that it is my work that creates the tides that move the flow of water around the globe and, and that without my influence the planet would indeed be a very sad, stale place and devoid of any life. And furthermore I feel I must point out that none of you have any physical presence whatsoever. Apart from myself and our distinguished chairman, that is. In fact the rest of you are totally ephemeral, here and gone in a few hours.  So although you no doubt all have your own small parts to play in the generation of climate and weather I regard all your efforts as insignificant when compared with ours.”

Fortunately at this point the door opened and Gulfstream entered.

“Come in, come in” said Sun “We were just about to start”.

“Oh I’m so sorry, so sorry” she said. “I had a meeting with North Atlantic Drift which overran and I couldn’t get away. We’re having a spot of bother over salinity control and if that reduces much further it will adversely affect our work. It might even fall enough to cause my death.”

“Well anyway I’m not going to take any more aggression and contradictions from you, Cyclone” broke in Anticyclone “Just because people notice your rain more than my sun doesn’t mean that you are more important”.

“STOP, STOP!” Said Sun. “No more. I am fed up with you all for your rudeness, bickering and contradictions. Every one of you misunderstands. You are all needed and none of you are any more or less important than the others. Without my continued generosity in sending energy across space you would all be nothing! Without me none of you would have ever existed in the first place. In fact, you might even consider me the original founding member. So stop your petty squabbling and acknowledge me as the most vital and important. NOW!”

And at that he banged his gavel down fiercely, mayhem broke out and the prospect of a meeting was abandoned.

So if our weather is somewhat chaotic during the coming season at least now you now know why……..…